WritingForums.com - Writing Forums, Writing Challenges, Critiques and Help for Writers Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Hello Unregistered,
It looks you have never posted to our site before! Why not make your first post today by saying hello to our community in our Introduce Yourself forum. Why not start with your first post today and become an active part of our growing community of writers!
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writing Forums > Creativity > Fiction
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Fiction Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure, Thrillers etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-24-2008, 01:22 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 11
Roman_Mitic is on a distinguished road
Lightbulb Coal Tales- Check it out let me know what you think

Sometime during the mid of night, the telephone rang and woke Amy. She picked it up and groggily said,
“Hello?”
There was no response. Just heavy breathing on the other end, in deep lengthy breaths, she hung up the phone. She started toward the kitchen for a glass of water; the phone rang again interrupting her. She unhurriedly picked it up, paused and in a bold voice said.
“Hello?”
“I’m in the lobby.”
A raspy voice whispered, and then hung up. Amy was contemplating calling the police, she began to dial nine one… She hung up. She considers it might be her older brother Jesse, playing a prank on her. He usually does when he calls, she thought to herself. The phone rang a third time; she picked it up and said nothing. She waited, and then heard.
“I’m gelling closer, passing the fifth floor”
She clicked the phone off and shakily set it on the coffee table. She went to turn the ringer off, but as soon as she picked up the phone, it rang. Startled, Amy dropped the phone. She let it ring three times, and then reluctantly picked it up. She sat down and took a deep breath, with her trembling hand hit the talk button. She put the phone to her ear.
“I can see you”
The dark voice whispered, then silence from the other end. She looked around, but saw nothing but shadows. She began to panic, she suddenly remembered a callback service, and dialed star six nine. The automation came on and she pressed one. Just as it began to ring, a sound stopped her. She stopped; the ringing was also coming from behind her. She jumped up out of the chair and looked around her apartment, but it was very dark. From the shadows beside her desk, a figure emerged. All that was visible was a shiny bowie knife. The blade was reflecting the only light in the room. The alarming figure said with a growl.
“You should have called the police, when you had the chance.”
Amy turned toward the front door to escape, but suddenly a numbing pressure on her lower back stopped her. She tried to turn around, but the attacker twisted the knife stuck in her back slowly severing her spine. She felt a sickening pop and the deadening of all the feeling below her neck. Her legs crumpled and she dropped to the floor, her leg twitching. The figure stood over her breathing heavily, Amy lying on the floor in a pool of blood and panic, knowing her life was about to leave her. Only able to move her head, she looked up choking and gasping. The dark figure loomed over her; she could only see the attackers shape nothing more. The dark figure bent down and with a quick jerk tore the knife from the body. The killer bent and began sawing through her throat, decapitating her body with ridged motions. The killer then placed the head in the microwave, set the timer to ten minutes, and the left the scene.
That is how the legend goes.
Roman_Mitic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2008, 01:52 PM   #2
Prolific Writer
 
HippoHead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 493
HippoHead is on a distinguished road
Despite it being grammatically atrocious, it was foreboding and suspenseful indeed.
iunno what that last line's about. It was hardly a legend. A tale at best.
HippoHead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2008, 02:20 PM   #3
Prolific Writer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Earth... for now.
Posts: 430
Mr Sci Fi is on a distinguished road
Haven't I read this version or another of this "Legend" in those "Scary Story" books?
__________________
"The writer you envy today will probably have reason to envy you tomorrow." - Orson Scott Card
Mr Sci Fi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2008, 03:00 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 11
Roman_Mitic is on a distinguished road
I was going for the legends told around campfires you know that's how the legend goes. I guess I misssed huh? can you help me with the grammar
Roman_Mitic is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:48 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password




Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers