Thread: Raven (Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Angels!)

OK, guys, this story's going to have to go on hold for a while...I don't know how long for Basically I'm in my last year of uni and it is intense! Just deadline after deadline and on top of that I'm trying to do an 8,000 word dissertation. I'm hardly getting enough sleep as it is and I really need to stop playing on WoW lol.

Christmas looks to be really busy - revising for exams and doing my project, then next term's gonna be just as bad as this So it's not looking good, people. But watch this space and hopefully, one day, I'll be able to post more. I'm not giving up on this story! I'll be looking forward to having time to write it again

Thank you all you fabulous readers!

Tis alright. I have the patience of a stone.

No, thank you for writing such an amazing and unique story in the first place. I'll keep a watchful eye on this thread, and maybe even on the bookshelves; just in case you make it.

Good luck with uni, and so long for now!

Wow! This is popular, so it must be good! I've read the prologue, and will try to read at least a chapter a day to catch up.

First impressions:

The opening lines are a little too "nice" and that normally puts me off, but this definitely has potential. It has an Underworld-ish air about it. More as I go through the chapters....

You are making me dread next year! I thought being a 2nd year was bad enough *sigh*. I suppose at least if you're not writing it, I can't be reading it when I'm supposed to be writing essays.

Please don't get too stressed, it'll all turn out alright in the end......just think about in a few years time when you're a published author and never have to think about projects again And I eagerly await more Raven whenever you do get time to write more!

Hurry up and post more lol i love this story plz dont forget bout it lol

I just read the first page, i'm assuming there's more throughout this thread, but at the moment i'll keep to my first impressions. It was good, like others said earlier: potentially good enough for me to want to buy it, the only problem i found (which you might agree with/totally object to) is the pov used, i just feel the story is wasted by the main character narrating the story (it might change half way in, like i said i've only read the first bit) if i was you, which i know im not, i would consider (maybe even redraft the first chapter to see if it would work or not) and have the pov 3rd person, omnipotent (sp) and see how it goes. Even though i totally envisioned what you was doing with the 'welcome to my world' bit in my head, i wouldn't suggest to remove that at all, very blockbustery

That was a very good chapter. "Raven" reminds me of my story "Hell's Awakening" a lot. I like how descriptive you are with everything. I was worried if i could do that too much with my stories, but seeing yours, i don't think that will be a problem. Bravo!

phew! ok i just finished and my eyes are like i couldn't stop lol!
Great story i love the way u made the vampires and werewolves good guys .
Amazing writing! Id definatly buy it if it becomes a book, it would be a cool film too.... anyway its great, thanks for posting and Keep Writing lol!

Originally Posted by Akroma

I really need to stop playing on WoW lol.

Really? I play WoW too, an i prob spend too long on it as well

cant wait for next bit!

hey u play wow to merry what server and char u on atm

Im on aerie peak.... i think lol i only started a month or so ago

Your story seems ok, But. I seem to remember seeing this story in a comic book somewhere? I also seem to remember it being written somewhere where the title of the character was Willow? I could be wrong so if I am. I apologise.

remember this, ladies and gents. we were the first to witness the birth of the next best modern-day author
and this website deserves a part in yor 'acknowledgement's should you have a page dedicated to it.
everything else ive read (not just on this forum but actual novels out there) pale to the point of invisibility in comparison. My writing 'skillz' are absolutely pathetic and dull in comparison - and i can admit it coz it's how this compares to everything else out there.
yuk. i sound like a giddy, smackable fanboy. but my tone is justified.
this took you a long time, didnt it?! it reeks of effort.

any chance of you naming your chapters? Named chapters make it better and stuff. we like titles!

*more positive remarks with absolutely no negatives*

seriously, i think someone needs to strike me. i hate this rain of compliments im showering you with. It's SO not me >.<
well done. i'm green! and it is a strong green indeed!

this has gotta be just about the most poetic peice of writing i've ever seen... except for, y'know.. poetry.

*please dont send this, please dont send this*


SENT! obv. sigh.

weird... i am officially a fan and one of the people waiting rather than looking over the stuff you've posted months ago.
i sat down and read it all in one sitting (family guy and simpsons interrupting, but still...)
i cant believe i'm hooked on something about vampires named 'keeran' and 'lorcan'. this is the type of thing i usually hate. i am converted.

one thing though... 'i nodded' comes up a lot.

wow! I...wow! lol I thought to myself, lets just go on Writinforums for old times sake after neglecting it for three months and never expected in a million years that this would still be a hot topic on the first page!! -.~

I'm just sorry I wasn't there to reply to all these comments and new readers. But I'm here now!

Gabriel Grey (heh, awesome! Love Heroes) yeah I've been thinking about the 1st person thing and can't decide whether I should write the entire thing again but in 3rd person...it's been a serious problem because in 1st person you can't really show the thoughts of other characters. And then again I can continue in 1st person but have other characters chip in with their 1st person thoughts as well...but that could get confusing for the reader...

All my friends I have spoken to say noooooooo, keep it in 1st person but I'm liking the idea of 3rd person more...I'm going to have to think about it The story you're reading is actually a re-write of the original lol. Cos I started it when I was 17 (4 years ago) and decided to completely re-write and change everything from chapters 1-10 cos I thought it was really crap. And now I'm re-reading it and thinking I should re-write it all over again lol. It's a pickle.

TevenB - some people like a lot of description but others dont. Can't please everyone ;-P but I like writing it. I always had a liking for writing poetry but was never any good at it so I try to make my descriptions as poetic as I can I guess. Again, it probably annoys some people lol. "Oh here she goes again! (skips the next few pages)" lol.

Merry Llama - wow thanks for reading the whole thing! Man your eyes must hurt lol. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm on Draenor. Got 3 Horde chars and an Alliance char with her own guild! All very exciting.

TE4SE - Really? Which comic? I'll have to have a look at it. I honestly had no idea lol. The only comics I ever read were Beano and Spiderman when I was a kid. Sounds like a good read tho ;-P Willow, you say?

HippoHead - lol you make me laugh and blush, thanks for your comments, and if this does ever get published I will certainly dedicate a page to all you awersome peeps on writingforums! I agree about the chapter titles, I'll have to work on those. Also thinking about changing the title of the book...Raven seems a bit boring. Should have a title that makes you think "hmmm...whats that all about" ;-P. And yes, I do overuse 'I nodded' lol. When I re-write this (and I know I eventually will) I'll sort out those little creases. But dont worry, nothing major in the plot's going to change. I'm just still playing tug-o-war with having the story in 1st person or 3rd person.....

*please dont send this, please dont send this*


SENT! obv. sigh.

lol love that!

Thank you everyone. I will certainly get back to writing it cos, believe me, the action hasn't even started yet and I really really want to write it! The story gets so much more darker and there are still characters you've yet to meet! Particularly the Demons ;-P 5 more weeks and my course will be over....apart from the 2 months of revision time for final exams (eek) but I class that as holiday time ;-P