Thread: Raven (Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Angels!)

I might as well join in with the chorus and say how much I'm loving this story.

Because I have no real criticism of it, I'll just point out that you wrote about Sethis' "bear" feet in that last chapter. I assume you mean "bare," but I could be wrong...

Otherwise, keep up the great work!

I'll just point out that you wrote about Sethis' "bear" feet in that last chapter. I assume you mean "bare," but I could be wrong...

ROFL!!!! Yeah I meant bare feet! *snorts* silly me. Just got a rather amusing image of a man in a deeply profound setting with huge hairy toes! Cheers, Tirisyl!

Chapter 12 continued...

“Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty! Ready or not here I come!”


I turned away from the wall I was leaning against and looked around the library. A snigger immediately gave away Scaron’s whereabouts but I pretended not to hear it.


“Now, I wonder where he could be,” I said loudly as I made a great show of looking amongst the bookshelves. Another peal of giggles sounded to my left. I turned right.


“AHA!” I yelled as I rounded a corner. Jarleth looked up from the book he was reading, his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline.


“Sorry,” I said, grinning. “Scaron and I are playing hide and seek.” I left the somewhat baffled werewolf and stalked down another isle.


“Raven!”


I turned to find Keenar hurrying towards me.


“Someone’s here to see you,” she said, her eyes wide.


“Who?”


Keenar hesitated.


“Sethis.”


My eyes widened and time seemed to stop. Sethis? Could it be possible? It had been a week since that night…


“I don’t know how but he found The Sanctuary,” Keenar was saying. “He knew who I was! Raven, what have you told him?”


It was my turn to hesitate. “Everything. I…I mind linked with him…”


“You what?”


“It was the only way I could do it! So that he would understand!”


Keenar shook her head. “You’ve compromised our entire security system! He knows where we all are! He knows of the wards on the building, he knows what we’re capable of and he knows our weaknesses!”


The truth of it hit me as her words sank in. “He…he won’t tell anyone…”


“Maybe not on purpose but minds are easily read, truths easily revealed through torture.”


I reeled at the possibility.


“For the safety of this clan,” said Keenar, “you must make him into one of us whether he accepts it or not.”


“Wait, I will not force him into this! It’s his choice to make –“


“Not any more. Killing him is the only other option, Raven. We cannot allow anyone to know of this place unless they are Vampire or Werewolf. This way they can shield their minds with the sorcery granted our race and have the means to protect themselves. We cannot follow some mortal around to protect him forever. Mortals are too easily killed and too easily manipulated. Kill him or turn him, those are your only options.”


“Keenar…I…I can’t –“


“Raaaaaargh!” Scaron roared from on top of a book shelf and he leapt on to my back. “I got you!” he laughed. “I got you, Raven!”


“Scaron, listen,” I said as he jumped off. “Why don’t you go and play with Keenar? I… I have to see someone.”


He pouted as Keenar took his hand. “Come now,” she said softly.


“No!” he said. “I want Raven!”


I could barely hear what he was saying, nor could I feel the kiss Scaron planted upon my cheek before allowing himself to be lead away by Keenar, her meaningful look making me shiver. Turn him…or kill him.

Hmm interesting concept. I'd say Raven chooses to change him, but I cant help thinking they're gonna end up running off from them, only to be hunted by both good and evil.

Hmm interesting concept. I'd say Raven chooses to change him, but I cant help thinking they're gonna end up running off from them, only to be hunted by both good and evil.

Hmmmm, interesting thought you have there Maybe they will, maybe they wont. Aha! Should really post the next bit but need my friend to proof read it...

A word of warning - there's some adult content in this post... I know it's brushing the boundaries of what I'm allowed to post on this site but I tried to be careful and not make it too explicit. Apologies if I've over-stepped the line a bit :-/

Chapter 12 continued...

The Sanctuary was at its busiest, full to the brim with dancing, carefree mortals. I pushed my way through the crowds towards the staircase, men and women glancing at me with desirous intent. I ignored them all. Upon reaching the staircase, one impertinent man reached out and grabbed my breast.


“Why don’t you spend the night with me, girl?” he slurred drunkenly. With lightning reflexes I took his hand and twisted, my green eyes flashing dangerously. Before he knew it he was crumpled on the floor howling in pain as his fingers cracked.


“Touch me again and I’ll break more than just your fingers,”I said softly. I dropped his mangled hand and continued up the stairs.


Reaching the door to the room Keenar had left Sethis in, I paused and closed my eyes. Turn him or kill him. They were almost one and the same and I was capable of doing neither. Taking a deep breath I twisted the handle and walked in.


He was facing the window but turned as I entered. The door closed behind me and silence filled the room as we stood facing each other. Sethis was the first to speak.


“It’s really you.” His voice was quiet and filled with wonder, his blue eyes blinking as if he could not believe what he was seeing. “That night…you came to me, didn’t you?”


I nodded, all of my carefully thought up and rehearsed words obliterated in an instant.


“Everything you showed me,” he continued, his eyes never leaving mine, “at first I thought it was a dream. Then I found this place, The Sanctuary, and I knew it to be real. Every detail you had ever seen…it…it was somehow burned into my mind…”


He shook his head and sat down on the bed rubbing his temples. “I had to think. It was all too much, too sudden and for a few days I thought I was going mad. Things that I thought never existed – couldn’t exist – were real; the Gods, the races, the magic, the war… all real; and you…not dead… Gods I’ve such a headache!”


He was trembling and his breathing was fast and ragged but I dared not approach him, words dying on my tongue. My own heart was beating hard and I stood upon the verge of tears as he struggled to make sense of reality.


He looked up and we stared at each other for a while. I waited with dread for that expression of disgust or horror but it never came. Instead he rose to his feet and slowly stepped up to me, our bodies drawing close so that I could feel the heat radiating from him; smell his familiar scent.


“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered. He lifted a shaky hand and touched my face, wiping away the hot tears with a gentle brush of his thumb. I closed my eyes, my heart exploding with emotion, my lips beginning to tremble.


“Sethis…” I managed to whisper before his lips closed over mine in a tender kiss. In that moment my whole world vanished and everything warm and beautiful in my life blossomed into a thousand colours that swirled before my eyes. Nothing mattered but me and him, and had death taken me then, I would not have cared. We were together.


Our kiss became more intense as I sucked on his tongue and lips, my fingers hard on the back of his neck. His arms held me tight against him and his hands caressed my body feverishly as if he could not get enough.


“Nothing,” he whispered through kisses “can change the way I feel about you, Raven.” His lips moved to my neck, my fingers in his hair. “I love you. I always will.”


And there it was. I had found him, the missing shard of my soul. Fresh tears flooded my eyes as I held him tight, my spirit blazing like deep red fire. I tried to speak but he placed a finger upon my lips.


“No, Raven.” His voice was trembling. “You don’t need to say anything…and you will never have to.”


His lips pressed into mine again and I felt my back come into contact with the wall. Hands shaking, I fumbled with his shirt, tearing at the buttons until they yielded, the shirt falling to the floor. His body was warm, his skin smooth over perfectly toned muscles and I sighed as I ran my hands over him. Gods I had missed him – in more ways than I could imagine.


His fingers pulled at the laces of my corset until it slipped off, his hands running down my thighs as he buried his face in my soft curves. Boots and trousers followed suit until I was completely naked, my breasts crushing against his chest as I held him close to me.


“I can’t believe this is happening,” I whispered breathlessly in his ear as his fingers sent shivers up my spine, a slick wetness pooling between my legs. “What have I done to deserve you? What deed could possibly justify this miracle…?”


“Sssshhhh,” he said softly. “Don’t think. Just feel. I’ve had a week of hard thinking and right now I don’t care any more. I just want to love you; to be with you. Gods it’s been so long…”


I closed my eyes and let him take me into oblivion. He was right – nothing mattered but the feel of his hands on my skin; his mouth on my body; the sound of his breathing. Nothing mattered but the look on his face as he pushed himself into me; his cries of ecstasy as he finally broke; the feel of his body against mine as we lay exhausted on the bed. Nothing else mattered. This was our world where there was absolutely no one but us. With a smile on my lips, I closed my eyes and sank into sweet, restful sleep.

Wow. Impressive. Sorry to butt in so late. I have to confess I have not read the entire thing...yet but what I have read is great. Keep up the good work but remember to publish it before posting the last chapter. Leaving everyone that is reading so far hanging and forcing them to go out and buy the book simply for the last chapter would be a great way of making a name for youself.

Thank you, Aranor. And don't worry, all butt-inners are welcome with open arms

publish it before posting the last chapter. Leaving everyone that is reading so far hanging and forcing them to go out and buy the book simply for the last chapter would be a great way of making a name for youself.

That's the plan, my dear. That's the plan ;-p

Naughty, naughty hehe.

Aw, how romantic. Now that Raven and Sethis are back together, I can not wait to see how they solve Raven's difficult choice.

Good stuff.

Chapter 12 continued...

I awoke with Sethis’ head on my chest, my arms wrapped tight around him. His eyes were closed and his breathing soft and regular. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair, not believing that I had the fortune of meeting such a man in my life; to have him sleeping in my arms; to have him fall in love with none other than myself. I felt perplexed by it and, sometimes, unworthy of such strong affection.


He stirred and opened his eyes, sighing as he realised where he was and taking my hand in his.


“What time is it?” he asked as he kissed my fingers, his voice husky from sleep.


“A little past noon,” I replied.


He jumped up at my answer and looked around.


“It’s ok, it’s ok,” I assured him. “As long as the curtains are drawn tight and are thick enough to block out most of the light, the sun can’t get me.”


He visibly relaxed and nodded, settling back down into bed. I traced the muscles of his torso with a fingertip.


“You seem to have taken my transformation into your stride,” I said. “Does it not bother you that I have to kill people to live?”


His body stiffened at the question, then he looked at me, his gaze intense.


“You showed me everything,” he said. “I thought about it a lot…and I…I think I understand… That conversation you had with Keenar beside the river – she said that you cannot go against your nature. The Hawk was made to feed on the mouse. The lion was made to feed on the antelope. And you, werewolves and vampires, were made to feed on the human.”


“I really did burn every detail into your mind didn’t I?” I said. Sethis nodded. I then thought of all that I had seen that gave me nightmares. “Sorry.”


Sethis held me tighter and breathed deep my scent. “Don’t be,” he whispered.


I nuzzled his nose and found his lips, kissing him deep so that he would feel how much I loved him.


That day was possibly the best day of my life. We spent hours making love; we talked and talked as the sun traced its course across the sky; sometimes we would just lie in silence caressing each other’s bodies. I didn’t want that day to end – it was as if we were making up for all the time that we lost. But time would not stop for us and soon it was night again, the familiar need to drink rising up inside me.


“What happens now?” he asked as we dressed. I shook my head.


“I don’t know.”


As I stood up he came round behind me and held me in his arms.


“Let me be with you, Raven,” he whispered in my ear. “Let me be part of this. Whatever happens we can get through it together -”


I turned and looked into his eyes. He looked straight back at me.


“I…I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I…no, Sethis, please don’t…”


“I know there are risks,” he said. “I know I might not even make it through the change but its worth a try isn’t it?”


I shook my head. He was asking too much of me.


“Raven, please. I can’t live like this. I need to be by your side. I feel the need to protect you and…I can’t do that as a human. What am I supposed to do? Stand by and grow ever older while you live on possibly centuries after I die? Could you live like that?”


“Sethis stop,” I whimpered. “I can’t, I can’t! I wish for us to be together more than anything but if you died during the change I…I couldn’t live with that…I’d have killed you, Sethis…” The tears came back thick and fast and I could do nothing to stop myself. “I can’t…”


I heard him sigh as he drew me into his arms. His warmth and musky scent was too much to bear and the hunger flared up inside me.


“I…I have to go,” I said, wiping my tears and pushing him away.


“Raven, listen to me,” he started, but I shook my head and backed away from him. I could hear his heart beating, see the throb of his veins and hear the rush of blood as it coursed round his body.


“I have to go,” I said breathlessly. “I’m sorry, Sethis…” I turned and ran out of the door, leaving him standing alone.


I did not see him again that night. He was not at The Sanctuary when I arrived back and nor was he at the cottage when I went to find him. It felt strangely empty and the animals were nowhere to be seen. The stables, too, were empty and I returned to the mansion worried and wondering where Sethis was.


Come the dawn, as I slid into bed, I couldn’t help thinking that I’d gotten him back for one brief moment only to let him slip away again. I should never have left him and now I didn’t know when I was next going to see him, if ever. Dreading the worst, I closed my eyes and drifted into fitful sleep where I seemed to wake every half hour only to drift off again.


Three hours before nightfall I opened my eyes to find Keenar standing over me, her hand on my shoulder.


“What is it?” I asked, immediately awake.


“Come with me, Raven.” Her tone was nervous and a little frightened.


“What’s happened?” I asked as I slipped on some clothes.


“You will see for yourself. Hurry,” she added.


Starting to feel nervous, I followed her out the door and through the mansion. We were almost running and I could hear someone screaming. I grasped Keenar’s arm to slow her down.


“Keenar! Tell me what’s going on!”


She met my eyes and hesitated. “It…it’s Sethis.” We rounded a corner and into another bedroom. “He’s making the change.”


Her words were like an icy grip closing around my heart but even worse was the scene before me. Lexan and Galahad were holding Sethis down on the bed in an effort to cease his writhing as he screamed in agony, the pain distorting his voice. Lorcan was tightening a belt to Sethis’ upper arm and, with the other hand, pulled out a syringe from his pocket. Taking the cap off with his teeth and spitting it out, he plunged the needle deep into Sethis’ arm then released the belt.


A memory flashed before my eyes where my skin felt as if it was on fire, my very bones like white-hot iron. I remembered that Lexan and Lorcan had appeared then as the change took me. Lorcan had picked me up in his arms and I had felt the prick of a needle, the pain in my flesh subsiding so that it was almost bearable.


I looked to Sethis and saw him lying now motionless and unconscious on the bed, Lexan and Galahad backing away. Lorcan stood over him, a hand on his chest and his eyes closed. I slowly approached feeling dizzy and faint.


“Is…is he still alive?” I asked.


“Yes,” said Lorcan softly without opening his eyes. His brows knitted in concentration. “Just barely.”


I kneeled down and took Sethis’ hand. His skin was drenched in a cold sweat and his breathing was shallow. On his arm were four long cuts as if an animal had scratched him.


“Who did this?” I asked, my voice trembling with anger. Silence filled the room.


“I did.” The voice was Keenar’s. I looked at her, standing to face her.


“Why?”


Keenar hesitated. My anger flared.


“Why, goddamn you?!” I pushed her against the wall, my face inches from hers.


“Raven…” her eyes were brimming with tears. “He asked me to.”


I released her, backing away. My head was spinning and I felt sick. Lexan caught me as my legs buckled and we sank to the floor.


“It’s the only way you can be together,” she said, her voice shaking. “And that is how he wanted it to be. Listen,” she kneeled down next to me, “the only reason you couldn’t do it was because you didn’t want to feel responsible if he didn’t make it through the change. Well…now you don’t have to, Raven.”


I did not answer her. She sighed and rose to her feet. “It was the only way,” she said again, and then she was gone, shifting to her wolf shape and darting out of the door.

A bit quick to an end on that one. Good but I might have done it differently. Perhaps having Sethis getting hurt some how. Someone/thing attacking him. Keenar having having either had sethis brought back to the sanctuary or brought Raven to him forcing her to make the choice of letting him die of turning him. I would have loved to read your thoughts on her emotions during that critical moment.

Otherwise keep up the god work.

A bit quick to an end on that one. Good but I might have done it differently. Perhaps having Sethis getting hurt some how. Someone/thing attacking him. Keenar having having either had sethis brought back to the sanctuary or brought Raven to him forcing her to make the choice of letting him die of turning him.

Hmmm, perhaps you're right. It would have made it a little more exciting. I guess, this being such a large event in the story, it is a bit anti-climatic isn't it. But then I also wanted to keep it realistic - if Sethis did get hurt and Raven had to choose, well...it's a bit too coincidental. It's like in the movies where they need a silver dagger to kill the bad guy and someone just happened to have one in their pocket lol. I thought, since Raven wouldn't turn Sethis, the next thing he would do is ask someone else to turn him instead without Raven knowing so she wouldn't have to intervene or take any responsibility.

But you're right I could have made it more exciting and climatic... plus it would have been more interesting to write ;-p

I guess this thread is getting too long for people to be bothered with. Should I just stop posting here and then people can read it once it's published? If I ever do publish this.... for all I know they could all take 1 look at it and go "we're not publishing this filth! Not good enough!" lol.

I would not stop. Doing so might induce a sense of "I can wait" or "I will dot it later" and you never get back to it. I do this..... Just look at my posts. A couple stories started and I have yet to put second parts up.
I say keep going.

I agree with Aranor. Don't stop. Who cares if the thread is to long, i know i'll keep following this story, I absolutely couldn't keep my eyes offf the computer screen, I even got in trouble at school because my eyes were glued to the screen!!! It has so much potential

This is meant to be in red so you know what I mean by it capturing an audiences attention“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered. He lifted a shaky hand and touched my face, wiping away the hot tears with a gentle brush of his thumb. I closed my eyes, my heart exploding with emotion, my lips beginning to tremble.


This proves you can capture an audiences attention.
Keep going and GOOD LUCK!!!