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Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 11
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Hi Critique appreciated x
She knew what earth people must feel like to be a stranger in a foreign restaurant, no matter how many times you say your order, trying to take on part of their accent, they would never understand. Ham and cheese sandwich, No Haama and cheesa, La Haamaa ....anda..La .cheesaar. She was the one speaking the foreign language. She took a long deep sad sigh, her chest slowly rising with air then releasing instantly.
' Listen, I know everyone likes these earth ideas, it's our brainchild, our culture our raison d' etre as some might say, but nobody actually wants to be there, sometimes i do think about your sanity Alana". her eyes rolled to the ground half in shame half in defeat. "imagine sitting on a beach now on earth, pick somewhere".
"Thailand" She said without pausing for thought.
"Okay Thailand, the weather is hot and humid and sticky, to the point that it would make you perspire, a wet film of beady sweat would form around your body that would also give of an unpleasant stench to those around you", Alana did not take her stare away form the sand beneath her.
"Then the Mosquitos" he continued "tiny flying monster machines that can smell your blood a mile off, they land on your skin and insert tiny tubes into it to suck out your blood into their bellies, Leaving a bump full of poison which will cause itchiness". . Alana winced at the thought, although the thought was totally wrong.
Imagine yourself trying to explain to someone what an itch felt like, what words would you use, how you would phrase it, a hard task. Now trying to explain the sensation to someone who had never felt that sensation and you yourself had no idea what an itch actually felt like - impossible, although Jed gave it his best shot.
"Can you imagine that a sensation which does not feel like pain, but a burning desire to dig your nails deep into your flesh and drag them about until the sensation stops."
Mosquitos or "mossies"- the slang term on earth was one thing she could not comprehend - they had no purpose and surely everything was supposed to have a purpose?
" So then you go for a dip in the sea, which is full of dangerous, poisonous and sometimes man munching creatures, not to mention rubbish and the waste from humans who so freely release this mornings coffee into the sea and the boats which release last night curry. So you wade out from the toxic ocean to dry in the sun, the salt crystalizes creating unpleasantness and tightness around your body, you are unable to run your fingers through your tangled mess of knotted hair. The sand from the beach will stick to your body like metal fillings to a magnet and no matter what you do you will be finding pieces of it in unmentionable places that very evening". So you decide to retire to your hotel room, covered in itchy red bumps, salt encrusted body, matted dry hair, rough sand stuck to you and you look in the mirror and what do you see?
Alana clearly mistaking this for a rhetorical question makes no effort to reply.
"what do you see?"
"my reflection?" Said Alana obviously knowing this wasn't the answer he was looking for.
" A bright red, tomato resembling reflection, that's what you see, one that would burn in heat and ruin your appearance, one that would boil and bubble and blister, then just when you though it had gone down several days later your skin will peel of in patches. You really want to be there".
"i never said, I don't want to be there I just..." _ waited for an answer that he hoped would justify her clear mental issues. " ....I just wandered that's all".
"Well you know thats just the tip of the iceberg, those are the things that are almost guaranteed to happen, then there is still natural disasters" He reeled of a list in the same manner someone reads back their shopping list. "...tsunami's, disease, wandering stray-dogs carrying fleas and worms, irritating hawkers trying to sell you panpipes, the list is endless Alana".
" I know", Her eyes sad, like that of a lone baby deer, "i know, I was just thinking aloud, I didn't mean what I said, I was just thinking aloud, sorry" But a part of her, deep inside her body, a part which sometimes she though other people were missing, new this was untrue.
"Don't be sorry, there is nothing to be sorry about, If I was on earth I guess I would say something about the way you talk worries me" They both smile, pausing a moment, trying to understand what worry would actually feel like.
"well Don't worry about me, i'll be fine!" Alana reclined back onto the beach, gazing above her, contemplating the words which had just been said. She grabbed a handful of sand and watched it trickle through the gaps in her fingers, each white perfect grain slipping through returning to its home, it's rightful place.
"come on daydreamer, shall we watch the sunset then go?" said Jed, his head slightly tilted to one side looking down at her.
"yes, okay"
He tapped his device once again, the golden glowing sun made a slow descent, A perfect sunset, one that would bring humans to tears, one which would be repeated to friends and families, one which would go down as one of the best evenings of their life, the best sights of their life. One which is far to beautiful to be described by words alone. But alana had seen it before and she longed for the real thing, the real mcoy.
Last edited by alisha100 : 03-08-2007 at 08:44 PM.
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