character1_Caitlin

Here are links to where I first started my story. Then a revision.
It might not be exactly as what I have now but I dont want to post everything all the time. These links will at least let you know the beginning.

http://www.writingforums.com/showpos...52&postcount=1
http://www.writingforums.com/showpos...72&postcount=9

I had feedback and Zan mentioned about to many flashbacks to be cautious, my question is , I am not writing specifically a story for young adults to read so I think I have to come back to the Caitlin of present in order to have her adult side show and develop. I fear if everthing is of remembering , from the perspecitive of youth it becomes a story for young people only? Do you know what I mean ? My plan is to with organization to go back and forth between the past and the present but not confuse. That was my plan from the beginning.
Thanks for reading, comments welcomed. If you want to be my editor and fix all the grammar--- Great go for it LOL the paste still gets the formatting a bit messed up also.

Here is the continuation of a work in progress.
Chapter 1- Page 2 and 3 Working Title : Summer Never Ends (Will stay this unless some current author beats me to it)

Caitlin managed to fall asleep on the bus or she would not make it through dinner. She is jolted awake while going over a large pothole. “Finally”, they are there and the bus continues down the long winding gravel road and comes to a stop in the parking area under the rickety wood sign that bears the name “Big Rock Point”. Caitlin has seen this sign above her head since she was 8 years old. Every summer she would have a couple of weeks at camp and take home the best memories. These memories helped her to get through the rest of the year until summer came around again and gave her the respite she so desperately needed.


Everyone gathers their luggage from the bus cargo hold and wearily waits for Laura the Camp Director, to read out the assignments for cabins. Each Juniour counselor is matched with an experienced counselor for one summer. Caitlin hopes to be Jackie’s assistant counselor, they got along so well last summer while Caitlin was in the training program, she is like the sister she never was lucky enough to have. “Caitlin your with Jackie ” – “Yes!”


Jackie escorts Caitlin up to the cabin and they both try to settle in. “Caitlin unpacks her things from her trunk and sets up her portable stereo and plays one of the tapes she spent all night making. “I wonder where he is, have not seen him yet”. “He better be here”
“Caitlin”... “Caitlin?”
“umm, Yes” ,
“You looked like you are in another world?” , “everything ok?”
“I’m just tired and was thinking about something”
“Ok, well you can get a good night sleep tonight”
“There is the warning bell for dinner”
“I will be a few minutes, I ‘ll meet you there ok” Caitlin continues unpacking a few more things then she heads down to meet everyone else.


As she was heading down to the dining hall she heard a familiar voice that she could not ignore, she turned around, slowly as to not appear anything less then confident as opposed to the complete bowl of jelly that she truly felt like. This moment of time stood still, like a snapshot. She saw the boy that invaded her mind since last summer, that at times was more myth then real, the boy with the mesmerizing blue eyes and blonde hair and all she could do was stand there and stare, finally she managed to speak and said “Hi Jim” and she quickly walked away.


Jim was a free thinker and always spoke his mind. Though not arrogant he was confident in his beliefs, he would do anything for his friends. Jim moved around many times as a child. He was outgoing and he quickly made friends yet kept them at a safe distance because he never knew when he would have to leave. Typical army brat some would think., if you had a story about something, he knew either someone that experienced it or he did himself. Could get a little annoying at times but there was a sweetness about him that made all his foibles endearing. His voice was commanding and kids listened to him when he spoke.


They met last summer when she was just 15 and in the first part of her training program, she was not staff and no fraternization was allowed with non - staff members. They had flirtatious exchanges and one day their eyes met and held a gaze that was so powerful Caitlin was under a spell from it for years to come. Jim was not the type to express emotion; he was a hard person to read. Jim always says “What you see is what you get” and she wanted him.


Caitlin had a boyfriend for part of the year but he did not mean much to her. They met at the mall while she was shopping. They went roller skating and hung out playing cards with friends. It was a difficult relationship, Kevin was pressuring her sexually and she was not ready for that yet. She mustered up the courage to breakup with him in the late spring, as she did not want to have someone left at home when summer came. Caitlin broke Kevin’s heart but he never had hers to start with.


.................................................. ..........................................
“Why did I open that box?”

She hears her son and husband walk in the door.
“How was music lessons” You also have to work on your homework don’t forget”.
“Good and I know.”
“What did you do in school today.”
“Stuff.”
John was at that age where he was not too talkative and replied to everything in one or two word answers. Caitlin at least once a week trapped him in the car and would go for donuts, he usually opened up a bit more over a Boston Cream and apple juice.
“Honey are you ok? your not yourself” , “you actually look like your mad at something”
“No I am fine, I am bugged that I can’t find my black shoes that I was wanting to wear”
“Well if you kept your closet more organized you would be able to find things when you wanted them”
“Thanks dear , I will try to remember that.”
“I am almost all packed for tomorrow and will leave right from work so I won’t see either of you till Sunday afternoon”


Traffic is heavy on way to work, she hates driving into the city but this day was extremely heavy traffic, “must be an accident up ahead”. She turns on the radio and the morning shows are all doing their moronic talk that she was not in the mood for. “Time for some music” The C.D. starts and her favourite song begins, soon the traffic that is at a complete standstill is not bothering her, she sings along and it gets her thinking of the old days. Caitlin is one to listen to the words of a song and identify with the story it is telling.

......................................

this was a trigger--- back to the past Caitlin goes again.

Raging_Hopeful

Just a comment on the title itself. "Summer Never Ends" is very reminiscent of SEVERAL young adult books and series' so unless thats the audience you're seeking to attract, you might want to consider changing it. That was just my thoughts on it. Keep writing!

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character1_Caitlin

Thanks, I was wondering if I would change it. Thanks for that comment. I did do a google for the exact words and nothing came up. At some point, just the right thing will hit me like lighting I suppose.

Raging_Hopeful

Well it may not be the exact title but its the sentiment of the title that matters. Yeah, I think you can find a much more appropriate title for this piece, one that will draw a more varied audience. Good luck!

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