WillDunn

Well anyone have an idea wut my title should be???

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Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dieing Cuz' You Only GOt 1 Life

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Ungood

I would go with "Fire Cat" as a "working title" and then once you finish it, develop a title that matches the whole story.

Ungood.

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Greed

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All the great works of the world, known or unknown; Be they bound in leather and scribed on gold leaf or scribbled on a napkin and stowed in some dusty desk drawer, they all started with an idea.

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Greed

Not to tear you down or anything but you have some SERIOUS grammatical errors in there. I would quote you and post them in red but I'd kinda have to repost the whole thing and change it all around, at which point the writing would no longer be yours but a frankenstien-style composite of my own design coupled with your idea. If you are having this much trouble with it i would have an editor or teacher take a look at it and ask them very nicely to correct your mistakes. By the way, I am only 17, age holds no dominion in the literary world.

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All the great works of the world, known or unknown; Be they bound in leather and scribed on gold leaf or scribbled on a napkin and stowed in some dusty desk drawer, they all started with an idea.

http://www.writingforums.com/fiction...pter-only.html

Elipsis

I really think you should change the whole "Mage" thing you have going on. The setting is ancient Japan, not Dungeons & Dragons' Eberon. If anything, he would be a sorcerer or shaman or something like that. Another thing i see being a problem is that you're setting the story in our world's Japan. If you really want to do this, you might want to do a little research before writing anything more about culture, myth, and geography. At the time you're setting it now, they would still be in the stone age. Your story suggests an empire, when even ancient Egypt was only occupied by scattered tribes, and not to mention, there are no signs of any kind of civilization on Japan until 35,000 BC, let alone an empire. If you're dead set on your setting of time, i would suggest a Neanderthal throwing bits of stone instead of a mage slinging spells.
I did notice that you researched the time of the volcano erupting. You get an extra point for that one.

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Sam Winchester

You do know that if you get to the point where your novel is picked up by a publisher, you don't get the final say in what the novel is called, right? The publisher does. So don't fret about what you're going to call it, because the chances are it won't be called that anyway.

Sam.

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HippoHead

this barely registers as a fable. i've never read anything with less description!
describe, dammit.

Shadow Reeves

this is what i was thinking...like a catch 22, cant leave incase its fire gets blown out, and he did say banished, not killed (or was that an edit?)

my only question is, why the hell would people let him rule if they know the fire-cat is going to come back if he does.(how big is this cat by the way? actual size?) why not just say thanks and stab him as he leaves? like the current ruler is going to say to a a complete noob "ok here is the keys to the kingdom, the sewage has some problems at the north end, and dont go down ching-wey alley. well im off to australia... have fun"

but i suppose if this is a comedy then it could work.


this prologue deosnt sound very prologue-ish. i would make the proogue the ledgend of the fire-kitten and start the story with the mage dude.

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why use 1 word when 3 will do the same job? - philosophy of novel writing