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Old 05-05-2007, 07:42 AM   #1
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Trial By Fire

I've decided to test the waters and share one of my stories. I wrote this one for my Creative Writing class a year and a half ago. I've been tweaking it ever since and I think I'm finally okay with it...for now. I'm thinking of letting this be the first chapter to a longer piece, but I'm not sure yet.

Here goes:

Part 1


Trial By Fire

By Elisa Cortez

"No!! Don't touch me!" the lady screamed, terrified as she felt his large, gloved hand on her arm. He immediately complied, but didn't move away from her.
"Please!! Don't hurt me! Get away from me!" she bellowed, fear in her southern accented voice.
He took off his helmet and gloves to show her he was no threat, but that didn't ease her angst.
"Y'ain't supposed to be here! Y'ain't supposed to be here!" she repeated adamantly.
He suddenly realized that this frightened elderly lady knew. She knew as soon as she saw him, even with the full gear on. He made a mental note to make sure she wouldn't remember anything before the paramedics drove her to the hospital.
"Ma'am," he said calmly, his voice powerful but soothing, "I am not going to hurt you. I need you to calm down so I can help you." He tried to reach out for her again. "I need to carry you out of the building. It is burning and can collapse any moment now." He kept his eyes on her face, searching for any sign of composure.
Still very skeptical and shaking, she had no choice but to comply so she nodded, agreeing for him to carry her out of the old and neglected apartment building. She couldn't stop staring at his gleaming blue eyes inching closer, mesmerizing and almost hypnotic as he kept his gaze on her, hoping she wouldn't go back to screaming again. She didn't. Carefully and methodically, he pulled her frail body to him and positioned her over his shoulder. He slowly raised himself and hurriedly began to make his way out of the building with the last victim safely on him.
"How did you know?" he asked her as he stopped to check a door for an exit.
"I...I...don't know. I just knew. Then, when I saw your eyes," she said, her voice still a bit shaky, "they...I couldn't see myself in 'em." He listened as she continued in between coughs, clueing him in that the smoke had reached their floor, "And your hand...it was so cold. I felt it straight through my bones."
He continued to walk briskly through the building, still searching for the exit; the smoke produced by the fire making it difficult to find.
She knew. He still couldn't believe it. He saw the wisdom and experience in her aged eyes, her completely white hair giving away her senior status, but she was still so much younger than he was. He just couldn't fathom it. He decided to read her thoughts to confirm it.
She knew who, or rather what, he was. The odd thing was that she was not afraid of him anymore. She was even worried he hadn't fed in a while.
"Waldgrave, this is Captain Gallagher. Do you read me? Where the hell are ya, Waldo?" The deep, raspy voice that came from his radio interrupted his thoughts. He stopped walking to answer the call.
"This is Waldgrave. I am on the third floor in front of apartment...305. I need an exit!"
"Okay. I got ya, Waldo. The stairs in sector A are not involved. Take those. Did you receive?"
"Clear, captain. Sector A stairs are not involved. I'm on my way." He turned left and began his trek to the stairway.
"Wald, is the vic with you?"
He pushed the button on the radio one last time to let Captain Gallagher know the lady was conscious, alert and safely on her way down as well.
****~*~*~****
His shift ended at four thirty in the morning. At exactly that time, his body went from feeling energetic and alive to feeling tired and weak, indicating his impending slumber. He needed to leave the station soon if he was to make it to his coffin before sunrise. But first, he needed to feed. The lady had been right. It had been two weeks and it was beginning to show. He was in the firehouse sleeping quarters when he noticed his hands already had the telltale glow indicating his lack of nourishment. He walked to the mirror and noticed that his face had gotten the same glow and was now ashen it was so pale. He had to get out of there before the rest of the B shift crew saw him.
"Get outta here, kid! You're beginning to scare me." The captain had opened the door without knocking and chuckled after seeing him glowing brightly in the dark. "Go grab some plasma or something. See ya tomorrow night, Wald. Come back nice and warm-blooded, alright?"
He chuckled in amusement at the captain's wit. "Alright, captain. I will see you tomorrow night. You get some rest, too." He was already walking out the door when he remembered and turned back to ask Gallagher, "Sir, is Mrs. Brown going to be alright?" He had learned the lady's name as he helped carry her on the stretcher to the awaiting ambulance.
"Yeah, kid. She's gonna be fine. She didn't inhale too much smoke thanks to your heroic efforts. You done good, son." The captain paused, patting Waldo on his back, and then added, "Oh and don't worry. She doesn't remember a thing."
"Thank you, sir," he smiled in gratitude, "See you tomorrow."
He walked out of the station, thankful that he had someone to confide in.
He decided to walk home. He had to go through the Montrose area where he knew for sure blood tasted the sweetest, so he didn't mind the long stroll from station 25 to River Oaks. He made sure his sense of smell was heightened as he made his way, lurking in between buildings, through the streets of the Houston sector famous for its alternative lifestyle.
'A-negative. No. Too tart.' he thought as he watched a tall, blonde prostitute make her last round before the night was over.
'AB-positive. Ugh,' he shuddered as he walked by a bum sleeping on a Metro bench. 'A rare delicacy, but getting rid of the ghastly smell from the coffin can be quite tedious.'
'B-positive. Sweet. Perfect.' he assessed as he watched a drag queen walk past him clad in a red leather halter top and matching mini skirt complete with shiny black four inch stilettos.
The vampire, driven by his intense hunger, trailed her until he was mere inches behind. The human turned to see who was stalking her, but as quickly as she turned, he put her in a trance that immediately made her slave to his inherent sensuality. He gently tipped her head and leaned into her neck. As his fangs slowly grew, he punctured her supple flesh there. Her blood seeped into his welcoming mouth and he blissfully tasted and felt the sweet thickness of the nectar. He took what he needed, making sure she still kept enough strength to walk. After releasing her neck, he smiled at the spellbound victim, looked into her eyes, pressed his index finger to her forehead and said, "Forget." She turned from him and walked away as if nothing had happened.
He kept on walking, feeling his body regain the human warmth it had been desperately lacking. He was not glowing anymore so he continued his trek on the sidewalks from then on. After a few blocks, he stopped dead in his tracks in front of the large window of an all-night diner. There, he saw someone he never thought he would see again.
"Gabrielle," he whispered after realizing he had been speechless and still for quite a while.

This IS double spaced in my saved file. I don't know why it didn't transfer as such. Apologies for the clumped up mess.
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Old 05-05-2007, 07:45 AM   #2
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Part 2

Memories of her flooded his mind as he took in the sight of the beautiful, dark haired waitress going about her duty with the captivating smile he had thought of as his own ages ago.
The year was 1792. He had just turned 18 when his father, the lord of a large estate in Transylvania, had taken in a French family to work for the Waldgraves. Lord Waldgrave introduced the Devereauxs to the household. There were three sisters, two brothers and the parents, Mr. Jaques and Mrs. Angelique. Lord Waldgrave's only son greeted each person politely, but what he was anxiously waiting for was his father's introduction of the youngest Devereaux and the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen in his life. A nudge to his shoulder broke the trance in which the 16-year-old girl with the honey-colored eyes, smooth caramel skin and ebony tresses had him.
"Do not be rude, son. Stop ogling and say hello to Gabrielle."
"He...hello...Gabrielle. It is very nice to meet you."
"Bon jour, monsieur." The 16-year-old beauty curtsied and smiled at him as she returned his greeting. That was all it took. He fell in love with her in that instant.
The family quickly settled in and fell into a comfortable routine in their daily labor. The young Waldgrave sought this opportunity to spend every possible moment with young Miss Gabrielle Devereaux. Their evenings were spent talking, laughing and learning about each other under the huge century old oak tree in the middle of the vast backyard of the Waldgrave estate.
The sound of the door chimes startled him out of his reverie when a customer walked out of the diner. He looked at his watch and decided to go in for a closer look at his former lover's double; her long, silky locks now held back from her face in a pony tail. It made her look as young and as innocent as she did all those years ago, he remembered. He still had about forty-five minutes before sunrise, so he picked the booth behind the one he had seen her wait on and sat down. He grew nervous as he saw her walking out of the kitchen headed towards his table.
She was smiling at him. She looked so jovial and bubbly, he wondered if she had just started her shift.
"Hello. My name is Angie. What can I get for ya?" She greeted him with the angelic voice he had committed to memory.
"He...hello...Gabr...uh...Angie. Would it be possible to get my order to go?"
"Sure. No problem." He sensed her watching him intently as he perused the menu.
"I will have scrambled eggs and bacon and three buttermilk pancakes to go, please." He had decided to give the breakfast to the bum he had seen just a few blocks away being as he had no use for it.
Angie jotted the order down on her notepad and smiled at him as she said, "I'll be back with your order.” She was about to turn to go, when she remembered to ask, “Oh...would you like anything to drink with that?"
"Oh yes. Must have something to wash it all down, right? Apple juice."
"Got it." She smiled at him again and walked off to place the order.
After watching her go into the kitchen, he sat at his table on the deserted diner, and listened to her tell the man about the mysterious-looking, handsome young guy sitting at table 3 waiting for his to-go order. She told Carl, as he had heard her call him, he seemed familiar, but couldn't remember where or when she had seen him. She also told the cook she got a strange, tingly feeling when she grabbed the menu from him. That was all he needed to hear, now certain it was his Gabrielle who had taken his order.
He decided to just leave after paying for the food, not trusting himself to control his urge to embrace and kiss the only woman he had ever loved. He would come back, he determined. He thanked her and left the diner, going back to the Metro bench to place the bag next to the still sleeping, homeless man.
Continuing on his way home, he didn't feel the presence of the figure following him.
"I see you found her." The deep, thunderous voice made him stop and turn abruptly.
"Larek!" He could not believe his eyes. He had thought he had escaped Larek's radar for good by moving to the new world almost two centuries before. Larek had the same intimidating effect on him as he did when they first met. He was as tall and breathtakingly handsome as the younger man, but was the complete opposite of him. Where he had short, dark brown straight hair, Larek had long, blond curly locks held back in a low ponytail. Larek's eyes were also a contradiction. They were dark brown compared to his ice blue ones, but still they were infinitely more menacing and sinister.
"Hello Julian." Larek smiled sardonically. "It has been a long time."
"Not long enough. How did you find me?" The initial shock was being replaced quickly by anger.
"A sire always knows where his fledgling is, my child." He ignored Julian's scoff at his endearment and continued coolly, "I see you still hold that grudge against me."
"Did you really think I could forgive you for what you did to me? To her?" He bit back, a painful look in his luminous eyes.
The older, more powerful vampire closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye.
"You are mine, Julian Waldgrave. I gave you the gift!" Larek was about to caress his face when Julian pushed his hand away in disgust.
"The gift? I did not ask for this! You took me against my will!" He turned and began to walk away, not wanting Larek to see the red tears that had started to run down his cheeks. The memory of seeing his beloved die at the hands of this creature made his lifeless heart ache.
"Is she the reason why you reject it? That little harlot..." He didn't finish his sentence. At hearing the last word, Julian lunged at him in full force.
Larek, anticipating his attack, merely raised his hand and without touching Julian, stopped him in mid flight. With a flick of his wrist, he flung Julian all the way across the street. Larek's overpowering strength made him hit a brick wall so hard, it collapsed on top of him.
Julian just got up, dusted himself off and began to walk away, deciding to just continue on his journey home. Dawn was fast approaching and he didn't have enough time or strength to fully deal with Larek just then.
"I will see you soon, my child." The voice whispered in his mind menacingly.
****~*~*~****
The following night, Julian awoke to the realization that he had not been free of Larek's grasp, not by a long shot. He couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, even in his own home. He wondered why he hadn't felt it from the beginning, since he first moved to America. He dreaded the walk to work and wished he could just blink and be at the station in a second. As quickly as his thought entered his mind, Julian was at the station. A bit shocked and startled, he looked at his surroundings, acclimating himself for a moment. Finally, he recognized the brick building and the few SUV's and pick-up trucks parked there so he proceeded to walk into the firehouse. He saw that everyone was gathered around the dining table. Some were studying for their weekly quiz and some were just lounging around or snacking.
"Waldo! You're early, man! Fell out of bed or somethin'?" Mark, the pipeman, asked him as soon as he saw Julian walk in the door.
"Hello everyone." Julian greeted everyone distractedly, still confused and thinking about what had just happened.
"I guess so..." Mark answered mostly to himself, feeling ignored.
"Hey man!" Joseph shouted from behind the book he was reading. "Glad you came early. Your girlfriend here was missing you." He chuckled, pointing at Mark.
"Yeah! And you should have comforted me, you big, insensitive lug." Mark ran to Joseph and grabbed his face and gave him a loud smacking kiss full on the lips.
Joseph pushed Mark away, looking very annoyed, and said in a strong, determined voice, "Stop that, you pansy!" He walked over to where Julian was standing and paused to see the tension in their faces and then proceeded to say, in a very girly fashion, "You're gonna make your sweetie here jealous," pinching Julian's butt in the process. Joseph had noticed his brooding so he tried to lighten his mood.
Even if he was just a volunteer, Julian was considered one of them. Every single firefighter there treated him as an equal, as a brother. They made him feel needed, important and with a purpose. They made him feel...human. That last thought reminded him of how Larek had turned him that fateful night of his 21st birthday into the vile creature he was:
He had struggled for a long while but Larek's strength was so great, Julian knew he didn't stand a chance, so he just gave up and let him do what he wanted. Julian had been certain Larek was going to kill him. There was no other explanation for what he was doing to him, but the following night, he had woken realizing he was not dead. He sat up in one quick jerk and looked around. His eyes widened in horror as he noticed he had been lying inside a coffin. He jumped out immediately and ran around the spacious room looking for the door. He had to get out of there. He had to find out what was happening to him. He felt as if his body was floating instead of running and he heard voices and sounds coming from every direction. They were coming from near and far, he realized. He could even hear his father breathing in his sleep…on the second floor of the main house across the field from Larek’s sleeping quarters. Julian’s hands were cupped tightly at his ears. The noises were just too many for his new sensitive hearing and his new, untrained vampire body. Larek followed his every move the whole time, like a proud father watching his son take his first steps.
"Where am I?!" He screamed so loud, the walls shook. He realized then his voice had also changed.
"You are in my quarters." He heard the familiar voice of his tutor. "Do not fear, my child. I will teach you everything..." Larek tried to approach him, but Julian remembered the struggle from the night before and he drew back away so fast, he was on the opposite wall before Larek could touch him.
"What have you done to me?" His angry voice was a few decibels lower.
Julian was looking at himself, noticing the new pale hue of his skin. All kinds of different smells and textures also seemed to be invading his newly acquired preternatural senses. It was just too much for Julian to deal with.
"This is my birthday gift to you, Julian. You are mine now…my child…"
His recollection was interrupted by the loud sound of the siren indicating there was a new call coming in. There was a fire at one of the buildings of the university close by.
"That's us, Waldo! Joe! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" Mark ran past trying to get to the truck as fast as he could. Julian and Joseph followed right behind him. They all rushed to the pumper, put on their gear and drove off in a rush to carry out their mission.
****~*~*~****
"Wow, man! You really know your stuff. What you did back there for those students...man! That was incredible!"
"Yeah, Jules! Why don't you just apply and get paid for doing this? Work the full 24-hour shifts with us, man. Or are you just too good for us mere mortals?"
Joseph had been joking, but that last question sure did make Julian's head turn quickly and stop what he was doing. He had no idea what to say to that. There was no excuse he could give them for not being able to work a full shift.
"Um...well...um..."
Captain Gallagher, who had heard the conversation while he was coming out of his office, interrupted Julian.
"You know how small our budget is, guys. We don't need another salary to shrink ours."
'Saved by the bell,' Julian thought as he laughed along with the others.
"Captain, may I have a word with you?"
"Sure, kid. Step into my office." They both walked the few yards to Captain Gallagher's office and he closed the door behind them, ignoring the wolf whistles and catcalls the other men were making outside.
"They're a sick bunch, you know that? I ought to fire their asses." He chuckled and then continued, "Now, what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
"Well," he hesitated. "You see...something unusual happened."
"What's that?"
"Last night, after I got ready to come here, one moment I was in my room wishing I did not have to walk to work and the next I was here outside the station. I just thought it and it happened...instantly."
"I see."
"It took me a second to realize where I was, but then everything felt normal again. Am I making any sense? It was...strange."
"Ah...my little fledgling is growing up."
"Growing up? What do you…Wait! You mean...you know about this?"
The captain nodded. "How old are you, Julian? I mean...how old are you...REALLY?"
"I am approximately two hundred and thirty one years old."
"Just as I thought."
"What? What is it, captain? What do you know that I do not? And more precisely, how is it that you know about this?"
"Julian, I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell you. Promise me that just as I've kept your secret, you will keep mine."
"Captain, you know I will. You are the only human I trust. In return, rest assured you can do the same with me."
"I know, Wald. I know." The captain smiled and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder, a paternal gesture. "Well, the reason I know about your changes is because I was...well...” He paused and scratched his neck nervously. “Wow! There's no easy way to say this," Julian was expectantly watching the captain pace the office back and forth. "The reason I know this is because I was a vampire once, too." He stopped pacing and turned to face Julian to see his reaction.
"What?" Julian could not believe what he had just heard. "What do you mean you were a vampire once? How did you become human again?" He had so many questions and after the captain's revelation, he had even more.
"First things first. You see, once you become a vampire, you don't ever change physically, but as you age, you do acquire more 'powers' so to speak. You are at about the right age, just like my sire told me."
"What powers does one get? Are they the same for every vampire? I apologize, captain. I have so many questions."
"I'll try to answer as many as I can, son." The captain comforted the apprehensive creature that was looking to him for answers. "The boons, as my sire called them, are different for each vampire. You just have to wait and see what you'll get. Just don't freak out. Take your time to learn each one and master them as they are acquired."
"But I do not desire to have more powers." He protested. "I want to...How is it possible for a vampire to become human again, captain?"
"Julian, I don't think it's a good idea to..."
"Why not?" He interrupted. He had carried that curse for too long. He was desperate, and now that he had hope, he wanted to know for sure.
"I'm not sure the ritual will work on so young a vampire."
"Ritual?"
The captain nodded. "There is a price to pay as well, my boy."
"Tell me. I am willing to pay any price."
"Well..."
****~*~*~****
Julian decided to walk home again. He had to put his thoughts in order, especially about the ritual. The captain hadn't beat around the bush. He told him everything that had to be done. He needed to come to a decision: would becoming human again be worth the price that had to be paid?
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Old 05-05-2007, 07:47 AM   #3
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Part 3

As Julian came upon the diner, he saw Angie wiping away at empty tables. Almost as if she had sensed him, she turned to look out the window and found him staring in. She smiled as soon as their eyes met. Instinctively, Julian smiled back and walked in.
"Hello again. Was it that good?" She had the same cheerful attitude as the night before.
Julian sighed and nodded. "Yes. I had to come back for some more of those delectable pancakes."
"Well, have a seat, kind sir. I'll be right with you." Angie went to the back to get a menu and came back to find Julian sitting at the same table he had chosen before.
"I brought a menu just in case you were feeling a little adventurous and wanted to try something new."
"That will not be necessary. Thank you. I will have the same as yesterday."
"Alright, then. I'll go place your order. To go, right?"
He simply nodded. She went into the kitchen and Julian again heard what she said to the cook.
"Carl, I need scrambled eggs and bacon and three buttermilk pancakes to go, please."
"Comin' right up, darlin'. Anyone interesting this time?"
"Oh Carl, it's the same handsome mystery man from yesterday. He looks so good in that navy blue t-shirt and slacks. I think he's a firefighter. He's got some kind of emblem on the shirt. I didn't want to stare and have him think I was weird or something."
Julian chuckled at this. He was definitely enjoying this particular power.
"Well, go find out, sugar. You won't find you a husband hidin' back here with this old man."
"Carl!! Really! Who said I was looking for a husband?"
"Sweetie, I know you. I've known you for a while now. A pretty girl like you...and nice to boot...deserves a good man."
"But how do we know he's a good man?"
Julian raised his eyebrows. 'Of course I'm a good...man. At least...you used to think so.' He thought as he remembered Gabrielle.
"That's why you shouldn't be back here, girl. You should be out there findin' out for sure. Now shoo! I'll call you when the order's ready."
She giggled and walked out of the kitchen towards Julian. He hid his amused face behind the menu she had left on the table as he heard her come out, pretending he hadn't heard a thing.
"Your order will be right out, sir."
He looked up at her and smiled. "Thank you, Angie."
"Hey, you remembered!" She couldn't believe how happy that little detail made her feel.
"I have a very good memory."
"Well, that's not fair. You know my name, but I don't know yours."
"Julian. My name is Julian." He said, shyly.
"Julian. That's a beautiful name. I like it."
"Thank you." If he could, he would've blushed bright red.
"Angie, is that short for..."
"Angelica. I was named after my...great, great, great...Oh heck! I forget how many greats there are. I was named after one of my ancestors. Although, her name was French: Angelique."
"Ah...I see.” He knew very well about whom she was talking. “Beautiful name as well. I...like it. Parle vous Francais?"
"Oui. Un peu."
"Oo la la. Tres bien, mademoiselle." He flashed her a smile so beautiful it made her catch her breath.
"Merci. Well, I think I should go check on that order..."
"Sure." He saw her fanning herself with her hand as she disappeared into the kitchen again.
"Carl!" she squealed, "He is so cute! He likes my name and he speaks French! Well, at least I think he does. He only spoke a few words, but nonetheless...I mean...Wow! There’s something strange, too. I feel like I've known him forever. I felt that yesterday, too. Isn't that weird?" She was talking fast, but Julian was hanging on her every word.
"He could be The One, honey. Look at you. You're practically glowing."
"Oh Carl...I don't even think he's interested."
"He came back, didn't he? Two in a row, baby."
"Hey, is the order ready?"
"Not yet. I'll let you know."
"Oh you are bad, Carl." She giggled again and walked out.
She began her apology even before reaching the table. "I am so sorry. We are usually not this slow. The order will be out soon, I promise."
Julian didn't care. He still had time and he wanted to spend it with her.
"No problem, Angie. I am enjoying your company."
"Why, thank you, Julian. I’m enjoying yours, too." She blushed a bit as she smiled at him.
"I mean it. That is why I came back." He saw her eyes widen in disbelief. She was trying to hide her reaction at his words, but he knew she was glad he had said that.
“If I may be so bold, I feel as if we have known each other for a long time.” He had to risk it. He searched her face for a reaction and found that she was a bit surprised to have heard him say that.
“Funny you should say that. I was just telling the cook the same thing about you…” She blushed when she realized she had just given herself away.
“It was destiny, I think. How would you…?” He was interrupted by the sound of a bell.
“Oh…that’s your order. It’s ready.” She felt a twinge of disappointment their conversation had come to an abrupt halt.
Julian paid for the order and before he turned to go, he grabbed her hand and placed a chaste kiss on the back of it, letting his lips linger a few seconds longer. “Until tomorrow, sweet Angelica. Have a pleasant day.”
Angie had to hold her breath to stop a sigh from escaping her mouth. “See you tomorrow, Julian. Take care.” With that, he turned and left.
As soon as he stepped out of the diner, the dread of finding Larek lurking around, following his every move, returned. After dropping the breakfast off, he decided not to risk running into him on the rest of his way home, so he just thought about it and was immediately transported to his bedroom.
****~*~*~****
Julian suddenly sensed a presence behind him after he placed the breakfast bag on the side of the familiar sleeping man on the Metro bench.
"Why do you insist on following me?" He didn't stop to wait for his answer. He started walking, knowing well that Larek would follow.
"I gave you my answer to that question two weeks ago."
"I am not your property, Larek. Besides, if you so desperately feel the need to be paternal, go make yourself another companion." Julian chuckled, taunting him in return.
Larek went silent for a moment, not expecting Julian's words to hurt as much as they did just then, his luminous eyes giving away his sadness.
"You know very well I can not sire another."
"You should have chosen your fledgling more carefully then."
Larek stopped walking and made Julian stop as well. They were a block away from Julian's house and sunrise was fast approaching.
"Enough!" He protested, his resonant voice echoing loudly, "You will do as I say and come with me or I will kill your new found friend...again."
He used every possible weapon he could to get Julian back. He knew Gabrielle was the strongest one. The fear and anger in Julian's face spoke volumes. He couldn't let Larek hurt her in any way, especially since he had just found her again. He desperately wanted to find a way to stop him, but Larek was just too ancient and powerful. He couldn't compete with that kind of evil.
"Why did my father have to hire you as my tutor?" Despair in his voice, he asked this rhetorically, more to himself, but Larek answered anyway.
"He really did not have a choice. His mind was weak. It was easy." He waited for Julian's answer. Receiving none, Larek disappeared, but not before saying, "I will see you soon, my child."
****~*~*~****
“Captain, he came to me again today before dawn. He insists I go with him. He threatened to kill Gabr…Angie. How can I stop him? I am nowhere near as powerful as he is.” He was pacing the captain’s office, anger and helplessness apparent.
The captain had been silent and pensive while Julian explained what had happened between him and Angelica and between him and Larek. It was obvious that Julian was still desperately in love with Gabrielle/Angelica and Larek was the only obstacle in the way of their happiness. Not another word had been spoken about the ritual in over a week, but the captain was convinced. It was time to see if it could work in a youngling.
“Let’s do it, Wald.”
Julian knew exactly what he was talking about. “But, captain…”
“No butts, kid. We’re doing it. I’m going to help you.”
“No! I am not letting you do this.”
“And why not? Do you know of anyone else who’d do this for you?”
“No.” He answered in defeat.
“So then, problem solved. We’ll meet at the cemetery right before dawn tomorrow.”
Julian’s cheeks were streaked with red. His eyes were glowing brightly. A single sob escaped from deep within his chest.
“Don’t worry, kiddo. I’ve lived a full life. I’ve experienced more than many a human could say they’ve experienced. I want you to have that, too…son.” Julian knew he meant it. He truly loved him like a son.
****~*~*~****
Julian got to the meeting place early the next day before dawn. His internal emotional battle was still going strong. On one hand, he was miserable because he knew he was going to lose Captain Gallagher. A life had to be sacrificed in order for him to live; one his lifeless heart had grown to love like a father. On the other, he was thrilled to be human again. He couldn’t wait to feel and taste and see everything as he remembered he once did, to see the sunlight again, but most of all, he couldn’t wait to be with Gabrielle/Angelica again.
“Hey kiddo. You ready?” The captain walked up to the gate and went in.
“Captain…I…”
“Don’t, Julian.” He said sternly. “We’ve already talked about this. We are doing it! I’m ready.”
Julian just looked at the captain, the battling emotions obvious on his face. The captain ignored this. He was determined and was not going back on his word.
“Did you do what I told you?” Julian simply nodded. “Did you hide every single thought of this plan? We can’t have him know we are doing this.”
“Yes, captain. I blocked everything. He will have no idea.”
Julian had learned this from the captain. He taught him how to block and hide thoughts at will. Gallagher would conceal thoughts and Julian would try to read his mind. Not one time was he able to know what the captain was thinking. Julian was a quick learner. He was ready for his old tutor.
“Okay, then. Summon him. You know what to do.” The captain started to walk away but Julian stopped him.
“Wait, cap.” He did something he hadn’t done in a long time. He gave the captain a hug. “I will miss you. Thank you.”
The captain hugged him back and answered, “Awww…kid! Just do right by me, okay. You marry that girl and name a kid after me.” With that, he let go of Julian and walked over to hide behind a nearby tree.
“Larek!” He called to him knowing Larek followed him everywhere, sometimes only mentally, but always lurking somewhere near. The only place he didn’t stalk him at, Julian noticed, was the station.
“Have you come to your senses finally?” The distinctive powerful voice of his maker startled him as it always did, even when expecting it.
“I do not wish to go with you, Larek, but if it is the only way to save Angelica, I will.”
“Is that right? Well, how chivalrous of you.” Larek believed him after searching his mind and finding truth there. “Very well. Follow me. We shall gather our belongings and leave tomorrow night. Dawn is near.”
“Larek, wait. I sense a human. I am famished. I will share with you.”
“Very well. Do it quickly.”
Julian went to grab the captain and brought him to Larek in an instant. The captain was pretending to struggle and scream.
“Let go of me, you creep!” He cursed and kicked at Julian.
“Here, Larek, drink.” His face had a blank expression, his thoughts very well hidden. Larek took the captain’s hand and bit into it, making Gallagher screech out in pain. Julian just looked on and waited patiently.
There was no better high to a vampire than the moment when life began to leave a body on which it fed. Nothing else existed for Larek in that instant. As soon as he knew the captain’s life was slipping away while Larek was still in bliss sucking it out, Julian made his move and latched on to Larek’s neck. As fangs punctured flesh, Julian began to suck as much blood as he could out of Larek, as fast as possible. He had to drink every last drop of blood. He could taste the captain’s blood mixed in with Larek’s as it flowed into his mouth, but he felt no remorse. The beast in him had taken over and he felt stronger than ever. The sire’s powerful blood mixed with his, making Julian forget all about his purpose. He was in bliss himself as he felt the potent life source flow through his veins filling every inch of his body. He had never felt anything this intoxicatingly controlling and powerful before and he became addicted to it fast. He was flying high in a stupor and he didn’t want to come down from it. That is, until he got a flash of Gabrielle struggling to get free from the chains that held her to a wall as fire consumed her. He heard her screams of pain and panic and the spell was broken. Slowly, he began to realize what he was doing. He let Larek’s dead body drop to the ground, the captain’s going down with it. After coming off of his high, Julian took in the sight of the bodies lying dead next to him. It took him a while to assimilate all that had happened as he watched his sire’s body turn to ashes before his eyes. He remembered the ritual and wondered if it had worked after all. He was beginning to think he had been too young, as the captain had feared, but suddenly he felt a sharp stab in his stomach that made him double over in pain. It became so intense, he fell to the ground squirming and screaming. He tried to get up, but then …everything went black.
****~*~*~****
Five years later…
“Angie! Where is my badge?”
“It’s on the counter next to the mail, babe!”
“Got it. See you in 24 hours. Love you!”
“Julian! Wait!”
Angie came running from their bedroom to stop Julian at the front door before he left.
“What is it?”
“You forgot this…” She leaned in and kissed him tenderly. Julian deepened the kiss and hugged her to him tight. Reluctantly, he let her go.
“Mmmm…thanks for the reminder.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and smiled before turning to leave.
“See you in 24 hours, captain.” She said as she watched him walk away towards his car. She smiled at her husband, wondering whether to tell him about the pregnancy before or after their anniversary dinner that weekend.
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Old 05-05-2007, 07:55 AM   #4
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Your writing style reminds me of mine, though you have it much more perfected than I do. (I'm 17 and willing to bet you have more experience =P)

Anyway I really like it, though the first few lines of part one could use some work I think.(not to say the first few lines are bad, they just didn't draw me in as much as they could have) It didn't seem to really bog down in many (if any) parts, and If this means anything to you I think you do great dialog.

I didn't like the five years later part so much, mostly because I have no idea where you are going with the story after that.

Well written in my opinion.
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Old 05-05-2007, 08:38 PM   #5
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Posting one part of a larger piece at a time would probably be better than giving us three large chunks in a row. Perhaps wait for two or three responses and then post the next each time. I thought the writing was fairly good--minus the lack of depth in the beginning . . . it just doesn't feel real to me--but I would recommend spacing out your writing so it doesn't look like one large, unorganized clump. Paragraphs and spaces would make it look much more attractive, I promise. Keep writing, and I wish you the best of luck.

Colt
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Old 05-06-2007, 11:51 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex44
Your writing style reminds me of mine, though you have it much more perfected than I do. (I'm 17 and willing to bet you have more experience =P)

Anyway I really like it, though the first few lines of part one could use some work I think.(not to say the first few lines are bad, they just didn't draw me in as much as they could have) It didn't seem to really bog down in many (if any) parts, and If this means anything to you I think you do great dialog.

I didn't like the five years later part so much, mostly because I have no idea where you are going with the story after that.

Well written in my opinion.
Thank you for your critique, Alex. I'm glad you liked it. I agree with you about the Five years later part. I was going to leave that out since I LOVE sad endings, but my Creative Writing class was kinda tired of angsty endings. (Almost everyone else had someone die or kill themselves or kill someone else in their stories.) I felt the need to extra-fluff mine.

I wasn't planning on writing a "sequel" to it at first, but then I started thinking about those five missing years. This kinda cool idea popped into my head and I think I'm going to go with it for the next "chapter."

Quote:
Originally Posted by killned3
Posting one part of a larger piece at a time would probably be better than giving us three large chunks in a row. Perhaps wait for two or three responses and then post the next each time. I thought the writing was fairly good--minus the lack of depth in the beginning . . . it just doesn't feel real to me--but I would recommend spacing out your writing so it doesn't look like one large, unorganized clump. Paragraphs and spaces would make it look much more attractive, I promise. Keep writing, and I wish you the best of luck.

Colt
Hey Colt.

Thanks for taking the time to read my piece. I know. I read a critique on another story about posting several parts together, but it was already way after I had posted mine. Oops! I guess I just wanted people to read the whole thing at once. Since it had too many words to fit into one post, I just thought I'd post it in three back to back.

As for the depth and realism of the beginning, I actually consulted with a firefighter friend of mine because I wanted it to sound as close to the real firefighting action as possible. I'll ask him to read it again to see what he thinks of it now since it's been a while since I wrote it.

As for the spacing and paragraphs (or lack there of), it IS double spaced and paragraphed on my computer. It just didn't transfer that way when I copied and pasted it here. Okay, so I admit I was too lazy to space it out manually. Apologies.
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