VengefulDistain

I awoke with a start, not remembering where I was or what had happened.
Looking around, I realized that I was lying in an abandoned playground not too far from my house. Then I saw my mum’s lifeless body. Tears welled in my eyes as memories flooded my mind, my father, my mother, and the darkness. I shut them out, not wanting to relive those moments in my head. Standing up, after pulling myself together (mentally), I decided that I’d go to my girlfriend’s house and see if I can sleep there for a while until I can find a place as far away from my dad as possible. I never want to see that abusive arsehole again.
I walked out the rusted gate and looked back in the direction of my dad’s house, knowing I’d never see him again. A touch of sadness filled my heart. It was the place I had grown up in and it held a lot of memories, even though they were mostly terrible, I remembered the times I had with my mum. Most of they were filled with joy, like the time I got bullied at school, so we decided to get revenge and filled water balloons up with honey and flour and threw them at him in the street. The look on his face was priceless…
Turning around with a slight smirk on my face, I saw the bus drive past the alleyway at the back of the playground and I broke into a run.
“Wait!” I screamed as I rounded the corner. The bus stopped and let people off; I jumped in through the back doors. I didn’t have any money for a ticket so I hoped the driver wouldn’t notice.
“Hey Jed!” a familiar female voice sounded behind me. It was my girlfriend.
“Ah Lilly, I was actually just coming to see you!” and after a moment, I saw she looked scared, “…what’s wrong?”
“Err…I can’t say on the bus but I’ll tell you when you get to my house”
I sat down next to her, feeling a little like she was going to break up with me, It wouldn’t have been the first time. We’ve been off and on for about a year now and always get together after falling into a massive fit of hot, sexual romance. We couldn't resist each other.
“Can’t you at least tell me what it’s about, you’re making me worried!”
She looked down and whispered, “Watch my hand”, and as I looked down, her hand shot up in flames for a second, before she closed her hand and extinguished the flames.
My mouth gaped open as I looked back up at her. She looked scared, and I could tell that wasn’t the only thing she had to tell me.

***

Arriving at her house, she burst into tears.
“I killed them!” Lilly screamed as she collapsed into my arms, all the strength leaving in her emotions.
“What! What are you talking about! Killed who?!”
“I woke up this morning…a…and my grandmother’s house and the neighbours house was burnt down!”
“Well it mightn’t have been you, it could have happened overnight!”
“NO! I was in my grandmother’s house when I woke up. I was staying over night to look after her because she was ill, but I ended up killing her instead! My bed, the kitchen, the garden and everything in the neighbour’s land was burnt down! There isn’t much left and it happened so fast, my gran was burnt instantly…she didn’t even get time to wake up!”
I felt sick in the pit of my stomach…my girlfriend had killed someone she’d loved because of her power just appearing unexpectedly. How long would it be before my powers killed someone I loved or cared for…?
“I…I don’t know what to sa-”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!?” Lilly moaned in my arms, cutting me off.
“Nothing! Look, I have…abilities too, mine appeared just like yours except I was awake and aware of what was happening”
Lilly looked at me, stunned, "yours haven’t killed someone you love before though, has it! My grandmother was the last relative I had, but now she's dead!” Lilly burst into tears.
No...but they have protected me from so many times today, because I can control them, I could try and get you some help if you like...to control them"
"I...I don't know" but as she turned away, a light surrounded me, blocking out all images and, once again, a man appeared before me. He wore a white robe, and had blond, spiky hair with electric blue tips. His left eyebrow and ear were pierced and he looked in his early 20’s.
“I’m starting to get sick of this”
“Haha, this will probably be the last time the Saviours do this. I’ve come to let you know what powers you actually have” the young man laughed.
“How come you guys are always laughing?”
“Haha, because you look ridiculous! You clothes are all ripped and tattered, you’re just in boxers and even they aren’t designer!!!”
I glared at him, “Thanks for that mate…”, so that’s why everyone was giving me weird looks on the bus today; I'd forgotten I was only in my boxers.
He stopped laughing and turned serious, “Anyway, the powers you have are telekinesis, summoning small objects, super speed, the ability to create ice and the power to harness the light around your heart and use it against the darkness”
“…awesome”, I stuttered, not knowing how to react to such information, "oh, and before I go, don't teach Lilly how to control her powers, it could be very dangerous in the wrong hands"
"What do you mean 'in the wrong hands'"
"...I'm not supposed to tell you this, but if I don't we could all be in trouble", he paused for a minute, "your girlfriend, she...she will turn against you...all of us. A Reaper is going to approach her and offer her her greatest wish, and in return she will give him the light around her heart", and with that, the light disappeared as quickly as it had come and Lilly was standing there, head in hands, crying.
I gave her a hug as I pondered over the new information the Saviour had given me. If a Reaper was going to approach her, then I would have to protect her, make sure she never has the chance to speak with it. At that moment Lilly gathered herself and wiped her eyes.
"So...um…do you want to come inside?” seeming to force herself to forget about her grandma, for the time being anyway…












Copywrited [JAC] TM

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SEX IN A BUCKET OF KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!!!!

Ceresz

First of all it would be nice if you could break the text into paragraphs
Second of all I find that the main character went from a grief to being okay with it, or rather blocking it out, a tad too soon. It might just be me, though.

The writing isn't bad, I can tell you that, but I don't typically read these kind of stories so maybe that's why I'm having a hard time getting interested in it. You'll just have to wait for someone with more experience to look over your text.

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"...Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish..."
-Albert Einstein

VengefulDistain

alright thanks...

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SEX IN A BUCKET OF KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!!!!