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Old 12-26-2007, 11:31 AM   #1
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Gone Forever

(( I wrote this micro story for my creative writing class. It is something I hadn't planned on writing, but I was watching the news and they were talking about global warming and I got a little heated. -shrug- I didn't even plan on putting this up, but then I saw the tiger attack on the news (the one that escaped), and well... I said, "what the heck, I'll do it." So, here it is! ))

Gone Forever
The world has changed. Humans still walked the streets, but they were walking beside androids. Household mammals were replaced by Robokanine and Robofeline, even fish and birds were robotic. The only live animals left were those in the World Zoo for the Endangered Species, or the WZES. They were the survivors. The animals left after the poaching… and they wouldn’t last forever.
“Ramses, no,” commanded Kayt the android.
The Robokanine, in the form of a German Shepherd Dog, stopped eating the fake plants in the ceramic pot and turned his red robotic eyes on his master. Kathryn was busy preparing for their night ahead.
The air was chilly, but Kayt and Ramses didn’t feel it. They walked side by side down the busy sidewalk, a duffel bag in Kayt’s right hand. They turned the corner and walked through the iron gates into the zoo. Kayt strode to the ticket booth, her chin held high in an arrogant fashion. She was going to destroy every exhibit, every creature, and anyone that got in her way.
“Ticket. Now,” she snapped the command. Her human-like face remained emotionless and cold as she tapped her fingers on the counter. “Hurry up,” she growled and snatched the ticket out of the young human’s hand. “Ramses, come,” Kayt glanced down to her Robokanine before proceeding into the zoo.
They walked down the cement path that wound throughout the entire zoo. It was not crowded, but there were a few humans with their noisy children. Kayt watched a little girl run from the safety of her father’s arms and press her face against the glass dividing the Spider Monkey and the girl. She scowled and walked on.
Walking to the next exhibit, she scanned the fake rock environment, the grass that was too green to be true, the snow leopard sitting right up against the glass. Bending down to grab something from her bag, standing back up she walked to the glass. Ramses stood a few feet away, sitting on his haunches and keeping guard. Placing the object securely under a ledge that people sat on, Kayt picked up her bag and walked to the next exhibit.
It was simple, and way too easy. Place the bomb under the nearest ledge of bench when no one was watching, but if people were around, prepare to get creative. Bend down to tie your shoe, or drop something on the ground so you had to bend down. Kayt had been to every exhibit, placed every bomb, and done it in a half hour. Ramses stood in front of the Polar Bear exhibit; his red eyes watched the snow-white bears sitting on their haunches, staring at a stone wall.
“We are doing them a favor. They’ve never even seen real snow,” Kayt told her Robokanine quietly as she joined his side. “Come, Ramses. We are not done.”
The two of them walked along the perimeter of the zoo, placing bombs in cracks in the walls, going unnoticed. Once everything was set they walked away.
“It is a shame to,” Kayt paused to pull out a rectangular device from her bag, “Think that this could...” She said as she glanced at the buildings around her, “Have been prevented.” She pressed the red button.
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Old 12-26-2007, 12:58 PM   #2
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It's an interesting start but the story would have to answer a few questions. Why is it seemingly so easy to place bombs in the future (easier than nowadays at least) Why is an andriod allowed wherever she wants, why would she have an andriod dog, why would an andriod dog not be program not to eat the plants. Why is there no system to show if bombs were being placed, some sort of bomb detector.
If these are the only animals left alive why are they not better taken care of. I would think that they would have extravagant habitats and amazing security.
The writing itself is well done though
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Old 12-26-2007, 01:21 PM   #3
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I agree with shraga on this...it is somewhat unrealistic security wise, but the writing was well done. At the begging, where you said, "'Commanded Kayt the android", it sounded somewhat choppy.
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