Ian

He was trying to imagine how he’d find life with her again. He had struggled for so long trying to get the necessary exit documents that he never thought that this paper chase would ever end. Taking his place every morning in the long queues had become routine. He never really thought that the day would ever come when they would grant him permission to leave -and now he was sitting at the back of the plane taking him to her.

He couldn’t believe that the whole thing was over; maybe something would still happen to change all this. It had been a hot summer in many ways. Everyone who could, wanted to leave and put this country behind them. Those lucky enough to do so, would throw a stone over their shoulder as a sign of defiance that they never intended to return. They never looked back.

All this was going through his mind as he was looking absent-mindedly out of the small window at the blue sky and the thick white clouds below that made it look as if they were just sliding along a wooly white blanket.

Would the local people be friendly? He asked himself just as a pretty hostess smiled at him.

"What would you like to drink?" she said in a soft voice.

'Yes, English people are m,ore friendly' he thought. Then his mind went back to her again. She had suffered a lot - much more than him. Her tormentors had kept her in confinement for over a year and then released her knowing that her life would never be the same again. These torturers knew that a woman who'd been through their hands would never integrate in society - she would be rejected by all, even though she had been an innocent victim. Her own family would feel guilt that they were powerless to do much for her.

It was much more difficult for women during the troubled times but she was strong - she would not let them destroy her, even if it meant her leaving her country, her family and friends. She struggled and finally found a way to get to England. There people were more understanding and she could make a new life.

When she left she had promised that she’d do everything possible to get him to join her. And now it had happened. But was it fair? She’d made a new life already. Would he not be a burden?

He couldn’t concentrate on any one thing, it was all swirling in his head. He was both excited and anxious. Closing his eyes for a while he let everything run through his mind again. He dozed off for what he thought was a moment and was woken by the pleasant voice of the stewardess.

"Ladies and gentlemen we will soon be arriving at Heathrow, please fasten your seat belts."

Looking out of the window he could see the rich green fields getting bigger and bigger. Neat hedges separated them and cars were moving in orderly fashion on what looked like the wrong side of the road. Rows and rows of neat red and brown brick houses could be seen as they finally swooped towards the runway where they touched down and taxied to their assigned gate.


People around him were collecting their belongings, all anxious to be the first out, but he was not in a hurry. He needed to take it all in - he was starting life in a new country.

When he finally got out he followed the rest of the passengers as they walked through endless corridors to reach the luggage carrousels. He didn't have much, just an old holdall and he had carried this on the plane.

For a moment his heart raced as he approached the passport and customs controls but the officials seemed pretty relaxed and they even smiled. He realised finally that he had nothing more to fear; his papers were in order. As he came out he looked at the crowd pressing at the barriers all looking for their loved ones.

Scanning through the faces he saw her. It had been such a long time since he'd last seen her but she looked so good, so radiant. She was agitated jumping up and down waving at him and shouting out his name.

As he got closer she run past the barrier and threw her arms around him, then she stepped back to have another look and embraced him again. She tried to speak but she started crying instead. He looked away for a moment as the tears came and were wiped with the back of his hand. They just stood there; the two of them unaware of all that was going on around and the people looking on. Then she turned to speak to the tall man standing beside her.

“Thank you, thank you," she told him,"I never thought I'd see my boy again." Her English husband was also moved as he embraced the boy in turn.

Minka

Okay, I've been a bit nit-picky with the grammar and syntax, but hopefully you won't mind too much.

Overall I thought this piece had parts that were effective and parts that weren't. You started and ended well, but I thought that some of the middle could have had more energy in it. I think your main problem is sorting out syntax and making sure you don't sound too repetitive. In general though, I enjoyed your lucid style and the ending was very poignant and I was certainly surprised when I discovered that the woman was actually his mother. Well done.

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Ian

Thank you very much for your thorough review Minka.

Mind? I loved it.

My first posting here, and I have learned so much already. I also feel good that there must have been something to the story that attracted you.

It's worth repeating myself by saying thank you again and I look forward to reading some of your work.