Extracts from “Moonlighting” (Werewolf/vamp fic) - Writers Forum

mashowasho · 05-16-2007, 06:11 PM

mashowasho · 05-16-2007, 06:12 PM

Fictionfreak · 05-17-2007, 08:04 AM

I'm surprised that nobody has read this yet.

Masho- This story is great. And it's not just well written, it's very well written. The characters are well mapped out, and within the short time span I've read about them, I already have become attatched to them. And when I was reading your list of characters, I liked the idea of Robbie, a guy who can't talk but shows mysterious characteristics. His character idea alone, already drew me in.

Your characters are so great, in fact, I thought you were already published.

Your might do good with a little more description of your setting, I have no idea where the characters are, and the only place you gave to visualize was Cara's cabin.

The story advances at a nice pace, and the end left me wanting more. I think you pulled the whole Vampire/Werewolf thing off nicely. Your characters are not mindless flesh eaters, which is a good thing, especially in a monster story. You've given your monster's human-like emotion. Which is perfect. Frankenstien reeped huge success as a book because of doing things like that.

Hope my comments have made your day. Your writing, whether you haven't written for a while or not, is pretty solid. And I hope my suggestion about the setting helps you.

Keep it up- the freakist of all fictionfreaks, fictionfreak.

Akroma · 05-18-2007, 03:44 AM

YAY for more Vampires and Werewolves!!! Ah this is brilliant. And YAY for Ravens lol. Well Cara and Viktor obviously hate each other's guts and poke and prod each other at every opportunity but I'll bet they end up falling in love

And then something awful happens to one of them? Taking wild guesses but I shall guess no more, I shall read on! ON I SAY!

mashowasho · 05-18-2007, 08:30 PM

C.C.Benjamin · 05-19-2007, 01:17 AM

Do yourself a favour and change the name of the main vampire from "viktor" to something else.

Victor was the head-vampire-honcho's name in Underworld, which is going to be probably your prime popular culture comparison. Also, the word "Viktor" looks a bit silly, IMO.

And if your main werewolf is called Lucien I'd just quit now! (this last line is a joke!)

I haven't really read the story though, because its 7am and im going back to bed...I may do later.

mashowasho · 05-19-2007, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C.C.Benjamin

Do yourself a favour and change the name of the main vampire from "viktor" to something else.

Victor was the head-vampire-honcho's name in Underworld, which is going to be probably your prime popular culture comparison. Also, the word "Viktor" looks a bit silly, IMO.

And if your main werewolf is called Lucien I'd just quit now! (this last line is a joke!)

I haven't really read the story though, because its 7am and im going back to bed...I may do later.

The name are all temporary until I can think of better ones, yeah. Unfortunately names aren't my strong point :S

C.C.Benjamin · 05-19-2007, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mashowasho

The name are all temporary until I can think of better ones, yeah. Unfortunately names aren't my strong point :S

If it helps, I feel your pain. I am good at judging names, IMO, but I can't think them up to save my damn life!

J.E.L.M. · 07-24-2007, 07:38 AM

Well, it's been a long time since I posted on here, but I just wanted to show this. I was making a few book covers for my own stories (don't ask) and I decided to make one for Moonlighting. I thought it turned out pretty well so I just wanted to show it off here...

I'm not planning on coming back to the forum or anything, just wanted to show this off

. Image isn't very clear, but I couldn't make it any better.
Hope to see more of the story soon...