potatoBell

Hello guys,

Here's the chapter in answer to Maetrix66's post.
Please, feel free to share your thoughts, anything.
Thanks.
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Chapter 31
No Purchases Necessary

Defeating materialism in love


Money can buy sex, but not love.
We all heard it before. You think money is a requirement but she thinks it’s a trait she’s looking for in a man. You think giving her expensive gifts an act of financial superiority but she thinks it’s inferior to one lovely kiss. You think the fancy restaurant is the best choice for romance but she thinks the romance is sitting next to you in a candlelit room. To wage on a battle against the materialism in love, you need to understand what it is that causes her to seem like a ‘material girl’. This means that you need to understand why she wants a name brand for her bag, the reason she likes shopping, money and so forth. Once you see the truth behind her seemingly materialistic ways, you’d realize that it’s not the money she’s really after.

Your wife is not the mirror.
She won’t always reflect the same views as you perceive or reasons the same way as you do. Men’s mirror lies else where. One common myth all men believe is that women are jealous about everything. Well, this is not true and if you take a close look at their mirrors, you will see why. Your wife’s mirror is everything around her, particularly social, geographical environments she’s in. Her mirrors are special, enchanted to show what is missing in her picture. If she sees another women with a Gucci bag, she doesn’t picture herself with it, but rather without it. This is why women get depressed so easily, daily, weekly, monthly… Keep in mind that they get depressed not from jealousy but from the poor or lack of ‘self-images’, some call it self-esteem.

Men’s mirror tend to show what they don’t have magically appear as if they too have them. If a guy see an acclaimed basketball player, he pictures himself with the same ability when in truth, he’s no where close as being athletic. This is why men are stubborn in many ways. They don’t like to admit what they lack and their limitations because of this mirror effects.

Men have the mirror of additions, women, on the other hand, have the mirror of subtractions. You don’t need to be a Yale graduate to understand how these arithmatic work. Isn’t it something we all learned in elementary school? What good is a Harvard Ph.D. when a child can reach the same end of the equation? You already hold the highest degree in love and so does she. Looking for a higher degree to debate her is your own ego trying to prove your male superiority. We’ll talk more about this ‘ego’ in the chapters ahead. As for now, let’s continue on with the mirror effects but before we go on, I want you to take a break for awhile and take a test. Relax, it’s an open book test. Apply the math to the last argument you had with your wife and try to read correctly what the question (the problem) is asking Don’t look for an answer just yet. You won’t find it unless you read it right.

Hope you did it well.
Women tend to subtract causing them to want and want more. This is another reason why women never seem satisfied. More she subtracts, harder you have to work to please her. She won’t stop subtracting. One good way to save yourself from adding and adding to offset the negative accumulation is to slow down her frequency of subtraction. How to go about doing that is totally up to you, but be mindful of its side effects. Never let her stop subtracting for you might dissipate her desires in life and the life without desires is as good as a vehicle with no gas. It’s a must that you don’t stop her.

We have just talked about how the mirror effects of subtraction cause women to be materialistic. We have also talked about how you can slow down the process. We have mainly been focusing on the problem. It’s now time to look for an answer. The question was does the materialism exists in love? The answer is, yes it can exists in love but not necessarily be in love. Confusing? I don’t blame you. Look at it this way. You can let a hatred exists in love but not necessarily let the hate be in your love. The love and the hate are so closely associated together that they’re inseparable. Love and hate are such a strong emotion that you often get confused which is which. Materialism and love are the same way. People say love is all around us. Well, so is money. There must be some kind of a governing law that allows both of them to share the same territories at the same time, and something big as this is beyond human knowledge.

So you know the problem and the way to a possible solution.
It’s now up to you to decide what to do next. You can nod to somewhat incomplete answer and embrace your wife’s materialistic ways, or deny and look for the perfect answer. You can love her shopping sprees and her complaints about her best friend with a new car, or you can put a pause on her feelings and play the time game while you go out to get the perfect answer. This sounds totally off the wall, but imagine your life is like a movie on a video. Isn’t pausing the video for too long bad for your VCR? Some DVD player automatically stops playing in few minutes after you pause it. It’s funny really, if you think about it. I reckon, though it sounds crazy, more modern it is, less time is wasted on waiting. Maybe this is why women in today’s world are quick to get divorced. They hate waiting!

If you’re not sure whether the girl you’re dating is after your money or love, here’s a good study case for you. You probably have seen her. Maybe not in person, but in some form of public media. A women in her twenties getting married to a rich old man who used to be a mentor of her father. God is love so we have the proverb ‘Love conquers all’. The question here is, is it humanly possible? Do we look at the girl in the media who conquered the 50 years gap in age and say that she is a heroin of love? I have not found the truth behind this case but the fact that our hearts are capable of such a heroic act remains probable. Don’t jump to conclusion without considering such a possibility. The love you turned away from might be the truest love in your life.

It’s a tough job.
No doubt about it. Fighting and trying to keep her love as pure as possible. Maybe it will never end. Maybe men were born to fight for this reason alone, not to conquer her. Maybe that’s why some women think men are stupid because we’re fighting the wrong thing for the wrong reason on the wrong field Maybe, men were born to work for this reason night and day. Maybe you were born to work all your life to show her that you had been gathering and picking up every valuable materials in the world like a trash man not to buy a diamond ring to please her, but rather to give what little will be left in the world after all the riches are gone, the love.

In the second part of this book, you will see that a penny spent with the label such as ‘Deposit Slip’ is far worth it than a diamond ring without it. This doesn’t mean you should be cheap. Cheap is good but has a tendency to degrade anything that follows it. So don’t take a cheap shot at your love because if you do, you’re really a cheap guy.