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I'm guessing that you're very young. If so, it's good that you're trying to put your thoughts out for someone else to review but this may not be the best forum for you. If not, my apologies--no insult intended.
Here are a couple of basic things to think about:
*Characters - People can be described in so many ways! Don't limit yourself to their age and hair. Think about their personalities, their habits & hobbies, their strengths & weaknesses, their overall appearances (thin or fat, sloppy or neat, etc.). Who is the main character and who is the main bad guy?
* Settings - What kind of houses are they? What kind of chairs? What town/city? Is the atmosphere nice, friendly, boring, etc.?
* What is the theme of the story? (the emotional storyline)
* What is the plot of the story? (what action will take place)
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