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Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Gender: Private
Posts: 10
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It's quite randomly chapter 14 - please critque!
Hi, I know that what follows is chapter 14 so you won't have much clue about what's gone before it. I can only apologise and, by way of an excuse, tell you that I'm an idiot. Just to catch you up, both characters are housemates and teach at the same school. They're both gay but they're not a couple. Dave is the central protagonist; he's a lot more serious than Will and he's teetotal - just letting you know so the virgin cosmopolitains made sense!! I do intend to post in chapter order eventually but at the mo I'm re-working this chapter (this is just the first bit of it) so any feedback would be super-duper. Also, I'm just warning you that they mention sex in this excerpt but no one goes into detail and definitely no one is physically having it! There might be the odd swear word too. Thanks.
Fourteen – The Past Re-visited
Dave flopped on to the couch. Usually Fridays were his favourite days since he only had to take two classes all day then he had the weekend off. Today, however, had not been a good day. Joan Dawson had phoned in sick and Dave had been forced to take her two classes, which, by some ill twist of fate, had slotted into his free periods perfectly. He had been planning to crack on with marking year nine’s exams during his free time so now he’d have to waste his bank holiday weekend on them. To make matters worse, Will had made him drive home despite them coming to school in Will’s car. Dave hated driving the Volvo, it was far too big and clunky, but Will had claimed his accelerator ankle was clicking painfully so he couldn’t drive. They were meant to take it in turns driving to work but somehow Dave always ended up doing the majority of the driving.
Will sauntered into the living room, a cocktail in each hand. He placed them on the coffee table and gave his housemate a cheesy grin, "two Cosmopolitans, virgin of course for you Mr Granger. It’ll help us relax, get into the spirit of the weekend, hey?"
Dave watched Will do a quick salsa around the table and plonk into the chair, "ankle feeling better Will?"
For a moment Will wasn’t sure what he was talking about then he remembered his fictitious clicking ankle, "oh that, yeah, it’s fine now."
"Miraculous!" Dave deadpanned and kicked off his shoes.
Oblivious to Dave’s sarcasm, Will took a long drink of his cocktail, "why don’t we go down Canal Street tonight Davie-boy? We haven’t been further than the local together since our hols, and, as of yesterday, it’s officially May so let’s celebrate summer a little early this year."
"I’d better not Will," Dave took a tentative sip of his drink, found it to be fairly pleasant then added, "I’ve got a tonne of marking to do and I’m shattered – I slept terribly last night. That bloody dog that’s staying with the couple two doors down was barking until the early hours again. I’ll be glad when its owners come back and take it home."
"Don’t be such a Dolly Dullpants! You should go out more, you could do with cheering up."
"Is that right?"
"Yes it is. Do you know what you need Granger, you miserable bastard?" Will grinned wickedly. "More sex!"
"Thanks for that diagnosis, Dr Will."
"No, really," Will brushed off Dave’s sarcasm. "It’d put the smile right back on your face. You’ve had no bedroom action since Rio so you should get ready, come out with me, and find yourself a good looking chap to give you a damn good seeing to!"
"You know one night stands make me uncomfortable Will."
"No, they make you feel guilty. That’s different. You seem to have this inability to turn round in the morning and say ‘thank-you for a lovely evening, goodbye!’ "
"Well, I don’t want people to think I used them."
"Don’t you see Davie-boy, some people are okay with being used," Will moved onto the couch and slung his arm around Dave’s shoulders. "Besides, even if the guys you pick do end up feeling used, let’s face it – God made you pretty enough to get away with it!"
Dave shot Will an exasperated look. Once he got started, Will was like a dog with a bone, he’d just keep on at Dave until he wore him down, "so what do you say Dave, are we going out tonight then?"
"No. You only want me to come out because I’ll drive and it’ll save you the taxi fare."
"I’m cut to the quick," Will feigned indignation. "I’m suggesting this for your own good. It’s of vital importance that you get a shag, I never see that lovely smile of yours anymore."
To illustrate his point Will took a hold of Dave’s cheeks and forced his mouth into a smile then, letting go, he put a hand on Dave’s knee and purred, "tell you what, I’ll make the ultimate sacrifice. We’ll stay in tonight and I’ll shag you. You’re a bit too handsome, and no-where near hairy enough, for my liking but I’ll still do you. That’s how good a friend I am."
Dave sighed, "Oh for Christ’s sake, you win. If you promise never to proposition me again, I’ll come out with you tonight."
Will laughed, sometimes it was just too easy, "I knew you’d give in."
Dave picked up a cushion and hit Will with it, "I’ll go make us something to eat then before we go out."
As Dave headed to the kitchen Will called after him, "you can even borrow my new top if you like."
Dave bobbed his head back around the door and smiled, "stretch lycra isn’t really my style Will, and I’ve got that navy blue Versace shirt I haven’t worn yet. Might as well give it an airing, it cost enough!"
Will smiled back at his friend. Dave spent a lot of money on clothes and as a result always looked good. For some reason, probably because he didn’t check his bank statements, Dave’s dad still paid him a monthly clothing allowance and Dave had no qualms about spending it. As he told Will, "it’s the least the old bastard owes me."
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