Darktrue

((This is a story that belongs to a friend. She says that it's new so please read and comment.))

PART 1

There all around us, colorful, flightily majestic insects that people will capture and kill just for display. Some for study purposes, others décor but only one place considers these wing beauties of the skies a cure. Forgot the flowers they pollinate it’s often what they drink can be used to cure a humans illness. Who knew that there is a Haven world which all butterflies go back to like a permanent home with people who will not harm them all.

Once darkness comes they disappear, until the new day is alive they return like magic. But such a place hasn’t been discovered by any human being outside. Though it is has been prophesized that at least new pure hearted souls were taken exclusively to the Haven world as the world that the other spirited beings live upon until there is room higher above.

Even the Haven was a safe place with no rival evil to the compound its peaceful walls, until now….

Earth 2010

Screeccccccccccccccchhhhhhhh Booom a car loose its way on the highway and collides with the wall, the occupants inside crushed like fragile rice paper in a hand. Amongst them a young girl and mother both seriously injured yet the father was conscious enough to make a 991 call to the nearest hospital.

The phone rang and soon a voice came in. “District hospital, you requiring assistance?” the woman said as the man struggled to keep himself from breaking down. Fear and panicky were racking him as his loved ones bled and lay motionless. “Yes dire emergency, car crash on FF1 please hurry my wife and child are dying” he yelled into the phone his hands shook. He knew his wife should never drive the car.

Being in constant arguments, his wife Melinda and his only child Grace were in the peril of a divorce. Grace being the innocent ball bouncing in between their bitter feud they have. Melinda was an alcoholic and had insisted on driving home in a state of intoxication risking both him and Grace’s life. As a couple of cars had stopped, occupants came out to see if anyone was alive. Soon the police pulled over and started to redirect traffic the ambulance came in tow.

Even a fire truck, the man watched as he signaled that he was alive and needed his loved ones out of the car fast. It was from there everything fell in normality. Grace had no idea what had happened at all, she couldn’t wake up just heard muffles of noises as she felt suddenly being lifted and carried away.

No one seemed to notice the odd colored butterflies that hovered around the car and soon fled into the night sky. No mere butterfly would be awake at such an hour, yet these weren’t normal. Though that wasn’t what people focused on, most pretty much assume a moth.

Grace still lay unconscious, her mother along side and her father were being comforted by a nurse, and they made it to the hospital as her father was separated and his child and wife pulled away from him all he could do is wait and see what happens.

Several hours went by and the doctor came out and went over to Grace’s father
“Mr Hugh, your wife is stable condition, yet your daughter didn’t make it” his voice dripped of despair, a doctor can’t save everyone only the ones that were lucky to keep fighting long after the damage is done. “My child meant the world to me, my happiness I wanted her to live” he cried at the doctor getting hysterical. He made a grab at the doctor only to have two nurses hold him back.

“Calm down Mr. Hughs, or we might have to escort you out of here” the doctor said as he watch the distress man wriggle about in the nurses grips. Soon he subsided and sat back down again. “I want to see my daughter” he croaked through his hands that were against his face. As that played out Grace’s body remained in the hospital bed, under the sheets this beautiful girl laid peacefully her mind was soon taken away to a place beyond the rambles and riff raff of the human world.

But what else lay on her was a butterfly, it wasn’t one that was there before it emerged from some place and gathered the girl who he or she was chosen to gather. The Haven needed a child; one that had died yet with the power of to reform into a living being that is superior to serve the Haven world.


The Haven

“Welcome to the Haven, Miss Grace. Nice to see your awake” Grace had awoken in what looked like a hospital yet so much colour was around. Everything had something butterfly related and she gazed into the eyes of a man. Middle age, pitch black hair, blue eyes and a tie much like a butterfly wings. His voice was kind and wispy tone and he seemed to worn a lot of white. Grace blinks her eyes as she woke up fully.

“Where am I?” she asked her voice was slightly tired and worn cause she hasn’t recovered from all the screaming she probably had done between her folks. Either that or her neck sustains injury. “We chosen well, she is pure and we need her to recover ASAP” a nurse said as she came into view from behind the doctor. She was so beautiful, like the doctor her dress seemed to adore wings and colors of a butterfly.

Grace caught a hold of the nurses sentence she seemed eager for her to do something. The doctor soon placed a hand on the nurse and turned her away “Calm down, Jocelyn the great one doesn’t expect miracles “he whispered his tone seemed rough as the nurse nodded, Grace watched the pair and looked around the place. She seemed to be the only patient in this strange hospital.

Remarkably it was sparse in color, the walls were white, and the beds were cold aluminum and the only colors that seemed to exist was on the nurse and doctors clothes and herself.

omginternetlord

What?

No main verb in the sentence.

Necromortis

^I think the sentence is supposed to be 'They were all around us...'

I'll read this in a bit, I've got a few things to do. Come back with a comment sometime soon.

~Christian

omginternetlord

Unfortunately since this is her "friend" posting it we'll never find out.

Faith9

I like it.

__________________
Currently Writing: Lost Guns
This will not be on here cause im writing it using pen and paper

Darktrue

She says: Oh

maybe they are all around us might sound better XD sorry

Darktrue

PART 2

The doctor soon came back to Grace “I’m sorry that my nurse seemed rude. You will soon understand why you been brought here. I’m doctor Papillion, this is my nurse Jocelyn” he offered his hand and Grace was reluctant to accept a hand shake.

“It’s alright, Grace we will take good care of you. Until you’re ready to get out of bed ill be working in the next room” the doctor added as he was about to leave Grace spoke “ I don’t know where I am, or who are you people. What’s with the butterflies?” so many questions in one go the doctor smiled and told his nurse to tend to what he was working on. “Well Grace you have the right to know, I’ll fetch a wheel chair if your that eager to see what’s outside” Papillion said as he left her bed side and went over to a door.

He reached inside and pulled out an unusual looking wheel chair. It wasn’t so modern yet rather odd looking in design. “This room was designed to not overwhelm new comers. Once you outside this room and building you will see the most amazing world that only your mind can create. It is real as you wish it to be” he wheeled the chair over to the bed side. Grace climbed out and sat down. The doctor placed a blanket around her. Struggling to make sense of what is truly happening.

“This room was deliberately designed to be as plain” Grace muttered as she was soon pushed out of the dank room into the hall way. It was the same as the room everything seemed to white, chrome or steel so sterile looking. The nurse watched as the doctor wheeled her out towards the door. Her breath held back excitement as she left her post and followed as they soon reached the door that lead out into the Haven.

“Doctor, I thought you said she wasn’t ready” she questioned as the doctor smirked “ I’m sorry about before, but the inquisitive mind requires answers” as he pushed the door open a flood of color and light burst in almost blinding Grace. Covering her eyes, it was too bright that she was seeing color spots in front of her. The nurse and doctor left the building into the sun light. Or was it sunlight? After blinking a lot everything came into focus.

Color so much of it and people, houses that seem like giant mushrooms and flowers. Not to mention butterflies everywhere, some where bigger than others. Everyone and everything seemed to mesh so well it’s hard for Grace to believe. “This is the Haven, a world in which god created for the rest of the souls that exist in. We were all designed to be a peaceful race and if we ever wish to leave this place we take form of a butterfly and travel with care” The doctor recited as he wheeled Grace down the street.

“Jocelyn please return to the hospital” he stated to the nurse as she sighed and walked away. Having to miss out on being with the chosen one was bringing her down even more so her fascination for the doctor himself. It wasn’t like doctor Papillion was the only medical practitioner in the Haven, he was acclaimed the best. With his desirable looks and warm heart, it was at time she could seem him step out of his happiness.
Grace kept looking around in awe as the doctor kept rolling her along. Many of the folk stopped to look as they went pass. “So everyone lives here, why the butterflies it seems too surreal for me to believe anything” as the doctor sighed silently to himself. A couple of kids went by them it was then one of them paused and glared at Grace and then came right up to her. Grace was surprised herself to see what may have been her brother, one that didn’t make it and she never had a chance to meet him until now.

“You look familiar to me” the boy said as Grace noted his outfit. The hair without a doubt same color as her own, pearl blonde with bright blue eyes and the smile that her mother always had. “Had visited you sister, man you grown up now your here we can spend much more time together” he said as Grace was gasped by it all. “Now, now Tim Hughs, your sister is important to us” Papillion spoke as the boy frowned “You said that when you got me. You kept me isolated yet I wasn’t what you wanted at all” with an angry kick of his foot.

Grace had no clue until something else occurred. An abrupt pause in silence and then a violent rumble noise. The light flickered everyone went crazy as the doctor spun the wheel chair around and rushed back towards the hospital. Grace held on tight as they ran back into the white place and the door fastens closed. The doctor panted as he slumped into a chair. Grace was more confused than ever “That was close, I’m sorry your brother is very irritable” he smiled between pants.

Grace stood up in the chair “Why did he say you chose him and he wasn’t what you wanted? This isn’t making any sense” she stammered with anger. Nurse Jocelyn saw the pair returned utter fear she saw she was glad she remained inside. “It happened didn’t that evil is trying to break in” she cried in panic as the doctor climbed out of his chair and held her close. “It wasn’t major, it flickered the light but we are okayhe comforted her.

“I’m sorry I’ll get back to curing those cloudless sulfurs you wanted” Jocelyn soon let the doctor go and looked down at the ground. “We will need them and the Catalina orange tips for those cancer victims, anything to keep the number of people down” as the nurse headed away from him and Grace. The doctor turned and faced Grace who stood out of her chair and at the doctor’s feet. With a quirky smile that diminished he was waiting for her to speak.

“What is going on here?” she spoke softly and yet it had a small ounce of impatience’s in her voice. The doctor offered her his hand “This world, is in danger. There is a lot more to us these creatures are much more than pretty insects that people imprison in nets and mounted onto walls or dissected in science projects. They have a deeper purpose” he walked Grace down the hall and through some doors into a vast room filled with bottles, vials, boxes, jars and instruments and a vast collection of potted flowers.

“I and Nurse Jocelyn and a small team of medical staff study and create medicines from these insects. Each insect carries a different cure. Believe it or not every country in the human world has different breeds of butterflies clematises and feed differently. It’s here alone we can create and even spare people in the human world from death” that last world got Grace by surprise. If they could have saved her why didn’t they? If she lived then she would have to put up with her mother and father’s divorce. “This is all overwhelming and yes its real, we didn’t save you we need you to become our new hero” with that his voice had hope in it as he placed a firm hand on Grace’s shoulder.

Forgotten Abyss

Interesting start, this story reminds me of a movie called Dragonfly. It will be interesting where you take it, but here I found a few things odd.

There does not fit very well with the sentence, maybe change it to 'They' and add 'were' after it.

This word does not fit. Change it, perhaps, to 'panic'. Also I dont like the work 'racking' for this sentence, but it could work.

There should be a coma after 'phone'.

'have' should came after 'should', and 'drive' maybe should be changed too 'drived' or 'droven'.

Thats about all I can see for now, but keep on writing!

__________________
Lost Odyssey, Xbox 360:
Jansen: "What? We gotta cross the mountain? Your kidding there isn't even a road!"
Seth: "Your in trouble if you wear out this easily..."
Jansen: "WELL I DON'T WEAR OUT IN BED!"

Faith9

Part two was kinda confusing...

__________________
Currently Writing: Lost Guns
This will not be on here cause im writing it using pen and paper

Darktrue

PART 3

Grace was really feeling less convinced than before, what is she fell into coma and her mind is running wildly, it all feels real which scared her even more. She backed away her nerves tensing “ I want to wake up, please I’m sorry, sorry” she cried as she ran out of the room and through the doors “Get me a needle of the mimic sulfurs” Papillion demanded as nurse Jocelyn handed him the needle and ran after Grace, “Don’t this to her” she cried as she ran after him.

Grace ran all the way back into the room she was with climbed back into the bed and buried herself under the covers. The doctor soon came in and the nurse followed in tow
“Don’t do this doctor, she is just scared” Jocelyn cried as the doctor tried to pull the covers off, “Grace we aren’t going to hurt you. We want you to calm down and soon you will understand your true purpose in this world” he tugged at the blanket Grace kept a firm grip “Go away, I want to go home” she cried in sobbing bursts she wanted it to all go away and yet her grip weakened and soon the blanket came away in a quick pull.

Grace then tried to get of the bed yet the doctor grabbed her arm and jabbed the needle into it. Grace started to feel very funny, the Mimic Sulfur was sedating her into a calmer state as the doctor soon with drew the needle Grace flopped down on the bed again. Mimic sulfur was a all white butterfly almost like a moth yet it was breed to be a sedative to calm people down and make them less stressed. Nurse Jocelyn went over to the doctor and looked at the sleeping girl.

“We could have been in real danger, I’m sorry but she needed it. Until the great one is ready. I know our time is slipping by” Doctor Papillion said as they left the room leaving Grace asleep.


Several hours later

Grace awoken and she weren’t alone again in the room, a rather tall elegant man and woman. They were brightly dressed regal looking outfits all butterfly wigs and designs compare to the doctor and nurse she knows they were vastly older and different. “Your highness she been a little stressed I’m sorry she wasn’t ready for facing you” Doctor Papillion quirked in a scared voice.

The man turned to the doctor “At least now we have a chance to see her, and yes she is like her brother yet she is the one” the man said his voice seemed to slightly shrill British tone. “Yes yes, shall we leave you alone” the doctor stammered as he bowed repeatedly the man nodded as he did a hand gesture to leave the room and so the doctor and nurse did. Grace was wide eyed again and yet docile “I understand your Grace Hughs, your just died and brought here by my son specifically on his choice to accompany him on a quest no one has bared to taken” the man spoke as he sat down in a chair next to the bed. “Quest may I at least know who you are?” she questioned the man as he smiled “I am the Great One, the over all care taker of the Haven. This is my wife Latrice” the woman bowed, both Latrice and Great one were dressed differently.Different butterflies make up their outfits, everyone seemed to have a different color, pattern and style yet they must have the most beautiful kinds out of the entire Haven.

It was also then Latrice turned to see a young boy come towards her “I’m sorry I have came rather late. I’m here now where is she?” the boy had red hair, aqua eyes and clothes that had been worn a lot, the brown tones, meshing with the black he seemed dirty compare to Latrice and Great One. “I can’t believe you came over here in your battle clothes, I should send you home and have a bath right now” Latrice said as the boy step around to the other side of the bed. He looked at Grace and smiled it was then the Great one reached over the bed and grabbed the boys arm.

“Grace I like you to meet our son, who must been outside the Haven seeing if everything is clear. Decklin” the boy shrugged his father’s arm off. “It’s all clear outside, the light needed to be fixed. Though evil is creeping up” Deckling spoke similar tone to his father. Outside the door Dr Papillion and Jocelyn watched as the royal ones spoke to Grace. “That son of there is quiet brave; I hope this girl can wield the net. Unlike her brother” Jocelyn whispered into the doctor’s ear.

The Haven had an enemy one of which is stealing victims, butterflies and replicating them into dangerous inflectional creatures. They are often sent out into the real world and cause havoc, the more and more attacks the more souls that go to the War Lord of the Blackflies. Decklin had been the only one who has determination to take on something so big that it could kill him. Not to mention break the pure creation of the Haven’s existence.

Yet even the human world is falling apart due to humans taking every source of livable necessity until there is nothing left. Even then the Sun would die and the universe destroyed. By then the Haven would be over flood with the mountains of souls that they are plucking and saving away. Though the Haven itself; is a prison, in a rather artificial world, without a real sun yet several lights that shine down upon them.

“I’m glad to hear that the light is holding up, yet how close is the War Lord to us?” his mother asked as Grace just could listen to them talk. The Great One ceases the conversation “Grace if Dr Papillion hasn’t told you already, our world is in danger of being destroyed. We need you to go with my son Decklin out back into the human world and the inner world that encases the Haven. Do you feel fit to take this quest” he asked at least Grace thought it was nice that he did.

She didn’t seem to have much choice; she had passed onto this world whatever this world is. “We can send you back, and then everything here will be lost. Once your human planet goes this will die too. Yet the human’s already dying and being collected by the War Lord” the Great One spoke as stood up his clothes wisp ling against each other.
“The doctor had told me what is happening, I don’t see how I could stop such as enormous problem” Grace recited as the man looked doubtful and stern. “You must, or your soul and everyone else here will be oblivious to the world and the world beyond it. The butterflies perform the miracles that sometimes save peoples lives” he said as Grace climbed out of bed onto the floor. “I then accept, I will help, because such beautiful creatures I had no idea that this really exists” Grace said reluctantly.

The Great One smiled again his hope was close to flickering away “Good then will take you to our palace from there, you will informed and handed the N.E.T you will capture and use upon the Blackflies. Also you will be required to release the War Lord pure soul that is trapped inside a jar” The great one continued on and on as the four of them left the hospital and back out into the light.

Dr Papillion watched them leave and gripped hand into a fist, he was hoping to keep her here longer, Grace with holds something he wanted to harness from. Silver soul butterfly lives inside her; in fact Grace wears the small charm in her necklace that was proof enough for him. “I will get it from you, you will have no idea what you’re now doing” he said to himself as Jocelyn had left his side and went about doing her job.

Outside the Haven

Far, far from the Haven the parallel rival world, polluted and inhabited by the Blackflies, souls that the War Lord was lucky to gather. The War Lord was once a human, one that was full of greed and power yet he had preserved a rare butterfly in his possession, though he did have a change of heart briefly before the evil banished his good soul into a jar and the rest was meshed into the butterfly that returned to life and engulfed him whole.

It was believed that when his house keeper saw him slumped in his chair the butterfly that was dead was resting was feeding off him. It fluttered a bit and then disappeared from house before the house keeper rushed over to see it leave and the remains of the owner fall into a pile of dust. Ever since then the man was the War Lord, the biggest butterfly demon like creature. It was like if the heaven existed then hell did the opposite.

The War Lord had been bent on destroying the Haven, harnessing the silver butterfly soul and all the medicine they create, he had to prevent them from stopping people from dying and coming over. They were preventing natural cycle from happening. As the War Lord sat in his chair his minions coming back and forth, an honorable servant Glintove scurried in with some delight to his step. This abrupt the War Lord from his thoughts.
“The silver butterfly is here, we just received word from the Haven. Finally we can destroy them” he chuckled as the War Lord wasn’t amused.

Glintove suffer from short term memory and ends up deliberately coming back and forth several times before the War Lord couldn’t tolerate it. It was the last straw as the War Lord hand grabbed the small servant and squeezed him “You told me for the last winged nour the same news stop it” he shook the being until he let go dropping the servant onto the hard ground.

(Winged nour = 1 Hour in their world)

Glintove got up and was much shaken now as he processed what was said “Our planted spy had seen her briefly before the flicker of the light. Now she in company of royal family” he said rubbing his head. He fixed his bent antennas and bowed repeatedly as the War Lord watched him scurry away again. With a gruffly sigh he returned to his contemplating. It was from there he left his chair and venture down into the deeper parts of his lair, where he arrived at the heart of his kingdom.

Millions of tiny eggs growing intensively and nour by nour a new winged minion emerges from its eggs and then is briefed by War Lords land minions, butterflies that can’t fly due to defects call those Landflies while the ones that do fly are the Blackflies.
The butter word was never ever used in their world, it was only used in the Haven where the true butterflies lived, yet their time will come to an end and then the War Lord will harness everything from those peaceful beings.

“Oh War Lord, we are having great progress, we are getting on top of the Haven collecting of souls” Dingin a landfly worker also head of the incubating sector. Stroking his chin, around his neck he wore his pure soul that can never escape without him allowing it too. It was being drained very slowly, it also the source of his speech, movement and thoughts. It was like an outside heart for the War Lord to survive on.
“We must keep finding more and more, we should out number them soon” the War lord said as Dingin smiled devilishly.

Darktrue

PART 4

The Haven

Grace had followed the royal family into a magnificent palace that overlooked the entire Haven. From up there she could see everything, and it was like a giant butterfly house. So many flowers different kinds grew in different parts amongst the green foliage below the people were like small insects, Decklin watched her “Beautiful isn’t it. Its much better than what is outside here” he said as he approached her.

He admires Grace’s features yet he could tell that the doctor must have given her to make her calm. He remembered seeing so many new souls freaking out some wanted to go back others fled the Haven and never came back. How could a place of peace drive people insane? Then again he came here with his family and found it a comfort from the real world.

The palace alone besides the hospital had colour within and out. The hospital seemed to lack it due to being too much for new souls to the land. Though there had to be another reason why. Grace turned to see the young prince by her side “It’s like we are trapped inside a giant sub environment inside a hot house” Grace said as the Prince leant against the window frame. “Don’t see it that way Grace, see it as a better place where we can live in peace” he said as Grace step away from the window. “I seen you changed your clothes” noting that he looked my more like his parents and less like a dirty peasant. Though he worn the colours of a Blue Morpho, mostly blue and black it really emphasized on his eyes and his hazel colour hair.

“Do you like, I’m much rather wear my scruffy warrior clothes even when I got outside the Haven” Decklin said as the door opened to the room they were in. One of the maids came in with a outfit for Grace and another carrying a tray of tea, the tea cups were shaped like flowers and the tea pot seemed to be woven from leaves it some how the tea didn’t leak. “Master Decklin we have your tea you request, and clothes for the chosen one” one of the maids said as they placed the tea tray down on a table and the garment on the bed.

“That be all, you may leave” Decklin said as the two maids bowed and left them alone again. Grace went over to the bed and saw the wonderfully colour outfit. Compare to the plain white night gown she worn. “I trust you will wear it, if not I think you look fine the way you are” he complimented as Grace pick up the dress. “I feel much like a character in a story, on which reminded me of this place” she said to herself that caught Decklin’s ears.

“Story… there’s a story about this?” he quirked as Grace nodded. It was during a time in which her mother and father weren’t fighting. Apparently her mother had met the author and had the book personally addressed to Grace. The story was about young girl who stumbled into a world in which was in peril to doom, and she was given the task to save it. Not alone but with the help of a young hero. It all seemed to fallen into place, could she be in a deep sleep? Was her mind creating something for her to seek solitude?

It was then the door opened again and the Great One and Latrice entered “Decklin we need you to go now, we have the gateway cleared. I’m sorry this seems sudden but we must try and get ahead start” the Great One said as grace put the garment down on the bed again. Latrice went over to Grace and placed a hand on her shoulder in the other she carried what look like a staff with a connected loop. “Do not let this leave your hand, it’s a N.E.T it will allow you to capture the Blackflies, the net is invisible to your eye right now yet once a Blackfly is capture it will glow a weave net and kill it easily” Grace took the weapon from Latrice’s hand.

“Thank you, I will try my best to save your kind” Grace said confidently, if this was like the story she read then she should know how it plays out. “ We must go, the gateway if its clear, it could close and we could be lost between worlds, even the world between us and the evil can be deadly” Decklin informed as Grace was feeling her fear creep up again.

darbycrash

I re-posted your first part - I'll leave a few comments on it.


They were all around us, colorful, flightily- you can't use flight as an adverb here. majestic insects that people will capture and kill just for display. Some for study purposes, others décor but only one place considers these wing beauties of the skies a cure. Forgot Did you mean forget? the flowers they pollinate it’s often what they drink that can be used to cure a human illness. Who knew that there is a Haven world which all butterflies go back to like a permanent home with people who will not harm them all. I don't understand the second part of the sentence, do they live with people?

Once darkness comes they disappear, until the new day is alive they return like magic. But such a place hasn’t been discovered by any human being outside.you can take out "outside" Though it is has been prophesized that at least new pure hearted souls were taken exclusively to the Haven world as the world that the other spirited beings live upon until there is room higher above. This sentence is too long, it should be divided into two sentences and it would be easier to understand.

Even the Haven was a safe place with no rival evil to the compound its peaceful walls, until now.

Earth 2010

Screeccccccccccccccchhhhhhhh Booom you can lose to sound effects a car loose I think you meant loses its way on the highway and collides with the wall, the occupants inside are crushed like fragile rice paper in a hand. Amongst them a young girl and mother both seriously injured yet the father was conscious enough to make a 991 911-this is an important number to know lol call to the nearest hospital.

The phone rang and soon a voice came in. “District hospital, are you requiring assistance?” the woman said as the man struggled to keep himself from breaking down. Fear and panicky panic were racking him as his loved ones bled and lay motionless. “Yes dire you don't need to say dire emergency, car crash on FF1 please hurry my wife and child are dying” he yelled into the phone his hands shook. He knew his wife should never drive the car.

Being in constant arguments, his wife Melinda and his only child Grace were in the peril of a divorce. Here is sounds like Melinda and Grace are fighting and in the middle of a divorce-rephrase it. Grace being the innocent ball bouncing in between their bitter feud they have Get rid of "they have" at the end. Melinda was an alcoholic and had insisted on driving home in a state of intoxication risking both him and Grace’s life. Ok, why would he let his wife drive if she was drunk. Even if she insisted, it's not a good enough reason. There has to be a darn good reason to let the drunk person drive. As a couple of cars had stopped, occupants came out to see if anyone was alive. Soon the police pulled over and started to redirect traffic the ambulance came in tow.

Even a fire truck,I don't understand why this sentence starts with "Even a fire truck" it makes no sense. And here is where I stopped reading. It lookslike you have a great idea, you just need to do some editing and rewritting.

Good luck!