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Well technically its written well. You have a consistent voice and despite some few mistakes(which I've posted below) it was a very readable piece. However from a storytelling point of view, nothing much happens. As a short story their should be some sort of epiphany or resolution weather it be overt or more subtle within the subtext of the story. It would have been cool if say Alarico realized that everything he had he had killed for and this somehow effects him. You know, something along those lines.
as he rubbed her tiny button nose
All of a sudden, Alarico’s mobile phone rang. “Hey, Alarico. It’s Pablo. I’ll meet you at one at the spot.” said familiar voice. -should be a comma after "spot" and not a full stop. Their are other places in the text where you do this.
It was true; Alarico essentially ran the Mexican government- You can replace the semi-colon with a comma.
To Alarico, these murders were as meaningless; just as the death of an ant squashed by the hand of a child-i think you mean to say- [b]To Alarico, these murders were as meaningless as the death of an ant squashed by the hand of a child.
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"KNIVES AND RHYMES"
"poetry or the streets."
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Short story. Englsh assignment. 983words
