Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Fiction
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Fiction Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure, Thrillers etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-16-2005, 06:22 PM   #1
Writer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 41
Davie G. Porter is on a distinguished road
The Forgotten War Chapter 3 - Part 1

Hi I noticed that I didn't get any replies so I have split chapter 3 for the purposes of this post into 2 parts. Please, if you haven't already, read chapter 1 & 2 first. I still need to re-draft this so please don't comment too much on spelling and grammar, but any comments positive or negative are much appreciated because they will make me better.




Chapter III

The Desperation of
Mr Scrunch

Dama stepped outside of the bungalow. The sun was now a pink mesh behind the green and gold dazzled branches. The trees had always seemed to fascinate Dama. He didn’t know why this was he just felt that there was something magical about them. They almost seemed too perfect. As he made his way up the windy path he could feel the cobbles nobbling under his feet. The gate creaked again as he pushed it open and he made his journey back home.

As he trudged back through Farmer Rodgkins’ field, he heard a loud shouting, similar to the shouts he heard in his youthful days.

“Oi! You don’t come through here! Go back! Go Back!!!” screamed the farmer.
Dama kept himself low and continued to walk as he ignored the farmer’s cries, hoping that he was shouting at someone else.
“Hey, gnome! Go back! Please! Get out of here!” Dama noticed a slight tremor of fear in the old farmers voice, so he turned and looked at him. By now the farmer was running as fast as his old legs could carry him straight for the gnome. Dama didn’t need to glance twice and he also began to sprint as fast as he could away from the farmer.
“Don’t run! Stay you stupid thing! I’m not going to hurt you!” wailed Rodgkins.
Dama continued to run. Sweat dripping down his dirty face into his eyes. His heart pounding. The long crops scratching and clinging against his clothes. Just as Dama took another look behind, him to gauge where the old man was, he bumped into something solid, stumbled and fell back.

Dama looked up to see Mrs. Rodgkins staring down at him. Mrs. Rodgkins was taller than her husband and a lot more round. She had dark brown hair tied in a bun with dirty white band. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been combed or washed for weeks. The apron she wore around her waist was the same colour as her bright red cheeks. The only difference was that her apron had a greasy stain on it. The farmer’s wife had a look of fury for a split second, which then turned to panic.
“Come here you foolish gnome!” she said as she seized him by the wrist and dragged him towards the house that stood alone by the field with only a small water mill as it’s neighbour.
“Let go of me! I’m not a child! I need to get somewhere! LET GO OF ME!!!” yelled Dama.
“Be quiet you stupid thing” said the woman in a whispered yet agitated voice. “Don’t you think we’ve caused enough disturbance already!”
“What…but…”
“Shhhhhhhhh! You’re not in trouble. Just follow me.”

As the two moved towards the house, the old farmer eventually caught up with them. The three didn’t make another word until they got to the door.
“So, what’s going on?” asked the gnome.
“Indoors” replied the farmer.
As Dama made his way inside the house the smell of lamb swooped through his head. The house was old and built almost entirely out of wood. All the windows were boarded up and the only light came from a few candles scattered about the place.
“What is going on?” repeated Dama, slightly slower this time.
“Take your boots off and leave them there” said Rodgkins pointing to the corner.
“Is anyone going to tell me what is going on!” demanded Dama now getting extremely frustrated with the couple’s constant avoiding of this question.
“All will be explained” replied the farmers wife calmly, “but first, lets eat.”

Dama couldn’t be bothered to argue and the smell of the lamb was too tempting to refuse. The farmer and his wife made their way into the dining room, which was equally as dark. The table had been already laid for three people, which seemed to Dama extremely odd. Did the couple already know that Dama was going to come this way? Had they seen him walking through the field towards Mr Scrunch’s house? This just all added to Dama’s uneasiness.
“Take a seat then” said the farmer sounding irritated.
Dama had to give himself a boost to sit down in the tall stiff wooden chair and his feet were dangling from the floor. Mrs. Rodgkins then brought from the kitchen a red pot that was containing the steaming lamb. After a few minutes of silence where Mrs. Rodgkins was calving the lamb and placing a few pieces on each plate, the farmer broke the silence.
“So, Didley, what were you doing in my field” asked Rodgkins suspiciously.
“I thought you said that I wasn’t in trouble,” replied Dama, but as he looked up he realised how it might have came across rudely so he added “sir”.
“For the last time boy, you’re not in trouble! And don’t call me sir. Call me Bill if you must call me anything.”
“Why…?” started Dama.
“Because that’s my name boy!”
“And mine is Rose” added Mrs. Rodgkins.
“No I mean why am I not in trouble. You used to be furious at me when the other gnomelings and I used to walk on your fields.” Replied Dama trying his best not to sound rude. As he said this he saw Bill Rodgkins look up and stare at him in his eyes for a couple of seconds. For the first time Dama noticed a hint of pity behind those old grey eyes.
“You are in too much trouble, to be in trouble with us. Now eat up.”
“What do you…” But before he could finish his question Rose pushed the pot of meat towards Dama’s plate.
“All will be explained. But first you must eat.” Interrupted the wife.
The three continued to eat their meal in silence. Every now and then Bill and Rose would look up at each other with scared looks on their faces. After they finished the meal Mrs. Rodgkins stood up and cleared the table and Bill led Dama into the living room and sat him down.

“I’m going to ask you again,” said Bill in a false soothe, calming voice “why were u in my field this evening?”
“It was a shortcut.” Replied Dama.
As Dama said this Rose entered the room and took a seat opposite Didley.
“A shortcut from where?” asked Bill in the same false tone.
“A shortcut from Mr. Scrunch’s bungalow, back to my home” replied Dama also trying to maintain a calm voice. The look on the farmer and his wife’s face made Dama feel anything but comfortable.
“Did you enter Oberdukes house?” Bill asked, however he was sure he knew the answer.
“Oberduke?”
“Mr. Scrunch” replied Bill “Did you enter his house?” pressed Bill with the fake calmness leaving from his voice.
“Yes” said Dama.
From the reaction of the two humans Dama knew that this wasn’t the answer that they were hoping for.
“Then the time has come,” said Bill “Oberduke has found his companion and our worst fears are beginning to come true”
“You know about the mission?” asked Dama curiously.


Last edited by Davie G. Porter : 12-17-2005 at 12:38 PM.
Davie G. Porter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2005, 06:23 PM   #2
Writer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 41
Davie G. Porter is on a distinguished road
Part 2 will come soon

Last edited by Davie G. Porter : 12-17-2005 at 12:34 PM.
Davie G. Porter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2005, 12:36 PM   #3
Writer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 41
Davie G. Porter is on a distinguished road
Hi guys I reallised I posted far too much of Chapter 3, which I think people have found off-putting so I edited. Please enjoy.
__________________
...And then there was Porter!
Davie G. Porter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2005, 10:24 PM   #4
Scribe
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 54
Chinaren is on a distinguished road
Well, I like this chapter, it leaves you wanting more.

So...more!!
__________________
Read Tired of Death! - In Fiction.

A Comedy of Terrors.

Free writing site: here
Chinaren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2005, 04:48 AM   #5
Writer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 41
Davie G. Porter is on a distinguished road
Thank you very much! I will post part 2 to chapter 3 later today.
__________________
...And then there was Porter!
Davie G. Porter is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:59 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers