potatoBell

Hello!
Here's the first chapter!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1
Deposit Slip

Knowing the basics of labels



Women come attached with many labels.
Some are visible like ‘Handle With Care’ but some are invisible. One of them is the ‘Deposit Slip’, and if this term gives you a headache or it is something you as men haven’t thought about till now, you have the right book in your hands.

Picture this.
You open up a new savings account to put all your sweat-soaked money in as a retirement. After thirty years, your aching bones tell you it’s time to retire so you visit the bank to withdraw your life savings, your heart undoubtedly filled with a pride of lifetime achievement in anticipation of seeing that big chunk of money. But the bank clerk blinks and gawks at you and says; “Well, sir, I’d like to help you withdraw your life savings but my record shows that this account has been idle for the past thirty years and there hasn’t been any transactions whatsoever except the very first one when you opened up the account. This account should have been closed twenty nine years ago due to an inactivity. I am sorry sir, do you wish to withdraw $100 dollars, your opening balance, and close this account?” If you scream and throw the bank papers in his face, you have just thrown your own divorce papers. This fictional story is the reason why some husband wonder why he doesn’t get the respect as a ‘king of the hill’ he thinks he deserves especially from his wife and from the rest of the families after years of working rear ends off to provide and to put the food on the table. Well, how could they? They haven’t got the slightest clue whose love it was that they had been getting for the past thirty years!

Picture this too.
You shower your wife with all the riches in the world but her heart goes for some guy 500 hundred miles away. Feeling betrayed and angry, you call her a cheater. But here are some points to ponder. How can you blame her when the only love that she knows surely doesn’t look like it’s coming from you? How can you barricade a heart on its only path to love? Heart goes where love is. The best way to keep her from leaving you is to let her know that the love she is getting is not coming from the other side of the world or worldly things in it but from the one who stands inches close to her side. Nothing can be closer than skin-to skin, heart-to heart. Just like the bank needs a deposit slip to know whose money they are safekeeping, women, too, need ‘Deposit Slips’ to know whose love they are getting from. A lack of care and no-use of this label means a sure break-ups.

Women need deposit slips signed by you.
If not, they think it’s fake, just like banks will not accept it unless it’s endorsed. Your wife’s heart is endorsed by you the day you said “I do”. When I think how much precautions I take when I put my name on a legal contract or on some important documents, it’s funny how I never took any when I signed my name across my wife’s heart, and as you have guessed it, I have paid well for it. If I knew she was the most important business in my life back then, I would have read the smallest fine prints, questioned every stipulations of attachment before I endorsed my name on her heart. Some guy gets lucky and learns later on that the best endorsement in his entire life was and would always be the one that remains in his wife. I’m the lucky one at that. Hope you are too.

Women is a bank.
The similarities are mind-boggling. They both demand the proof of your identity, make you wish you could just drive-through on things like shopping. They pressure and require you to meet the minimum balance and remind you at work when it’s low, they’re closed periodically, you have to suck up in order to loan, there’s a night drop but no ‘take-out’ slot, they keep a record of every transaction you make, and most of all, you have no dingidee-dong idea what the heck they do with the money you put in. Sounds bad? The upside to her ‘banking’ is that she gives you an interest. Use the deposit slips to show her that you care for her, love her and she will pay you back the interests like no other banks can. Yeah, sounds good.

There’s one other thing that you must be aware of, her ‘banking’. Your very first signature, the one that you signed on the wedding day, is what her banking system uses as a cross reference for all other future ones. What this mean is that all your signatures must be equal or greater in efforts. Picture signing hundreds of documents. You’d sign your name nicely at first, but after few tens, your signature won’t look the same and you’d sign them on the fly. Then, your wife sees those signatures in scrambles and compares them with the very first one, she notices the differences and gets depressed because she thinks you don’t love her as much as you used to. That’s why it’s important for guys to remember how they treated her in the beginning of their relationship and try to stay on top of it. If you had given her your 100% at first, you’d better push yourself to the limit and go beyond what humanly possible to top the percentage. Given the scores, going from 0 points to 75 is a lot better than going from 100 to 91 points. It’s better to go from nothing to little than to go from many to little. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give 100% and expect her to love you wholeheartedly because no one knows what tomorrow brings and you might never get a chance to show your best. You can save the best for last, but you can’t save the last for the best.

How you use the deposit slips is what distinguishes you from the rest of the guys to her. We have talked previously about what it means to be a special guy. Imagine you’re a business owner. You see the employee chosen out of hundred applicants is so-so on the job so you talk to him/her but the employee blinks at you and say ‘Boss, isn’t me working for you enough? What more jobs do you expect?’ Telling her ‘Isn’t my love enough for you? What more do you want?’ is no different from what the employee had just said. Of course she wants more from you. You were chosen out of the swarm of guys! She doesn’t care about the other fishes in the sea. She is the queen of the bees and you were just a bee number 109876 before she chose you. You are the king of bees now and expected to put on the clothes with grace. Don’t go back to being some numbers on her list. This is the truth in power over all married men. A shift in power comes later but won’t come unless you see this very truth.

The deposit slip is a magician’s tool.
It can turn a penny into a hundred dollar, give birth to a joy and happiness out of nothing at all. Every time a slip is used, her banking system process and stores it in the most safe place, the heart. I have illustrated that the heart is bigger than the earth itself. It’s unlikely that her heart will be filled with them no matter how many thousands of the deposit slips you use. Perhaps, this is why women are never satisfied. So don’t get discouraged trying because your boots will get dirty when you farm the field. Just dust off and try again. Whether her heart is half full or half empty, the purpose of our love does not lie in the end but, perhaps, in the process.

Let her know that you love her.
Do whatever is at your disposal to make her clearly see that you love her. Writing a little ‘I’m taking the love we had last night to work with me’ note and posting it on the refrigerator door before you leave the house won’t take too much of your time. Invest in what’s important. Make a deposit of true riches where it belongs because some where down the road when you get a statement of all your transactions by mail, you will see that every single transaction was approved with kiss.

phurst

Picture this # 1. I didn't even get the point of the example or understand where his money went.
Picture This # - You seem to imply that showering a woman with lavish gifts is not love though I believe we are not often inclined to give gifts to those we don't unless we have money flowing out of our ass. It is true that love is. You can't create it, you can't make someone stop, you can't do anything about it. It is or it isn't so I think that whole section does not explore all of the possibilities.
Women needs deposit slips..: Again, you seem to make assumptions based on your own experiences and not all experiences. It would seem to me that entering into marriage is more important than any contract you would ever sign. I think you need to generalize your 'facts' so as not to assume that all men enter into marriage without thinking.
Woman is a bank: No idea what you are trying to convey. It is convoluted and again, not true in many cases.

Overall, it needs a lot of work, more examples, allowences for thse that have different experiences. There are alos a few grammer and tense problems.

__________________
Any questions? PM me because I may not return to your post again.

Do your part, find a 0 reply post and help them out.

I am what I am and you made me that way.

Maetrix66

I think you should ask your wife what she thinks of this.

See if she agrees with the analogies.

Personally, I think that gifts should be judged by the amount of work it took to attain it. Not just how hard they work to earn the money, though this is important. They also need to see how much effort and thought went into making sure the gift was right for them.

If someone has to save and put in extra work to get their significant other an expensive, thoughtful gift, then they should realize that the shiny trinket isn't the gift they were given, the labor to earn it was.

And can I ask, in all sincerity because the question jumped into my mind as I was reading this, what was your motivation for writing this?

potatoBell

Hello phurst,

I'm not a marriage counselor. But I wanted to write something about the marriage. This led me to decide the best way to approach this book was just simply write what's on my mind. Yes, I did my share of homework as a writer but researching didn't convince me enough to change the way I decided to go.

This book is not standing up at the conference table presenting the 'fact sheets'. It is sitting at the local Starbucks chatting with a friend.
If this book sounds like a text book to be studied rather than be plainly read, then it is one thing I really need to think about. And seeing your response, maybe I did it the wrong way.

And as for the possiblities not fully explored,
I think the task is too vast to tackle but I will work on it.

Thanks alot.

potatoBell

Hello Maetrix66.

I think after reading your response and the first, I think I have a problem painting my thoughts in a written form. I'll post one of the other chapter in answer to your response.

Back then, I believed this book was my ticket to hollywood.
Because at the time,
I believed all these understanding, inspiration, and writing abilities were given to me for a reason. I sought riches in it. I used writing as a tool. I strayed from the one thing that inspired me to write this book.

But now I see a little better, hopefully.

chimchimski

Hello potatoBell...

First, let me say...as a woman who was in a bad marriage for more years than I care to remember, I enjoyed your analogy...from my experience, it was perfect. Hat's off to you for shedding light on a subject many men ignore...

Now...outside of some grammatical errors...I honestly enjoyed reading this. You will learn, I am kinda' an encourager around here, when it comes to giving honest critique. There are some wonderfully gifted grammatical experts who are members and I am sure they will help out where they can...Sam Winchester comes to mind!! He knows his stuff!

Another tightening of this piece by carefully going over and taking notice of those small mistakes will do your first chapter a world of good!

I look forward to reading more!

All the best to you!

__________________
~Robin~


~Chimmy Has A Brand New Bag~