Busdriver

I am writing a humorous cozy set in Norfolk, VA with a sidekick who is a retired sailor and still speaks "sailor". In addition to calling everybody Shipmate he uses a lot of old nautical terminology and insults. Do you think I can use the following lines even if the reader does not know what they mean?

You don't know the port side from the poop deck.

You don't know the lizard line from the chow line.

You don't know a monkey's fist from a rat-tailed stopper.

Thanks,

Ed



P.S.
Port side and poop deck are locations on a ship.

The lizard line is a rope used in handling small boats, the chow line is the queue outside the galley.

And monkey's fist and rat-tailed stopper are knots.

qwertyman

They are not funny to read straight from the page. They could be funny in a suitable context. Said at the right moment to the right individual.

Here's a tip - never explain your jokes.

Nickie

You can certainly use these lines, but (as qwertyman already said) in the appropriate context.


Nickie

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Busdriver

Here is what I meant. I had hoped that, even if the reader doesn't understand the reference it would still sound funny.

Example in context
My sleuth is a transit-bus driver in Norfolk, Virginia, the side-kick, Boats, is a retired Navy-Viet Nam vet, who still speaks sailor. In this scene a guy is telling his buddy that he just joined the Army and telling him about all of the benefits, especially your own M-16!

Boats tries to tell the guy that his recruiter was pulling his leg; he’ll get a rifle but no bullets. He just has to carry it around all day and shine it up each night.

The guy tells Boats, You’re crazy, hell, you ain’t even got no guns in the Navy.”

Boats says:

“Did you say we ain’t got no guns in the Navy? Shipmate, you don’t know the lizard line from the chow line! You want to know how many guns I, myself am qualified to operate: the Colt 45, Berretta 9mm, M-14, M-15, M-16, and 50 calibre machine gun, and these are just the small arms! I shot a ship’s 3-inch gun, 5-inch gun, and even a 16-inch gun!

Yeah, I know the Army’s got their 155mm Howitzer. But if you run out of gas downtown Norfolk and can’t get home to Virginia Beach, you know what the Army will tell you? They’ll say, ‘Too bad.’ If you tell the Navy that you’re stranded they’ll tell you, ‘No problem Shipmate, just push your car down here to the Battleship Wisconsin and we’ll shoot her 20 miles to the Oceanfront.’ “