The Baddest Man Alive Chapter Four "The Origin of Axel Grunge Pt 2!" - Writers Forum

thecoolestdude · 01-25-2008, 11:20 AM

Thanks to everyone that has been reading my story, I couldn''t go on with you

“And with that the demon was banished.” Axel Grunge sat next to his motorcycle on the ground, holding Charlene in his super-ripped arms. Charlene was crying, but not out of sadness- oh no, but out of happiness if you could believe that. “Women,” he thought in his head with a chuckle of seriousness. “Always either horny or crying.” Axel knew lots about women, which was how he able to make them horny so easily. For it was he who new the secrets of women, for he was an expert. He had learned the lessons from the Old Chinese Master.

“Wow. What an amazing story.” She said with a truthful look on her face. “But that happened a million years ago.” With that Axel picked up his tumbler of brandy and took a sip.

“Oh, you better believe there’s more.” Axel shouted solemnly.

“More!?” Charlene jumped up waved her arms. “I can’t take anymore of that story, it was like playing Final Fantasy Seven without a memory card!” She was right about that.

“You speak with much knowledge,” He said using his emotions toward her. “Like a scholar.” The compliment hit her in her heart and touched her feelings of emotion.

“Yes,” she sat back down next to him on the ground, next to the motorcycle. “That is true… so true.” She was not going to back out on him now, no way. Not after all they had been through. Together. Doing it all the time. She snatches his chin and growls angrily at him with determination, although she wasn’t actually angry at him. Or was she? “Finish the story.”

“My pleasure,” Axel breathed out his air. “It was then, with the kingdom in shambles and rocks were all over the place, that man… and wo-man had to start over. WITH nothing. They lived as the wild beasts! But they were not beasts, oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no- they were people!”

“Gasp!” Charlene wondered.

“Yes” Axel said in agreement of her. “But you see there was a man, a man like no other, that man was…” Charlene held her breath because she was excited at what he was saying to her. “…” She leans in closer shaking like a leaf waiting for the name of the person Axel is talking about right now. “…” You could cut the tension with a knife it was so interesting. “…” Such intense drama hadn’t been seen since the fourth season of Beverly Hills 90210. “…” Charlene found herself wrapped in a feeling of waiting. “Unga Grunge!”

Just then Professor Dr. Herbert W. Huffingsworthingtonbury III, the local caveman expert, walked by, his monacle fell from his eye in a reaction of being surprised. “THE Unga Grunge?” His fingers twiddled each other like he was trying to think, but he was too surprised. “The world’s smartest caveman? The same Unga Grunge that lead humans to victory in the great Zombie-Mammoth Revolution? The same Unga Grunge that created the Caveman Laws? The same Unga Grunge that invented making out, which he did all the time?”

“Yup.” Axel grunge already new about that stuff, because he was even better at knowledge than college professors.

“At last,” Herbert dropped to his knees shrieking at the top of his lung with great dignity. “I have found the One! The one who will save the world, for it is he who will save us.” Which was all true.

“Yeah, I know.” Axel voiced in a way. “But I’m not done with my story... DORK!” The Professor’s monacle fell out again, but he knew he deserved that, nobody interrupts an Axel story. That was the law of things and it was the way things were, as stated by the government. “After that man toiled the land and built cities with his own…” Axel Grunge is great storyteller and made it seem like the stories were really good. “Two hands! That was when a mighty warrior would arise to show people the way… of the future.”

“You don’t mean Grunge’ilmesh, the king that was cooler than anyone? The one that rescued the world from time traveling samurais?” The Professor interrupted again with his dorkiness. Axel was getting mad at him, for that. “As well as, inventing stuffed-crust pizza and nunchucks?” Now Axel was getting super mad. He was about to punch him, but remembered that it was wrong for cool guys to punch dorks, even if they deserved it. In many ways he’s like Ghandi.

“That’s true.” Axel shot anger at him. “After that the Roman Empire came, that was when…”

“Caesar Grungous Awesomous! The man that taught Italy the true meaning of Christmas and invented girls getting horny?” The professor is such a dork and doesn’t even know it, what a joke. He’s just like my math teacher that took my Nintendo DS while I was just showing to a friend and not playing it, so you know he’s annoying.

“That’s also right…” Axel said like he was the Professor’s friend, but he that’s just because he was about to psyche him out. The Professor is totally falling for it too. “DORK!” Psyche!

“I was just trying to…” but he was too dorky to finish the sentence and stared crying and Charlene and Axel just laughed at him, cause they thought it was funny. Which it was.

“Anyway, after that came America.” Wooooooooo! “And along came me… Axel Grunge!”

“Wow!” Charlene was sitting ready to listen to the good part of the story. One that would laugh, cry and get very, very horny- again.