Child of Wrath- The Shards of Atherton - Page 9 - Writers Forum

Crash_Tomas · 04-26-2007, 08:51 PM

Here's the Update, Quill~

Chapter Four...Continued~

My heart dropped with those words. All my hope of finally figuring something out was gone. I could barely breathe and tried to choke out some words that might help me. The man stared at me as I opened my mouth to speak but no words were coming out.

“I’m sorry, Riley,” he whispered. “I know he was there the day your father and King Caleb died.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” I finally said. “I shouldn’t have expected it to be so easy.”

We continued to walk towards the Order’s meeting room and once we arrived, the mood of everyone somehow changed. It could have been memories that flooded back once they stepped into the room, or maybe it was something else entirely.

“Please, sit,” I said and motioned for the chairs around the table.

“Aren’t you going to sit?” someone asked me. I didn’t pay attention to who it was, but I answered after a few moments.

“No,” I whispered. “I’d rather stand.”

“Shall we introduce ourselves?” the gray-haired man said. Grumbles of agreement filled the room and the man spoke again. “My name is Landon.”

“Ian.”

“Fenton.”

“Cornelius.”

“Gabriel.”

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” I said and nodded to each man. “So, you have come to speak of war. Let us speak, then.”

“Gornon is falling to the Kentons.” Landon said bluntly. “If we don’t go in and help them soon, there’ll be nothing left.”

“Why should we help them?” I asked.

“They are our allies. If we don’t help them, nobody will.” Landon replied.

“You’re saying my first act as King will be to lead our country to war?” I asked.

“Sadly, yes,” Landon answered. The room became silent as everyone thought about what was the right thing to do.

I looked around the men before me and saw their faces as they pondered. Ian’s face scrunched up a little and his bottom lip quavered as his piercing brown eyes darted around the table. Gabriel’s long black hair fell over his eyes as he looked down at the table. He held his hand up to his hairless chin and stroked it slowly.

“It is best,” Landon said and all eyes fell on him. His age commanded respect and his entire presence made the room feel at ease. “We shall go to war.”

“If it is for the best,” I said, “then I am willing to do whatever I have to.”

“It pleases me that you say that, Riley,” Landon replied. I smiled reassuringly and walked around the room.

“I have some questions, though,” I said as I kept walking.

“Anything you want to know,” Landon said.

“What exactly is the Seventh Order?” Landon thought for a moment before he spoke. I noticed his eyebrow crunch up as his eyes stared into mine.

“The Seventh Order, “he paused. “We serve as the King’s Cabinet of Advisors. We follow the orders of the King and help keep Ocala safe.”

“Why was the Seventh Order in Gornon, then?”

“King Rook ordered us there. To look after things.”

“Me?”

“Among other reasons.” Silence came again and I continued to walk around the room.

“So, what of Atherton?” I asked.

“Atherton has suffered its share,” Cornelius replied. He looked toward me with saddened eyes.

“What shall we do about it then?” Gabriel asked.

“Help them,” I answered. A terrible sinking feeling arose in me. I stopped suddenly as a sharp pain jolted in my stomach. I yelled in pain, but felt as if no sound came from my mouth. I keeled forward and tumbled into blackness.

To Be Continued...

Quillpen · 04-28-2007, 08:31 PM

wow! I feel special now *blush* Of course right nown i should be working on my own story not yours... By the way thhe very end part that leaves you hanging is that the end of a chapter or have just nt writen that part. it stands out leaving you wantiung more. it does well as the end of chapter

Crash_Tomas · 04-29-2007, 09:04 AM

It can't be the end of the chapter because chapter 4 only has 3 pages at this moment...and usually my chapters go up to 6 pages...I try leaving all my updates with a little cliffhanger...but some are just better than others~

Thanks though...

Quillpen · 05-03-2007, 06:39 PM

ohhh.... well, I liked it as cliffhanger anyways i can understand length cicumstances though.

Crash_Tomas · 05-30-2007, 08:49 PM

Here it is...a long time coming...more to chapter four...the last of it~
____

Air rushed by me and I struggled to calm my breaths. I was choking on too much air. I closed my mouth and tried breathing from my nose. It worked. I was caught in a spiral of darkness and was heading for a faint light at the bottom, or what I thought was the bottom. I turned myself around so that my feet would land first and waited until my fall would end.

I landed easily on soft ground.

“Have you come to save us?” I heard a somber voice ask.

I turned around in the darkness and searched for the keeper of the voice. But saw no one. My breathing became raspy as I realized where I was. I then started to wheeze when I heard the voice again.

“So, are you?” The somber tone had vanished. Now, all that was left was a stern and angry cackle.

It was a woman’s voice. I didn’t recognize it, but I did recognize my surroundings. Even in the darkness around me, I could see very well where I was.

Two trees sat parallel to each other. The soft ground I stood on was of sand. Waves from the ocean crashed against the shore and left the white fizz as it started back on its journey into the ocean once again. This place was my solitude. The Crossover.

“How did I get here?” I asked.

“First, answer me,” the woman ordered, her voice cracking in the midst of her madness.

“I don’t know how to answer,” I replied.

“Yes, or no?”

“It’s more complicated than that....”

“I believe you will save us.”

“And you are?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“Then we’re one in the same.”

“You could say that.” She smiled and stepped out of the darkness.

I finally could make out more of her face. She had dark blue eyes that glimmered off of the ocean and a mystifying air about her that comforted me. Her face was flattered by her small pink lips and a perfect nose. Her blonde hair was tied up behind her and she began studying me as I studied her.

“You will be a great King,” she said and smiled again. Her teeth shined in the dim light and were, for lack of a better word, perfect. “Do not worry, Riley,” she said. “All will be fine.”

“How do you know my name, when I don’t know yours?” I asked.

“You are the Child of Wrath. Who wouldn’t know your name?”

“Well--” I began, but never got the chance to finish. I was falling forward again. My stomach churned, my vision went dark and the next thing I knew, I was in blackness again.

“Goodbye, Riley,” I heard the woman say.

“Goodbye...”

I opened my eyes to see the men of the Seventh Order sitting in their chairs, waiting for me to speak again. It was as if I never left. Landon stared at me with intense eyes and I let my surprise show in my face.

“How would you go about helping them?” Landon asked.

“We are many,” I began and let the words soak in. “I believe that with our
numbers, we can become true allies and fight for Atherton’s survival.”

“So, you are saying War is inevitable?”

“Yes.” I nodded.

“It’s settled. We shall bring War back to Ocala,” Landon said with finality.

“This meeting is adjourned, then,” Gabriel said.

The other men nodded in agreement and began standing up again. They each walked up to me, shook my hand and walked out into the hallway to wait for the other men. Landon was the last to leave the room and he turned back to face me as he stood in the doorway.

“Your Father would be proud of you,” he said and locked in on my eyes.

“Thank you,” I replied and watched Landon turn into the hallway.

The men of the Seventh Order were proud and loved their country. As they left, I couldn’t help but feel as if I had become equal in their eyes. I stood outside of the doorway to the meeting room and watched them walk through the door to the entrance and disappear as the giant doors closed behind them.

“They are good men, Riley,” my mother’s voice broke the short silence. I turned to see her standing behind me. “Be the Leader they need,” she continued. “Be the Leader Ocala needs.”

“I will.”

Silence took over again and my Mother stared into my eyes. I could sense she wanted to tell me something, but couldn’t find the right words.

“You have a big day ahead,” she finally spoke. “We should get some rest.”

“Goodnight,” I said and smiled.

“Goodnight.” My mother turned away and walked to her quarters. She stopped at her door and looked to me again. Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak, but instead she turned her head away and walked into her room.

Instead of going to my quarters, I went back into the meeting room and sat in one of the chairs. I folded my arms and placed them on the table. I laid my head on my arms, closed my eyes and stayed that way until I fell asleep.

Images flashed before me. Dragons breathing fire and burning villages. Wild horses ran wild and trampled people in the streets. Soldiers marched towards a mountain with torches and various weapons in hand; swords, spears, axes and clubs. I even saw myself standing with my own sword, holding it up in triumph over something. My eyes were black with rage and a fire burned deep within them. It scared me.

A hand gripped my shoulder and I was pulled back from the dream. I woke up back in the meeting room. I squinted and tried to see who it was that awakened me.

“You alright, Riley?”

“Yeah,” I said, not knowing who was speaking. My vision became clear and I saw Brandt now sitting on the side of me with a giant smile.

“How long have you been here?” he asked.

“All night... I think,” I answered.

“You’re going to be a King today,” Brandt said enthusiastically.

I nodded in agreement.

“I think you’ll be a great King.”

“Thanks, Brandt.”

“Well, come on. Get to it!” he ordered happily. His eyes lit up and his face was brightened by his smile.

“You’re something else, Brandt,” I said with a laugh.

“More than you know, Riley.” Brandt stood up and walked towards the door.

“I’ll see you later,” he said and winked at me.

Was I truly worthy enough to be a King? That woman said I would be, and now, so did Brandt. Can I handle having power like that? The dream I had began to set in. What did it mean? Was I good, or evil? Only time holds the answer to these and many more questions.

The hours leading up to my crowning were very fast, with little interesting things that happened. I was dressed by a few servants, and fitted into a fancy white shirt, black pants, and a black jacket. I looked down the entire time, bored with everything. I thought about all that had happened to me and reflected on it. I even tried to think what would happen next. If only I could see into the future....

I settled for planning my next move after I became King. My thoughts led into finding the Fourth Prophet and collecting the Shards. Maybe it would be easier than it sounded. At least, I hoped it would be.

Atherton was a mystery to me. Kiera was depending on me to help a place that I didn’t know existed until I was called there by her.

I let my thoughts carry me until the servants were done with whatever it was they were doing. I watched them leave the room and I paced around, still thinking about my journey. A few minutes passed, and the door to my quarters opened and my mother glided in. She always looked as if she was floating. Her beauty had an amazing effect on people.

“Ready?” she asked softly.

I nodded.

“Then take my hand, son,” she said and held her hand out to me.

I took it and let her lead me towards the door. She looked up to me, expecting a smile, so I gave her one.

“You’ll be a wonderful King,” she said, reading my mind.

“I hope so,” I said and let my words hang.

“Let’s go,” she whispered and led me towards my future.

I let her words sink in and I whispered to myself, “Here we go.”

We stepped out into the hallway and were greeted by servants in the entrance. They led us out into a carriage drawn by horses. I was reluctant to go in at first, because of my experiences with Caddock and Daniel. I hadn’t thought about it in a while and suddenly, memories of the Crossover flooded back.

The carriages were pulled to the Water’s Edge and we were helped out by the servants. A mass of people sat in chairs that were placed on the grass. A few days before, this area was used for my father’s funeral. Now, it was for my crowning.

I was led up to a platform at the head of the people, and all eyes came on me. A man that I recognized right away, stood on the side of me, carrying the crown that would soon be on my head. Brandt. He stopped at two thrones, one for me, and the other for my mother--Queen Sasha.

“Told you I’d see you later,” he whispered and smiled as I was shown to sit in the giant throne. My mother sat in the other and the Crowning began.

Another man stepped up, who would lead the ceremony. He was dressed in all white, with a green sash around his neck. He resembled a traveling preacher I saw as a child in Kenton.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” the man began with a booming voice. “Today we coronate Prince Riley, Heir to the Ocalan Throne, as King.” Everyone was
silent and waited for him to continue.

I looked out at all of the people who stared at me. I saw the members of the VII Order, and multiple people I had seen at my father’s funeral. There was many people I didn’t know, but figured I would eventually.

“As we all know,” the man continued, “King Rook has met an untimely end,
and now it is up to his only son to carry on his grand legacy.”

I thought back to the memories I had of my father. His presence was reassuring and everything about him was good. He was an excellent fighter and was compassionate in ways that only he knew how to be.

“Today, we crown a King who is gifted in ways that none of us have ever dreamed about. Prince Riley is the Child of Wrath. And now, he will be the King of Ocala.” The crowd of people clapped lightly.

The man stepped up to me, and motioned to Brandt to stand beside him.
They both stepped back a few steps and Brandt whispered to me.

“Kneel.”

I slowly rose and kneeled on the platform.

They both stepped aside so that the crowd could see what was happening. Brandt turned the crown over to the man and he placed it on my head. He drew his sword from his scabbard and tapped my shoulders with it.

“Stand up slowly,” Brandt whispered.

I did as I was told and both Brandt and the man stepped to the side more.

“Draw your sword and raise it,” Brandt whispered again.

As I did, the crowd rose and the sky was filled with cheers and a round of applause. Now, it was official.

I was King of Ocala.

Crash_Tomas · 06-01-2007, 01:03 PM

that was a long post...should I tone it down?

Quillpen · 06-06-2007, 11:25 AM

i think it's fine. Sometimes certain scenes are longer than others.This particalulrascne was proabaly longer becasue of the fact that youl inked almost all of his actions to his father. i mean you might not watn to thst through out the rest of the story but in that passage it was appropiate.

Crash_Tomas · 06-08-2007, 09:50 PM

cool, glad you liked it... Hopefully chapter 5 will be in working condition soon...I'm waiting for time...