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| Fiction Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure, Thrillers etc. |
08-15-2007, 09:49 AM
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#31
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A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey
*if you change to 'blood thirsty bunny'*
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 09:52 AM
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#32
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
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explosions in the sky costing more than just money
(eh, first thing that came to me)
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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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08-15-2007, 10:14 AM
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#33
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Hey, I'd like to see a for (if you are) and against debate on chapter 4.
I think it would be interesting. Take a look.
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 10:30 AM
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#34
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Haha and on with the poem...
And a break neck situation that all the girls find funny.
(second stanza)
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 10:35 AM
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#35
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the tides enjoy running red and sloshing like honey
(looking back... did I seriously say honey. I need to try harder.)
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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
Last edited by Eiji Tunsinagi : 08-15-2007 at 10:57 AM.
Reason: Stupidity
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08-15-2007, 11:56 AM
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#36
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Oh! Almost forgot about this little tirade.
Yeah I used honey.
'I prefer giant robots and talking toast.
Than steel framed women and chocolate covered ghost.
Plague by pesticide and blood-thirsty bunny.
A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey
Explosions in the sky costing more than just money
And a break neck situation that all the girls find funny.'
Maybe change the bold words?
Then one more stanza I think.
__________________
"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 12:10 PM
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#37
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Writing Machine
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'I prefer giant robots and talking toast.
Than steel framed women and chocolate covered ghost.
Plague by pesticide and blood-thirsty bunny.
A thousand drowned violent in a vast lake of honey
Explosions in the sky costing more than just rust
And a break neck situation that all the girls lust.'
Maybe?
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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08-15-2007, 03:21 PM
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#38
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i stopped reading after the first sentence. there is nothing wrong with abstract content, but i think you take it too far
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don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
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http://www.writersbeat.com
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08-15-2007, 03:34 PM
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#39
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Endure it all or don't comment.
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 03:42 PM
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#40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pale Gallery
Endure it all or don't comment.
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but fella, what i said is the most important critique you will get.
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don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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08-15-2007, 03:53 PM
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#41
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Cheers Dad.
Its basically a really cynical joke mate, that only a select few understand.
You have to look at it in a different way. Its not a serious piece of literature.
'fella' Ha.
__________________
"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 03:58 PM
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#42
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Writing Machine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pale Gallery
Cheers Dad.
Its basically a really cynical joke mate, that only a select few understand.
You have to look at it in a different way. Its not a serious piece of literature.
'fella' Ha.
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select few eh? so it's supposed to be unreadable... incredibly clever, Kudos
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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08-15-2007, 04:02 PM
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#43
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An expedition into the antarctic.
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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08-15-2007, 04:12 PM
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#44
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Writing Machine
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Quote:
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are."
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so true
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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08-15-2007, 04:20 PM
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#45
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Best Seller
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Britain
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Definately true with me.
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"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
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