Thread: Raven (Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Angels!)

Heh! Akroma's now RED!!! Instead of the Angel of Wrath, she's now the Angel of Fury!! hehehehe! No...that's not evil enough...MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Better artwork too. Her wings are AWESOME and she's got some cool spear thing! And flaming hair!!!! Sorry I'm a bit of a pyromaniac...I spin fire...

Originally Posted by Akroma

Sorry I'm a bit of a pyromaniac...I spin fire...

You just concentrate on spinning words into chapter ten missy

you hadd me at All origin..and I never stopped reading...plz get on Laptop or computer, lol the only reason I wrote my Werewolf story is cause I read yours ....stupid die hard christian mom made it so i can't write on it anymore *sniff* But yours blows mine out of the water and when u make this a book I want ur siggy peeez!.....I love fire also...ice = boring but fire! You can burn yourself!

Originally Posted by Akroma

But as Galahad’s blurry vision swung to the doorway, two guards were already pulling her into the chamber. Her eyes looked fearfully around her and settled on the Leviathan and Lanec’s fresh remains. Her eyes widened in horror. Half of Lanec’s face lay upon the floor, the jaw still open in a twisted scream. Keenar sank to her knees, her mouth opening and shutting but no sound coming forth, her face streaming with tears. At last an anguished moan escaped her lips as she grasped her head in her hands.

*sob*
Lanec? Oh, how could you?!

I know i've dropped terribly behind but i'm back and trying to catch up! looks like i've got a lot of reading to do! This just keeps getting better and better (and you just keep getter meaner and meaner to your poor characters!)

hey nats,
Just wanted to say hi i'm so behind on this i'm sorry its been really busy here, I will try and catch up soon just thought i'd say hi how things at uni? Be gd to hear from u it has been ages. Hope to hear from u soon
Anneka

Ok, everyone!!! The first part of Chapter 10 is finally ready!!! I decided not to use any of those poems in the end lol. Tell me what you yhink, I had a bit of trouble with it..

Chapter 10

The dim lights of the restaurant filtered down, casting a warm glow upon the diners, the crystal glasses splitting the light into all colours of the spectrum. An orchestra played calm, relaxing music in the background, and smart waiters in coat tails went about their business serving expensive food.

Galahad, Keenar and I sat around a table, engaging one another in small talk and taking in the many sounds and scents. We had gone to see a movie beforehand but I had found it dull and mediocre. Critiques had called it the most thrilling film of all time, a new rage spreading throughout the world; to me it was nothing compared to what I had just seen in Galahad’s mind. The horror still lingered and I too could not get Lanec’s screams out of my head. The memory was not even mine.

I glanced over at Galahad. He looked good enough for any girl to die for in his dinner suit and tie. His mouth was split into a grin as he shared a conversation with Keenar and his eyes sparkled every time they met hers. Nothing in his posture or expression betrayed his past or the emotions locked inside him, so much stronger and potent that what I was feeling now. How could he carry those undying memories with him for all these thousands of years? How could he live with them?

They had already ordered and the dishes arrived promptly upon silver trays and white cloth. I ordered nothing, as usual, and pretended to sip on a glass of wine. I was used to this by now, all but forgetting what it was like to have a sense of taste. Instead, I enjoyed the pleasures of food through my sense of smell, the rich aromas of good recipes giving me a sensation almost like taste, but not quite. Not quite.

Keenar was talking about the film. I listened for a while, her words surrounding me and washing through me, but my mind drifted away again to the night outside and the cold open air.

After a while I decided to excuse myself. Keenar looked at me quizzically but did not protest. Our heightened senses make us sensitive to the moods of others. I was once surprised to be able to feel the happiness radiating out from someone; or the sorrow. I felt it like black tendrils of shadow curling outwards from the core, killing joy like cancer.

She knew I wanted to be alone.

“We’ll see you back at the mansion,” she said.

As I rose to leave she suddenly gripped my hand, her silver eyes locking with mine.

“Be careful.”

I nodded and smiled at her in reassurance. Galahad rose to his feet as I vacated the table, a faint light of concern in his eyes. With a slight shake of my head that said my uneasiness was not of his doing, I left the two lovers to their meal and stepped out into the night.

It was clear and crisp, the stars shining brightly from the dome of infinity above me. I walked casually down the city streets, not really heading anywhere in particular, my boots making no noise upon the stones of the pavement.

City life swirled around me: the loud, polluting vehicles of people rushing from A to B, oblivious to anything but their own lives; snatches of music from a thousand blaring stereos; smells of restaurants and pubs. The world rushed around me like a dream on fast forward - people speeding through their short, quick lives as I slowly walked my way through eternity.

So, as I always did, I pushed it all out of my head and retreated inside myself where there was nobody else. The sounds faded, as did the enticing smells and flashing lights. But things came unbidden out of the mist, images and feelings I had tried to suppress. And an aching was in my chest where it had not been before. Yet in my heart I knew that it had been there all along, just denied and denied until it had learnt to shadow itself. But now, after all the fear; all the changes; all the toil and adrenaline through training, it chose to unveil itself. Like an old wound that still hurts long after the scar tissue has faded, it made itself known. I knew exactly what it was and, instead of pushing it away, I embraced my pain.

The subtle sound of wind rushing through feathered wings brought me out of my reverie. Looking up, I saw a black shadow circling high overhead. Lifting my arm, the shadow spilled the air from its wings and came to land gracefully on my sleeve, claws digging into the leather.

Talon hopped up my arm and came to rest upon my shoulder, rubbing his head against my pale cheek. I smiled at him and continued walking.

“Why is it that we feel emotions so much more acutely than mortals?” I whispered to him after a while. He did not answer.

“You could wait a lifetime for a wound to close but it will only gape wider. Why is that, Talon? Why can we never forget anything, doomed to remember every little detail of pain in our lives? Why does it grow inside you like a black hole until you are filled with it?”

I looked at Talon and he just stared back. He had no answers for me. Something was reflecting in his black eyes and I looked closer. It was a tombstone.

Looking around me I realised that I had walked clear out of the city and was standing alone in the last place I wanted to be: the cemetery. The grounds stretched for as far as the human eye could see, eerie and foreboding. Tombs, statues and gravestones glinted pale and ghostly in the moonlight, scarring the landscape with markers for a thousand dead bodies. Mist swirled around my feet and drifted amongst the tombstones, damp and chill in the night air. The silence was heavy.

Shivering a little, I turned to go back to the city, but something stopped me in my tracks; a thought that provoked a peculiar feeling. Instead of carrying on, I turned towards the cemetery gates. They loomed before me, riddled with climbing ivy and sharp brambles, the black cast iron curling in ghostly shapes. Pushing them open, I stepped into the swirling mist, so like to spirits trying to wrap themselves around me, curling around my legs and caressing my cheeks.

The silence was complete as I moved slowly amongst the various statues and tombs, some smooth and white, others overgrown with choking weeds, the stone crumbling away. Not even Talon ruffled a feather. But despite the creeping feeling twisting up my spine, it seemed like a place of peace. Peace for those lying in their final rest in the earth…but sorrow for the living that were separated from them.

I continued my walk, admiring the beauty of the statues, the many stone angels that lined the leafy path and the gothic gargoyles leering from their frozen positions. Suddenly something caught my eye that gave me an uneasy feeling inside. It was a gravestone of expensive white marble, still new and unsullied by time. On top of the stone lay a marble angel, face buried in her white arms in sorrow and mourning, her wings spread out and glittering into the night. The stone folds of her gown looked so real and soft, tumbling in waves over the plaque and collecting on the floor. It was so beautiful, so smooth and white that it took my breath away.

With tears running down my face, I ran my fingertips over the delicate wings, the folds of her robes then, kneeling before the grave, over the deeply engraved name in curling letters that burned into my mind.

Raven Vekkaun

3791-3816

If I should die, and thine side leave,
Think not to grieve, thine tears restrain.
I still draw breath within thine heart.
With thee, a part, my soul remain.
Thou knowst these lips shall no more kiss.
Mine hand thou miss upon thine cheek,
To clasp mine figure close to thee,
No more to see the eyes thou seekst
For I am changed. I ride the air,
A fire’s flare, the falling rain,
I’m with thee still in every breath.
Think not of death. Feel no more pain.
I’m waiting for thee, for the end,
To both ascend, thine hand in mine.
Heed these words that I impart:
My love, my heart, lives still in thine.

Such a feeling of strangeness came over me as I stared at my own grave. Strangeness and sorrow. How hard it must have been for Sethis to bury an empty casket.

Sethis. Memories of him flooded back into my mind and this time I did not push them away. I let every single one of them surface and, with them, the raw intense feeling of a love lost. Fresh tears filled my eyes and I cried for him; a phantom crying for the living that it deserted.

I missed him. I missed him so much. And there it was, that feeling that had been plaguing me since the beginning. I just never dared to admit it. How I longed for the feel of his arms around me again, his soft kisses, the sound of his voice…the courage gained by being loved deeply and the strength felt by loving deeply in return.

I do not know how long I sat there staring with tearful eyes at the white marble grave with my name on it, the beautiful mourning angel crying with me, the poem’s haunting words. I had always wanted a white angel over my tombstone…and Sethis had remembered…

The mist continued to swirl around me, the moon slowly sinking in the sky. Still I sat, staring with vacant eyes as my thoughts pulled me deeper into myself.

Suddenly I heard soft steps crushing the dew soaked grass behind me and my senses snapped back, alert and wary. But I was not alarmed. By the wheezing breath and the sound of clinking metal, I knew it was just the old priest with his lantern doing his nightly rounds. Grave robbery was not uncommon in Asperia.

“I am sorry,” he said quietly behind me. “It must be very hard for you, not knowing what happened to the body…” I felt a comforting hand upon my shoulder.

After a respectful pause he spoke again.

“Are you perchance acquainted with a young man…I have seen him at this grave many times…long black hair…blue eyes…”

My throat closed, my heart pounding in my chest.

“They were lovers,” I whispered hoarsely. I heard the priest sigh behind me.

“Oh my. Oh dear,” he muttered. “Terrible…just terrible…poor lad…”

I swallowed hard. “Is…Is he alright? How does he look?”

“Not too well,” he said softly. “I do not doubt that he will soon be following her. Grief is a powerful slayer…”

I slowly stood up and turned to face him, the lantern casting a pale light over my white face, my green eyes shining like fire through the darkness. Talon glared at him intently, his black wings flaring.

The priest’s eyes widened in fear and surprise and he stumbled back from me, his trembling fingers closing around a sword pendant, a symbol of ‘The Lord’, hanging round his neck. “God…” he uttered. “Who…what…”

“I am not going to hurt you,” I said softly, raising my hands in a sign of peace. “I just want to know about the man you described…can you tell me about…please, calm down…”

But the old parson was not calming. He was now trembling, whimpering as he sank to the floor before me, praying.

“Listen, I’m not from the devil! I’m not going to harm you! I…”

But he was shrieking now, screaming a jumble of words, his eyes large and bulbous in his gaunt face, terror leading him to the brink of madness. I knew if I tried to reason with him any longer the old timer would have a heart attack. So I did what I was best at: I disappeared.

I turned and melted into the darkness from whence I came, leaving the terrified old parson standing alone with his lantern and breathing heavily. After a few moments he crossed himself several times and staggered away, moving on.

Continued...

I made my solitary way out of the cemetery, stopping now and then to read inscriptions or to admire the stonework. Talon spread his wings and rose into the blackness of infinity, circling high above me, a black silhouette against a million stars.

Reaching the gate, I turned to take one last look at the mist entwined world of stone angels and gravestones; bare twisted trees standing amongst them like bent mourners.

Suddenly something caught my eye and I squinted into the swirling grey droplets, my heart pounding in my chest. My mind tried to justify what it had just glimpsed – a trick of the light? The ever deceptive fog? But looking closer I knew it was no hallucination.

Something was in the graveyard with me. Something other than the frightened old parson. The mist cleared for a moment, a window through which I focused all my senses, and there he was. My heart stopped in mid-pulse and I ceased to breathe. Time itself halted in mid breath; the Earth ceased to move.

The Angel faced a freshly dug grave. He did not see me; just stood there bent in sorrow, silver tears falling from his beautifully chiselled face. They fell like droplets of stars and, where they hit the earth, delicate white flowers sprouted from the grass and raised their pale faces to the moon.

He was tall; taller than any mortal man. Lean muscles rippled across his slender form giving him a powerful countenance, and yet he looked delicate at the same time as if he would smash into a thousand fragments if he were to fall. The hue of his skin was a dark grey that was strangely appealing, the sheen upon his bare torso making it look as soft as satin, and his hair the colour of silver falling in long irregular locks about his face and shoulders. His leg attire was black as the night sky and his bare feet hardly seemed to crush the grass beneath him.

But what took my breath away most was his wings. They were not white as I expected them to be, but more a soft grey, shadowed with the darker greys and browns as the great, broad feathers overlapped each other. And they were vast; huge wings that sprouted from his shoulder blades and stretched out into the darkness around him, a span so large as to ride the skies with the swiftness of a thousand eagles. My heart ached inside me from the sheer beauty, and tears came unbidden to my eyes.

He flexed his wings so that they unfolded and swept up in an arc of majestic power, the soft silken rub of feathers against feathers sounding in my ears. The colours glistened in the moonlight, the dark wings stretching and giving a few beats of the air before folding once again.

I gasped in wonder. He was enchanting, a faint light emitting from his presence. I looked to his face and saw that it was twisted in an expression of anguish and sorrow. I felt like my heart would begin to bleed.

Suddenly the Angel stiffened, sensing something…as if he could hear my heart pounding in my chest or feel my eyes burning into his skin. Then he turned…and looked directly at me. His tear-filled eyes shone a bright grey within his angelic face and seemed to pierce my soul, his silver hair stirring in the slight breeze.

I stood as still as stone, hardly daring to breathe lest he disappear or I awake from some strange dream. Speech formed on my tongue yet died on passing my lips. It seemed an age we stood staring at each other, the mist swirling around us, his wings a vast shadow around him.

His lips then moved, as if speaking words, and I heard a soft, deep whisper that sounded almost like music in my head.

“Henala coratus Dael-ereth. Nif degithan a Hyn i serf na baret en na Dhaelas.”

Confused, I shook my head. His language was none that I had ever heard before; beautiful and strange…I opened my mouth but before I could speak he spread his magnificent wings and rose into the air. Within seconds he was amongst the stars and the more I tried to focus, the harder it became for me to see him until…he was gone. I was standing alone in the swirling mists, blinking stupidly and breathing hard from my held breath.

Dazed and overcome, I turned and walked heavily towards the cemetery gates. Then, through the shock, excitement bubbled up within me. Breaking into a run, I leaped the wall guarding the perimeter and headed back to the mansion.

bravo that was very good now get on with the next bit looks good HURRY HURRY WIUTH THE NEXT PART BEFORE I GET BORED LAST TIME I NEARLY DIED

Just when I think I know whats coming, say for instance: the person behind Raven turns out to be her husband you completely trick my mind and take me down a different route, I love that And I love this story. Your poem by the way, wonderful Keep up the excellent chapters.

I'll read chap ten tommorow. As it is my eyes are falling out my head from staringt at the computer for so long. You might want to make chapter ninen two chapter just a thought. It might seema little out of place being to long in your story.

hey Akroma,

Just to give u an update i'm up to page7 part way through chapter 9, I just really should be doing a lab report so i'll be back to finish this soon. I love the style in this and I love the slight changes in the plot this way round it seems to work a lot better, it expalins things a lot better. This is defrinetly a lot better than the non edited version and Keep going, because it is really really good. So keep up the good work and you'll be hearing from me sonish

Spannyka

Yeah! finished chap ten! this story is so cool. I can't wait for more.By the way i know this doesn't halp you in any way...Keenar sounds like neenar neenar boo boo. As in what smal children comtimes do. I like her name anyways though.

Hey Akroma,
I loved the back story to Galahad, was very actioned packed, and very emotional, you discribed Lanec death so well I really emphasised with him. The seeing her grave was very powerful, symbolic deth and the angel whats that got to do with things, but also was very powerful. Twas very mysterious. I have to say Akroma this new version is much better than the old verion the world and the back story and the fight just seems to flow better, than the old style, and it also gives it more originality having the old creatures and the magic and stuff. This is very great story and please write more. I will endevor to keep up with it this time.

spannyka

One of the best things i've read yet.
Thank you for showing me this, it's brilliant.

From what I've read of your book, you are an excellent writer.

However, I don't know if posting something you're so proud of is the best idea . . . you may tell people not to plagiarize, but in the end it won't stop whoever wants to. There's risk here, especially since your piece obviously has talent written all over it.

Just my opinion. Nothing more. :]