tay_tracy35

By now, it was dark and my veins pumped with a rush of adrenalin. “That was one of the best concerts I’ve been to!” I sang, controlling the urge to skip. Nonetheless, a grin was plastered to my face and even in walking home through the dark cold streets on the outskirts of downtown Colorado, I felt like ripping out my guitar and playing to the beat of my own songs. Now, that was a sobering thought. I missed my band! I missed high school; one would think I’d have gotten over that feeling, it being two years after all that… Ah, well, there’s life for you.

“Yeah…” My friend shrugged. “I still like rap better.” She plunged her hands into her pockets and shivered in the soft light of the harvest moon.

“Oh, come on!” I barked, “Metal is much better! On stage you have someone who feels the music; you can feel the music! The rage!” I cried, “The sorrow,” I put my hand over my heart, “And then, the good times where you just want to soar… with a pick in your hand!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the queen of drama,” she bowed her head and then resumed to mope.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Yep, feeling’s gone. Welcome back reality… I sighed and waited for her response.

“Kelly,” she said sternly. “Steve is always gone.”

I nodded. Steve, oh Steve, where art thou? He’s the second guitarist, well, once he was that. Now, he’s the lead, the lead singer; my replacement. I dropped out of that life; I settled down, I got married… And, oh yeah, I’m nineteen. I play viola, I like viola, yes, yes I do… But the rush of being in front of your fans! The thrashing crowd! That feeling right before you rush out on stage to the screams; the cheers!

“Hello!” she snapped, suddenly waking me from my reverie.

“I hate violinists… They’re mean and stuck up and then, then? The concert mistress gets all the glory, right after making my life a living hell for the nine hours of rehearsal and right backstage, she gives me a glare like she’s putting me in my place!” I clenched my teeth. “Whatever! If there weren’t that many witnesses, I’d have shoved that hunk of wood down her throat!” Ah, the competition in my world of strings… Tragic, remorseful, and yet thrilling and justified. “By the way, you love Steve. Right after the baby’s born, y’all can join him on the road… why not?” It was their plan, not mine… If it were up to me, in their situation, I’d lay of the gigs; maybe get a steady job… Now I’m just being mean. They deserve better treatment; after all, they’re my best friends! Well, there’s Jake… and Brian… Then mom and dad, Alex… Ryan. It was strangely satisfying to picture all of their faces.

“Kelly!”


I jumped. “No need to yell!” I brushed the invisible dirt form my front and took on a faster pace to my car.

“You’re not even listening!” she yelled, “Yeah, well, it’s not like you’d understand anyway!” She pulled her jacket closer around her, covering up her six-month enlarged stomach.

“You know that’s not true,” Ah, there I was, finally back on earth, the sensible me. “I know how hard it is.” I spoke calmly. “I love you and Steve as much as I love that baby. I’ve known you since we were in Kindergarten. We’ve gone to school together since then; you’ve been there during my ups and downs, and I’m with you for yours. It’s not fair to say I don’t understand. What about my mom?”

She didn’t say anything, but we both had stopped walking.

“I was born when she was eighteen,” I laughed to myself, “And now? She has a medical degree and she has Alex. He’s only seven and my dad’s in Iraq. I know how hard life can be; trust me.”

“Oh, yeah…” she mumbled, seeming to come back into reality, too. “How is Alex with all that?”

“He doesn’t understand, I don’t think. Which is fine by me; I’d rather have him oblivious, then just… waiting.” I frowned. “I wish my dad would just get home… safe.”

She smiled, sheepishly. “Alright, I’ve successfully made us both depressed. Want to get some coffee or something?”

“I feel like hugging my little brother!” I whined and then I began to grin back, “Want to go to a movie?”

“It’s one o’clock,” she informed me, disdainfully.

“Yeah, well, might as well start off your day with a comical film, playing right here, in downtown, at the theater.”

She raised an eyebrow toward my over-description.

“It’d be fun,” I starred at her wide-eyed with my head cocked to the side and an all-knowing smile on my lips.

After a moment, she gave in. “Fine… You’re such a bad influence.”

“Oh, yeah, I know,” I got out my keys and dove into the driver’s seat. “Jump in, the water’s fine,” I called before slamming my door.

She rolled her eyes and joined me in my fight for fun…

Firebolt

I like it; I think it's a good beginning for two main reasons:
(1) I'm interested and want to read the rest. I feel like the characters have depth even if I don't know their details yet.
(2) I only found one minor grammar/spelling problem (a "too" vs "to" issue in the first line). I hate mistakes; they make my eye twitch, and break the mood of the story for me. The fact that I found only one makes me happy and made me enjoy the piece more.

I hope you post more of this story, I'd like to read it.

Arooo3

My thoughts are to change the characters names
-Kelly to Agnes
-Steve to Vito
-Jake to Aaron
-Brian to Willy
-Alex to Sam
-Ryan to Manual

__________________
Ali Lynn McFarland

tay_tracy35

Ha. Thanks for finding that. Typos... And the names? Pretty sweet, might change 'em. But, not Ryan. Or Kelly. The rest? Sure.