Timex

Hello everyone, this is my first post here though not my first story. It's very short and spur of the moment, so tell me what you think.







The Fool on the Hill


Long ago there was a hill, green and grassy that inhabited itself in an unremarkable time in an unremarkable place. On the hill inhabited an equally unremarkable wise man. With no sense of decency or modesty he would live on the naked hill not far from a small village that with time would burgeon into a city. Nobody approached or talked to the man for superstition’s sake until one day a warrior approached.

The wise man sat, as always, upon his grassy hill in the lotus position overlooking the village, keeping unnaturally still, until his eyes could focus on the warrior approaching him. The wise man did not move a muscle save those in his eyes. The warrior sat down uncomfortably upon his knees below the wise man on the hill. The two locked eyes.

“My name is Sue-Nami, I am a warrior, and wish to acquire your knowledge and wisdom for myself in my upcoming battle.”

The wise man stared for a minute more into Sue-Nami’s eyes, still unmoving, until finally he responded.

“A warrior is an interesting profession to choose, no room for error I would think.”

The warrior stared curiously contemplating whatever meaning he could garner until he gave up and tried a new approach.

“The few in my village who do not fear you say you are wiser than any man in our lands.”

The wise man subtly curled his lip in a tight smirk and replied, “Does one such as you imply ownership of these people?” he asked waving a hand towards the village.

“Why would you ask?”

“I ask because you are not here for my knowledge, or my wisdom. You come to me with a made mind. You will do your people no good, and you will doom the rest of the world to suffering, intolerance, and needless hatred for all time.” The wise man said slow and prophetically.

Sue-Nami felt a glimmer of rage tickle inside him from such an accusation and gripped his crude sword that lay at his side to quell the anger.

“And, why, oh wise one, would you say that?” he replied while mockingly contorting his face.

“You said those in my village, this is how I knew.”

Sue-Nami again raised his eyebrow and cocked his head at the enigmatic answer.

“You also said those who do not fear me. It is interesting that they should not fear the man with the sword who claims ownership of them, yet they fear the man on the hill who has naught but his words to parry with another man.”

Sue-Nami let out a big sigh. It was obvious he would not get the answer he was looking for, this had been a waste of time.

“You wish to take our neighbor’s lands, is this not true?”

Sue-Nami now stood above the wise man with his sword now slung on his waist. He looked down to the wise man but he did not look up, he merely stared off into space between Sue-Nami’s legs.

“You deal with a dangerous idea Sue-Nami.” The wise man continued and laughed when he said the warrior’s name.

“You unleash a potential in man that when unleashed will not abate. Ever. As I said before, you doom him to a lifetime of toil, unpleasantness, and ignorance.”

“It is only one town.” Sue-Nami retorted. “It is unlikely anyone will even get hurt, we have superior numbers and arms and surprise on our side, they would not dare move against us.”

But Sue-Nami could not understand. Of the countless generations his village would bring into the world, not a single one was thought of that day on the hill.

“One war, will not be enough for man. One war will start an avalanche that will lead to more wars, to all wars, one war now connected to a war a millennia from now. History will not remember you Sue-Nami, but it will remember the son you bore, the idea you spawned, and the madness you wrought when you decided that killing a man was easier than reasoning with him.”

Sue-Nami did not have ears for this. “I am not killing you.” He seemed to say in desperation.

“No, you are doing much worse than that. You are killing your family, and the families of friends.”

“I told you, we cannot lose.”

“And I told you that you are not here for my knowledge, only for my blessing to the ignorant people down there that it is okay to kill people. Go then. Tell them I give them my blessings, for if it is not you who brings war to man, someone else will.”

“You are no wise man. You spin doomsayer’s tales, and the people are right to fear you for it, for I nearly believed you myself. If they do not fear you already I will teach them that they should fear you.”

“We reap what we sow.”

“You are wrong. History will remember me, they will remember me for my deeds and my honor, and that I stood on this hill arguing with a fool who thought he knew better.

Sue-Nami began his walk back towards the town. People could be seen awaiting his return at the edge of the village.

The wise man looked on in pity at Sue-Nami and yelled after him. “They will only remember one of us at the Fool on the Hill.”

“Which of us it will be, however…depends on history.” The wise man finished.

Sue-Nami didn’t look back, but the wise man moved off his hill and away from the village and into the mountains to never be seen again.

Dana_Johnson

Very well done, Timex. I applaud you on this piece.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, really made me think. As far as grammatical errors go, I don't recall any. I think I may have been too interested in the story to notice.

Is that all there is? I really hope there's more, but if not it makes for a very good short story.

Take care!

Timex

I think this is probably all I'll write for this one, I meant it to be just a thought provoking short story. I'll soon be posting another story, and this time in the correct section.

Four Lucky Spades

Great story!

froman

I think it's really unique. Like something that has been passed down from generation to generation before writing existed.

fmreditor

How can a hill inhabit itself?

How can a man be naked and wise and on a hill, yet unremarkable?

Is the main warrior-character's name intentionally made to sound like "tsunami?" As in the destructive wave? It seems so, and not very subtle. But maybe other don;t hear words in their mind as they read them ...

Just a few things in the set-up that are a bit disconnected with the story itself.

After the "intro," the story itself is okay, a little didactic, but okay nonetheless.

Timex

Yes, some parts of the intro are disconnected with the rest of the story as well as poorly worded (now that I look back on it). I tried to make the details unimportant where there was no dialogue. In my opinion you could probably read the story without the introduction and not be lost.

And yes, his name is supposed to sound similar to "tsunami", the destructive wave; I was going for a not-so-subtle hint that the war Sue-Nami was going to start would be similar in nature.