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Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male
Posts: 23
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Crime Horror (Intro and Prologue)
This is a story I'm currently working on about a detective who solves things to do with the supernatural (like Jason and Freddy Krueger). I haven't finishe dthe first chapter yet, but this should give you a taster of what the story wil be like. Any comments would be wonderful. Criticism would be nice (constructive of course).
INTRODUCTION
Over the last few decades many monsters of the past have been put to rest. Some had extraordinary abilities, like being able to hurt someone in their dreams. Others are just freaks on nature with amazing strength and an ability to withstand pain. Some of these monsters are very beast like in their appearance. Some look like normal humans, maybe sporting odd clothes like a hockey mask or a striped sweater. There are some monsters which may look like a cross between both. It is, however, almost wrong to refer to these beings as monsters in the old tradition, for many of them have very professional personas and to any normal person these creatures would seem like your average Joe, maybe with a strange addiction. But the term monster is not used to describe their demeanor, nor their appearance. It is used to explain the minds of these creatures. It shows that these beings are not ordinary and generally have a desire to kill. The term monster by definition can mean anything unnatural, or someone that excites horror by wickedness or cruelty. The monsters I have explained to you all express these descriptions in their own individual way. Until recently I was an expert detective for the NYPD but as new cases started flowing in, cases which were unexplainable I decided to evolve my profession. I now deal in anything supernatural, anything which someone might describe as odd. While I still may dabble in helping out normal detectives, my new job has slowly taken over. Every day I faced with more dangers as I meet new monsters, monsters which may be invincible. Even occasionally I’ll find something which is already dead, something which makes me think of new strategies. This job keeps me alert, and makes me exercise my brain - just the way I like it. Some of the things you may find in this book may repulse you; they may give you nightmares or stop you from watching scary movies. I can assure you that it doesn’t get nicer or happier as the book advances, this is no romantic comedy. If you truly are a lover of horror movies, then this is the book for you and if you truly are ready for the excitement then turn the page, turn the page and experience my life. My name is Derek O’Shea and this is my story.
PROLOGUE
Jill stared up at the old sign decorating the abandoned camp site - how cliché. Even with the light of the moon she wasn’t able to make out the name of the camp. It had closed so many years ago, it was a wonder the sign was still hanging. She pushed her way through the smashed-in gate guarding the entrance and made her way down a long cobblestone path which danced between small wooden cabins. She hummed as she walked, in time to her feet pacing on the earth. Surely the papers had over emphasized what had happened here. How was it possible to string a girl up in a tree 25 meters of the ground? Of course, the dry blood which coated many of the cabins was a tell tale sign that something bad had happened. Eventually Jill stopped at the borders of a large lake, the moonlight bouncing of its surface.
“This isn’t so bad…” Jill said to herself as she dipped her big toe into the water which warmed her like nothing else. Jill had been dared to come to the lake at night by one of her friends and being known as one of the bravest girls in school, she was never one to deny a dare. Little by little, she stripped off; “I might as well have a bit of fun while I’m here” she laughed. As she lowered her body into the water she let out a gasp. The temperature had dramatically changed and what moments ago would have been considered a humid autumn day had suddenly turned into a frosty winter’s night. Shivering, she pulled herself back onto the banks of the lake. The sun had sunken hours before, and what only seconds ago was clear and visible in the moonlight was now cloaked in darkness. The moon had been blanketed by the harsh clouds of the sky and Jill couldn’t see her clothes. The small pile should’ve been somewhere near and yet, it had completely disappeared.
“Brrrrrr…” Jill shuddered, as the sky split open. As rain pelted her cold naked body she began to worry.
“Bobby? Sidney? Is that you?” She muttered. Obviously this was just a sick trick one of her friends must have been playing - it reeked of their bad sense of humor.
“Where are you? This isn’t funny any more guys…” She tugged herself out of the water and plodded along the shores of the lake, making sure not to slip as the cold cover of rain ricocheted off her. She shuddered once more, her body turning a ghastly shade of white, and as she received no replies from the friends she was so sure of finding, she began to whimper. To the left of the campsite from which Jill had passed through was a small, dense forest of old willow trees. They drooped to ground where they met with some thick layers of grass. Somewhere within the forest something began to rustle. Tears began to pour down Jill’s face, the salt mixing with the pureness of the rain.
“Wh-Whose there!” She yelled with as much anger in her voice as she could muster. Bursting from the bushes came a large body. It crashed into Jill and knocked her to the ground. As cackles began to emerge from the bent over shape, the full moon emerged from the careless clouds and Jill managed to make out the face of her would be attacker - her boyfriend.
“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” He laughed at the non impressed form of Jill before bending over and helping her up. He then proceeded to once more giggle at her naked figure.
“You’re such an ass!” She shouted into the night. “What were you doing in those bushes anyway you pervert!” Her boyfriend, David was a strong stereotypical jock, embodying the school jersey and coated with a large smile. He looked at her angry face and continued to smile.
“I came to support you in your hour of need,” he began, “I couldn’t have you wandering around some dangerous campsite without a guard, there are some dodgy characters around these parts.” David looked around suspiciously before tuning to look at the face of his weakening girlfriend.
“Speak for yourself…” Jill muttered as the rain continued to streak down her face. Slowly, she leant up and gave David a kiss on his cheek.
“So, what did you do with my clothes?” She asked. David looked around awkwardly before replying, “I didn’t touch them.” With the rain lashing down on her Jill realized how tired she really was and that she wasn’t willing to take any crap from her cocky boyfriend.
“Seriously, where are they” She said one more time. Jill could tell by the look on David’s face that he didn’t have them. It was a mixture of anger and confusion as he began to yell.
“Damn it Jill, I came here to help you out, I didn’t realize you were going to be such a bitch!” Turning, he stalked away angrily, stomping his feet on the ground in tune with the rain.
“If he doesn’t have them… Who does?” Jill thought to herself. With one last look around, she dashed away after her moody boyfriend.
“Wait up Dave would you!? I’m sorry I didn’t believe you!” She and David had had these sorts of fights before, always about stupid things. It was a trust thing she and him had been working on a lot, all, due to one time when he had cheated on her, which meant that her lack of trust had good reasoning. She continued to run towards the hulking form of the senior high quarter-back. To a football player David would’ve been big, to anyone like Jill, he was a towering giant. He slowly turned to glare at her.
“We had been going fine until tonight! Hadn’t we?” He said matter-of-factly. Jill stared up at his hollow face. She couldn’t bear to mutter the truth, there were some things better off left unsaid after all. She knew indefinitely that ‘things’ hadn’t been going fine, at least not in her life.
“Can’t you just take me home?” Jill asked in a pleading voice. She was still wet and cold, the thick blanket of rain had seen to that. Slowly, David’s eyes softened as he stared down at the girl for which he would his heart out for. As Jill looked up at him he bent over to kiss her, softly at first before moving into a passionate grip. As the two teenagers lips parted, Jill couldn’t help but glance into her boyfriend’s dark blue, almost black eyes, and into, what she considered his soul. What she could normally make out wasn’t there. She was used to seeing a glow spraying from his insides, overflowing into her, a glow which she knew brought out the best in her. This glow however was no where to be seen. Slowly, David began to back away from her, a look of shock cloaking his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but he could not utter a single word.
“Be-Behind you!” He finally managed to make out. Jill turned away from her lover to once again face the cool lake, and rising out of its depths was a man. While Jill thought of David as somewhat of a giant, he in no way compared to figure trenching out of the blue. The raggedy clothes decorating his body were torn, and peeling away. Jill’s eyes rose to stare into his cold eyes which were hard to see as the beings face was covered in a crudely molded hockey mask.
“Ji-Jill! Run!” David suddenly yelled. She sprung into action, turning to face her terrified boyfriend. Terrified, they both ran back towards the camp gates. With awe, they both glanced up at the once smashed down gates of the complex, now fully working, towering above them and bolted shut.
“What the…” They muttered in unison as they turned to face the man coming out of the lake. His legs were now fully visible, displaying deep red scars. David reached out to grab Jill’s hand.
“This way!” He cried as he pulled her into the grazing of trees. They ran into the forest surrounding the campsite, watching as the man began to walk towards them. In his hand was a sharp machete, coated in dark blood. Jill and David were soon swallowed by the blackness of the woods. After climbing over fallen tree trunks and broken branches, it was inevitable that one of the teens would trip. With a cry, Jill lost her footing as she tumbled down bank into a murky creek.
“Help me!” She called to David as he looked down on her with a startled expression. He turned to face the direction from where hey had come and then let out a muffled sob.
“I-I’m sorry!” He cried as he turned to run. Jill gazed up at the spot where her boyfriend had once stood, the boyfriend whom she had so earnestly loved. She let out a yell of anguish as she pulled herself out of the foul bog. As she turned to look up at the point from where she fell, she saw the body of the masked man walk past her, after David. With a moan she turned and dragged her way back towards the campsite.
* * *
Jill ended up on the verge of the once inviting lake, running through the sand coating the shores. She was desperate to get back to her car. She finally managed to make her way up to the newly crafted gate and slowly scrambled over. Jill silently thanked her mother for forcing her into the school athletics team. With a resounding thump she fell to the cobbled road. It was a long stretch, mainly deserted due to the closure of the camp. She slowly rose off the ground and ran down the dark road to her old second hand car. As Jill went to reach into her pockets she swore aloud.
“Shit!” She cried as she turned to once again face the abandoned camp. She had left her keys in her jean pockets, the very jeans which were now lost in the night. Jill looked around and began to cry. Heavy sobs escaped her body, sobs which she had been enclosing inside herself, not wanting anyone to know the pain she was going through. All this time, pressure had slowly been eating away at her insides. Her parents had viewed her as their perfect girl, intelligent, sporty and friendly.
“What kind of intelligent person would be standing drenched and naked outside their locked car after being chased by a maniac with a machete...?” She half laughed to herself. Jill realized that she would have to go find her keys, or suffer the consequences of walking home. With a mutter of annoyance and a gulp of sorrow she began to walk towards the darkness of the campsite, the darkness which had been concealing the murderous beast.
* * *
The stones beneath Jill’s feet pierced her skin, yet she didn’t acknowledge the pain. In fact, it filled her with a sense of spiritual reassurance - she was still alive. Once more, Jill came to gate of the old campsite. She was too tired to even consider climbing it. All of the last hour’s efforts, which had been pushed aside by adrenalin, had sharply drained her remaining energy. As the gate erupted in splinters of wood, she wasn’t even able to scream. From out of the shadows lurched the brawn hockey masked demon. With an inhuman strength it plunged the sleek machete into Jill’s stomach and gazed with awe as blood began pouring out. Jill peered down at the hunk of sharpened metal which had smashed through her skin. It almost came as relief, relief that she wouldn’t need to endure the future pains. She let out a maniacal laugh as the blade inside her not only ebbed away at her small remaining life force, but at the child’s of which she was bearing within.
Thanks for reading!
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