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Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Private
Posts: 7
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Kidding
“What? What do you mean you never played at games when you were a kid?” Dorian asked, scratching his dust hair as he stared at his catpanion, as he liked to call him.
In other words, Sonji, his cat companion. With black fur and yellow eyes, he was a perfect staple for his profession, that of a bookish spellcaster. He wasn’t very emotive, even by cat standards, so he just sat in his chair, reading a book almost all the time with listless, emotionally empty eyes. “It means what it sounds like. It is a literally true statement.” He said, his voice as monotone and deadpan as his face.
Dorian was his exact opposite, an expressive, hyper individual. How they became friends is a mystery to the ages. He was humanoid, with olive skin and dark hair, his entire body constantly covered in a layer of dust. This wasn’t a hygiene problem; he was made of the stuff.
“But that doesn’t make any sense! I mean, I know you didn’t have a normal childhood, but shouldn’t you at least have tried?”
Sonji turned the page and didn’t answer. Dorian grunted and took the book for him, getting Sonji’s attention. For once, he expressed a minimal amount of distress, reaching for it. “You can have it back after we teach you how to play like a normal person.”
Sonji didn’t say anything, but seemed to resign to his fate, no longer reaching for the book as he stared off to the side listlessly. Dorian smiled. “There, that’s the spirit!” Well, not really, he thought to himself, but cooperation was hard to get out of him. “Alright, let’s start with Telephone.”
“What’s a telephone?”
“I have no idea, but the game goes like this. You have a whole bunch of people, or in this case we can have two. The first person tells the other some-thing, and then the other person has to pass it on, but he has to mess up the message a little bit. I’ll start.”
He took a moment to consider, and then whispered into Sonji’s ear. “Sonji is an old stick in the mud.” He said with a snicker. “Okay, now you whisper it to someone else with a minor mess-up.”
Sonji whispered. “Sonji is an old stick in the mud.”
Dorian sighed. “You can’t just repeat the same exact thing, that’s not how the game works.”
“I refuse to deliberately spread and propagate misinformation.”
“…Oi. Alright, fine, let’s play catch.” He grabbed a baseball and a mitt, having Sonji put it on. “Now, I’m gonna step back and throw the ball at you, and you have to catch it and throw it back, okay?” Sonji didn’t respond with even as much as a blink or a nod. “Good! Ready? Here it comes.”
He threw the ball, and Sonji turned his head and let it wiz by him. “Sonji!”
“It was approaching me at a dangerous speed that would probably leave a bruise.”
“I know; that’s why you’re supposed to catch it.”
Sonji turned around and walked over to retrieve the ball, picking it up with a flat palm, walking over, and dropping it into Dorian’s hands.
“Uh…thanks.” What could he try next? “Oh! How about we try a knock knock joke? Knock Knock.” Pause. “Ask who’s there.”
“But I already know it is you, Dorian.”
“Just ask.”
“Who is there?”
“Orange.”
“Incorrect.”
“It’s supposed to be a pun. A play on words. I’m not going to bother, let’s try…cards! We’ll teach you how to play Go Fish.”
“I do not like fish.”
“It’s not literal fish, it’s the name of the game. Besides, I thought cats loved fish.”
“I dislike eating meat.”
“Well, I suppose that is true. Then again, I’ve never seen you eat much as all.”
“I only drink a single glass of water and a piece of bread every day. It is enough to provide just enough carbohydrates and hydration to get myself through until the next morning.”
“…My goodness, Sonji, no wonder you creep people out. You don’t even try, do you?”
“Try what?”
“Nothing. Let’s at least make you put butter on your bread next time.”
“If you insist. May I have my book back?”
“Are you going to say please?”
“I would rather not, since you took it without consent.”
“Fine. I don’t know what you read this anyway.”
He tossed the tome back to Sonji, who caught it, sat down, and turned to wear he was, totally absorbed in the book. Dorian read the title, “The Elegant Universe: String Theory and Quantum Mechanics in a Ten-Dimensional Plane.”
He had no idea what the hell that meant. “Right. You enjoy that.”
Sonji turned the page.
“I’ll be taking a nap now.”
Page turn.
“….goodnight.”
Sonji turned another page without acknowledgement, and Dorian went to bed with a sigh. He’ll try again tomorrow.
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