The Experiment (First Part) - Writers Forum

VinrAlfakyn · 06-05-2007, 01:07 PM

The Experiment

I awoke to an annoying ringing sound. As I rolled over, I turned off my alarm and stared at the clock. Six thirty. I groaned internally. My summer vacation was officially over. I grudgingly went through the familiar morning routine: shower, eat, get dressed, brush teeth, fix hair, make-up, leave house. At least once I get through with this year, I won’t have to come back, I thought. It was the first day of my senior year of high school, and already I couldn’t wait until graduation.
I pulled into the school parking lot just as the first bell rang. Then we were all forced into the gym for the “Welcome Back” speech from the principal. I quickly found Charlotte, my best friend, and grabbed a seat next to her. We whispered throughout the assembly. The speeches rarely changed from year to year; we didn’t miss much.
As we headed off to our classes, I noticed a tall new guy heading in the opposite direction. We went to a small school, so anyone out of the ordinary was noticed immediately. But it wasn’t just that we’d never seen him before; he was also incredibly handsome. Lucky for me, when I finally made it to my first class, he was there. I snagged a seat next to him and introduced myself. There was no way I’d miss my chance with him sitting right beside me.
He said his name was Sebastian, and since it was the first day back and we didn’t have any work, I spent my time talking to him. He told me of his family, his old home, his interests. I wasn’t selfish with information concerning myself, so we filled in the hour comfortably. All too soon the bell rang and we were forced to head off to our next class.
I had that one with Charlotte, so I filled her in on all that had gone on. She enjoyed juicy details, so I spared her no small piece of information.
“Do you think he likes you?” she asked.
“How am I supposed to know?” I replied. “I just met him!”
“Well, you could still tell if he liked you or not!” she said. “What did he say with his body language?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “I’m not good at that type of stuff.” She sighed.
“Well, if you don’t see him again today, you’ll see him tomorrow, and every other school day this year. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“Yeah, I suppose,” I said. She spent the rest of the time talking her newest experiment. She loved science, and never failed to fill me in on all her newest ideas and theories. I listened faithfully, as any good friend would, making appropriate comments at the appropriate times, but I really had no interest in it. I loved music and literature, but still, I wouldn’t disappoint Charlotte. She did the same for me when I went on about the latest book I’d finished.
As we went on through the day, I discovered I had a total of four classes with Sebastian. Each time I managed to find a seat next to him. If he was annoyed by this fact, he didn’t show it, and I certainly wasn’t going to ask him! Over all, it was a better first day back than I’d expected, and I certainly had no reason to complain.
Charlotte came over after school, as she always did, and since we didn’t have homework yet, she did research on the computer while I read. As we got farther into the year, homework would come first and then we’d start on other things, but we were glad for the temporary freedom.
As I finished another chapter, Charlotte printed a few pages off the internet. I knew what this meant. The wheels and gears in her mind were moving swiftly, and an experiment was forming itself in her brain. A few days from now, a week at the most, and she’d be ready to put it into action.
“So what does this one have to do with?” I asked her.
“DNA,” she answered, needing no clarification. “There’s a theory I have, and I really want to put it into action, but I’ll have to do a little more research. This one will require some expensive equipment.” I nodded. At times her experiments cost hundreds of dollars, so I wasn’t surprised that something dealing with DNA would be pricey. I was just amazed at how well her parents supported her. They bought all her equipment for her, even when she used something only once and never again. I suppose they loved the idea of their little girl doing something intelligent with things they’d never heard of. Whatever their reasons, they backed her one hundred percent, buying her anything she needed. You could say I was a little envious. My parents weren’t so generous, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t buy me things. I owned hundreds of books, CD’s, and soundtracks. All I envied was the fact that no matter what the object was, how much it was, or how often it would be used, Charlotte’s parents bought it for her.
Oh well, I thought. I can’t complain.
“So how long until you can try it?” I asked. She shrugged.
“Depends on how soon I can get the equipment.” Then a mischievous look clouded her eyes. “I’ll definitely need you for this one,” she said. It was my turn to shrug.
“No problem.”

“Abigail!” a male voice called. I turned, searching for the source of the voice. Sebastian waved his arms around, catching my attention, then strode down the hall toward me. I couldn’t help but smile. Sebastian and I had been spending a lot of time together since our first day back. I was hoping that our friendship would eventually become something more, but I still wasn’t sure how he felt about me.
“Hey,” he said when he got closer. His smile covered his face, revealing pearly white teeth. His eyes sparkled as he looked down at me.
“How are you?” I asked him.
“I’m wonderful,” he said, his smile broadening. “You?”
“Oh, I’m alright,” I answered. “I could be worse.”
“How so?” he asked as we began walking to our first class.
“Well,” I began. “I could be dead, for one,” I laughed. He joined in. “There are a lot of things that could happen,” I continued. “I’m just happy I’m alive today, I’m healthy, and I have friends who care about me.” He nodded.
“That makes sense,” he said. We entered the classroom and took our seats.
“So,” he went on. “Are you busy tonight?” I felt my cheeks growing warm.
“No,” I shook my head.
“Great,” he grinned. “Would you like to come over and see a movie?” I was sure my face was beet red.
“I’d love to,” I answered. I couldn’t sit still through the rest of the class. I couldn’t wait to see Charlotte so I could tell her about my date.

“How do I look?” I asked. Charlotte and I were standing in my room, getting me ready for my big night with Sebastian. I was wearing black Capri pants, a pink undershirt, and a white jacket top. Part of my hair was pulled back in a clip while the rest hung down my back. Charlotte added a pink flower to rest on my ear. She stepped back to get a good look at me, and gave me a big smile.
“You look beautiful!” she gushed. “Sebastian won’t be able to take his eyes off of you!” I looked back into the mirror. I didn’t see the drop-dead beauty that she saw, but I thought I looked decent enough.
“Smile Abby!” Charlotte said. I turned and noticed the digital camera pressed to her face, her finger inching toward the shutter button.
“Oh, Charlotte, you know I hate pictures of myself!” I complained. I gave a pouty look and she pressed the button. Then she laughed and showed me the picture.
“Aw, don’t I look cute?” I asked dryly.
“Well, maybe if you would smile!” she exclaimed. She laughed again. I think she was more excited about my date than I was, as impossible as that sounds.
“Okay,” I said. “Take another picture. I promise I’ll smile.” I gave my best grin and she snapped the picture.
“Beautiful,” she said.
“Okay, he’ll be here any minute,” I whined.
“Alright,” she said. “But I want another picture of you guys together.” I groaned as I made my way out the door.

Our first date was amazing. Sebastian took me back to his house and we watched two or three movies while eating pizza. His family was great, and I was relieved that they all apparently liked me. I was sure that more dates would follow.
The next day I told Charlotte all the details she could stand. Which, in her case, is every little detail of the night.
“Where did you sit? Where did he sit? What did you eat? What movie did you watch? How did he sit? Did he put his arm around you?” etc. She, too, was convinced that more dates would ensue.
“But,” she said. “You have to come to my house tonight. My experiment is ready, and I’m going to need your help.” She gave me such a helpless look that I had to laugh.
“You know I’ll be there,” I told her. And, as always, I kept my promise.

“What does this do?” I asked Charlotte as I examined a complicated-looking piece of equipment. I had gone to Charlotte’s house immediately after school. While she was busy setting up everything she needed, I explored her lab.
“It examines DNA,” she said. “Then I do a little computer work and enter what I want the machine to do, and then just wait until it finishes. That’s what we’ll be doing tonight.”
“Oh, that’s it?” I asked. She nodded.
“Well, that doesn’t sound like it’d take too long,” I commented.
“Nope,” she answered and shook her head. “That’s the major plus about it.” I wandered around the lab for a while longer, examining different interesting-looking devices, while she finished setting up the experiment.
“Alright, that’s it,” she finally said. “All I need now is for you to come sit over here,” she said, indicating a chair beside her. I sat in the chair and awaited further instruction. She punched a few buttons and then sat next to me in her own chair.
“Here we go,” she said. “Just sit still, this won’t take long.” I had participated in dozens of Charlotte’s experiments, so I was used to sitting still and finding things to occupy my mind. This time I quoted The Highwayman in my head. It’s a lengthy poem, so it took up a lot of time. As I got to the last two verses, a beeping sound came from the machine and Charlotte sat up.
“Now I have to tell the computer what I want it to do with it’s new information,” she said. Once she had typed her instructions, she came to my chair and reached beneath it, pushing a button. She did the same to hers and sat down again. After almost twenty seconds a buzzing noise came from the machine. A device attached to the ceiling above our heads began spinning, and as it increased in speed, the buzzing increased in volume. Out of the same device a bright light began to shine, and I shut my eyes instinctively. The buzzing got louder and my body tensed against the chair.
“Charlotte?” I called. I received no answer. Suddenly I felt something hot shoot through my body. It was as though a pillar of fire had descended upon me, and I screamed in fear. Then I felt as though my body was being taken apart, piece by tiny piece. I gripped the arms of the chair and clenched my teeth. Sweat dripped from my head and I began to shake. Then suddenly I was fine. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in a bright white place. There was no sky, no grass, no trees, nothing but white for as far as the eye could see. I turned around and saw Charlotte standing not far from me. She glared at me for a moment, and then focused on something behind me. I turned to follow her gaze and saw a white door that wasn’t there before. I turned back to Charlotte.
“Where are we?” I asked her. “What did you do?” She didn’t answer. Instead, she began walking towards me, but her gaze was looking past me. She was heading for the door. I looked back at the door and then heard running. Charlotte bolted past me and I knew that for some reason, I had to reach the door no matter what. I had to get through it, or something bad would happen. I took off running after Charlotte and caught her just as she reached the door and wrenched it open. We both went flying forward and fell through the opening.
Slam!
My body jerked and writhed against my chair and I gasped for air. I felt as though I’d hit into a brick wall, or something else just as big and unmoving. I searched the room for Charlotte and saw a crumpled body lying on the floor. It groaned and rolled over. It was me! I shook my head and tried to clear my mind, but there was no denying that the crumpled body on the floor was mine. So what was I? A ghost?
I examined my hands and felt my face, but everything was wrong. My hands aren’t short and stubby, like they are now. My face is usually a lot smoother, I’m sure. I reached around my head and felt confused when my hair stopped before it even reached my shoulders. There’s no way my hair would ever be short! I ran out of the lab into Charlotte’s room, which was connected by a small passageway. A mirror sat on her vanity, and it was to this I ran. When my eyes took in my reflection, the truth began to dawn on me. Staring back at me through the mirror was Charlotte.

Slowly, I touched my hand to my face. In the mirror, Charlotte did the same. I turned my head to the right. So did Charlotte. I pinched my cheeks, slapped my face, trying to find something to wake me. But I was already awake.
“Oh, Char, what have you done?” I whispered. The Charlotte in the mirror, of course, asked the same thing. I turned from the mirror and walked back through the passageway to the lab. Charlotte was now standing and staring at her hands. She turned them over and examined every inch before exploring the rest of her body.
“Charlotte?” I said. She moved her gaze to me and slowly put her hands down.
“It worked,” she said softly. I took a few steps toward her.
“What did you do, Charlotte?” I asked.
“Charlotte?” she answered, gaining an air of authority. “Are you okay, Char? Because I’m Abby. You’re Charlotte, remember? I don’t know what happened, but whatever you did must’ve done something to your memory. You’ve never been confused like this before.”
“My memory?” I asked, now bewildered. “What are you talking about? Charlotte, you’re the brainy one, the one who does experiments and gets straight A’s. I came over here tonight for your experiment. Now tell me why I look like you and you look like me!” A puzzled look came over her face.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you Char, but I’m going home. I have to call Sebastian. I’ll talk to you tomorrow though, okay?” She began walking past me toward the passageway, but I grabbed her arm.
“Nothing is wrong with me!” I shouted at her. “Why are you doing this?” She gently pried my fingers from her arm and patted my hand.
“Listen,” she said. “I think maybe you should just get some rest for tonight and see if you feel better tomorrow. You’re clearly not yourself right now.” She turned to leave again. I stood in shock.
“Char….” I said.
“Let’s get something straight,” she said in a frustrated tone. She turned back towards me. She had a no-funny-business look on her face. “I’m Abby, you’re Charlotte. Got it? Now good night.” She turned to leave again, and this time I let her go. I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do.
“Oh, and one more thing,” she said as she reached the door. “I wouldn’t go around other people trying to say that you’re me. It’ll only make them think that there’s something wrong with you.” She turned once more to face me. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?” she asked coldly. I didn’t say a word. She smirked, and then went out the door. A wave of nausea overcame me, and I sank to the floor on my knees. What’s going on?

Wallis · 06-05-2007, 04:24 PM

I like it, well the style. It's cute, and has a very peculiar sense of realism to it. (In the first 3/4 of course,) Something about it reminds me exactly of girls in my school. It's good, but I didn't like the end. It reminded of a disney film or two, in the sense of swapping bodies. But I'm sure you've got something original waiting around the corner in the second bit.

Also, this is my preference in writing, but I thought the atmosphere was non-existent. Although maybe you didn't want it to be there, I just like pieces with atmosphere and think that the end would've benefitted with a bit more attention to detail.

Just the last bit though, honestly, the rest was really good. I'll read part two tomorrow since it's late (over here). But there is something about the evolution of relationship that gives it a movie like sensation. It's quick yet on the ball and very effective. Good overall.

VinrAlfakyn · 06-05-2007, 06:56 PM

I'm glad you liked it. I didn't actually mean for it to be in two separate parts. I wrote it as one whole, but when I tried to post, it wouldn't let me because altogether it was too long. *shrug* I hope you like the rest of it, and I appreciate your comments!