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Old 08-15-2007, 09:49 AM   #31
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A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey

*if you change to 'blood thirsty bunny'*
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Old 08-15-2007, 09:52 AM   #32
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explosions in the sky costing more than just money


(eh, first thing that came to me)
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:14 AM   #33
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Hey, I'd like to see a for (if you are) and against debate on chapter 4.
I think it would be interesting. Take a look.
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:30 AM   #34
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Haha and on with the poem...


And a break neck situation that all the girls find funny.

(second stanza)
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:35 AM   #35
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the tides enjoy running red and sloshing like honey


(looking back... did I seriously say honey. I need to try harder.)
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Last edited by Eiji Tunsinagi : 08-15-2007 at 10:57 AM. Reason: Stupidity
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Old 08-15-2007, 11:56 AM   #36
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Oh! Almost forgot about this little tirade.
Yeah I used honey.

'I prefer giant robots and talking toast.
Than steel framed women and chocolate covered ghost.

Plague by pesticide and blood-thirsty bunny.
A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey

Explosions in the sky costing more than just
money
And a break neck situation that all the girls find funny.'

Maybe change the bold words?
Then one more stanza I think.
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Old 08-15-2007, 12:10 PM   #37
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'I prefer giant robots and talking toast.
Than steel framed women and chocolate covered ghost.

Plague by pesticide and blood-thirsty bunny.
A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey

Explosions in the sky costing more than just rust
And a break neck situation that all the girls lust.'

Maybe?
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:21 PM   #38
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i stopped reading after the first sentence. there is nothing wrong with abstract content, but i think you take it too far
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:34 PM   #39
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Endure it all or don't comment.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:42 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pale Gallery View Post
Endure it all or don't comment.
but fella, what i said is the most important critique you will get.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:53 PM   #41
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Cheers Dad.

Its basically a really cynical joke mate, that only a select few understand.
You have to look at it in a different way. Its not a serious piece of literature.

'fella' Ha.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:58 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pale Gallery View Post
Cheers Dad.

Its basically a really cynical joke mate, that only a select few understand.
You have to look at it in a different way. Its not a serious piece of literature.

'fella' Ha.
select few eh? so it's supposed to be unreadable... incredibly clever, Kudos
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:02 PM   #43
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An expedition into the antarctic.
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:12 PM   #44
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Quote:
"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are."
so true
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:20 PM   #45
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Definately true with me.
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