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Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 38
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Weird dude
“Your hair looks nice.”
David watched her date’s reaction curiously. She didn’t blush or anything, she just put on a Hitler smile. An Auschwitz prisoner may as well have told the Führer his voice was beautiful. She looked strong and secure, but everybody seemed to approach social interactions this way. This attitude was so boring. Everyone was scared of everyone else—if they appeared vulnerable in a single instant, the whole world would clammer down upon them and rape them like wild dogs.
He knew one person in his life who took a different approach. She was young, 15, and her look was wicked. When she walked in the room her eyes looked at everyone at once. She was sweet, short, STD-free and if you wanted to talk to her about her life, there was no admission. She was there to hug, divulge personal matters and free to take advantage of, but she looked too remarkable to think of such things.
That was 20 years ago. He stayed after class one day and checked out a personal essay of hers. It referenced something about “being little,” which made him smirk.
He continued smiling, staring at a grain of rice on his plate. He was emotional when he encountered something with the slightest bearing of sweet sentimentality. Why not? It was fun, and certainly gave him something to do.
David glanced up and looked at her for a moment.
“Linda, lemme ask you... what are you thinking about right now?”
She put her finger to her chin and looked up inquisitively—at a dangling string caught in the ceiling tiles, he noticed.
“Me? I’m thinking about Jerri Whittington. I’m pretty fond of Johnson’s decision.”
“Which decision?”
“His decision to hire him, of course. He’s the first African-American white house secretary.”
She was remarkable. Remarkably boring, yes, but also sweet, like an espresso in the morning. Dull by itself, yet still pretty nice. However, more important things were worth pondering, like Willy, a teenager David rode with in ‘Drivers Ed’ decades ago. Willy was a puzzle. He was well liked, down to earth, sluggish, completely simple-minded and showed no enthusiasm. He was the king of low enthusiasm. Why was that acceptable—to be lazy, incompetent and boring—? Because... he was someone you couldn’t hate, but couldn’t admire either. And by just standing still, looking stoned and spiritless, he dragged you down to his level. He inadvertently made you ashamed to possess a personality, to be an individual.
He caught glance of the waiter and called out, “Excuse me!”
The waiter walked quickly to his table. “Everything alright?”
David downed his last bit of water and said, “Yes, um, I’m trying to sleep with my date. Could you help me out here? I’ve always been weird when it comes to stuff like this.”
There was a silence. Linda raised her eyebrows and stared down at her plate. She was fond of her roast beef, certainly, but perhaps she was considering his question, thinking it over. David was very weird in interacting with other people, so he always made sure that he, at least, appeared self-aware. Explaining his awkward character habits was an easy way to relieve awkwardness.
Linda cleared her throat.
“Sir,” the waiter said softly, “I would advise you not to... approach the situation like this.”
He quickly turned and walked away with his platter.
The car stopped. Linda hadn’t made a single attempt at conversation since they left the restaurant. She may have been put off by his question to the waiter. Perhaps she was insulted that he asked the waiter and not Linda herself, or maybe she was on her period. She was a feisty one, that Linda. She was one of those women with limitless freedom, who soared high above the sky and left droppings on thousands of insignificant heads below. She was a wretched pain, but people saw her flying and they envied that freedom, that self-confidence to go wherever and do whatever she please. Some day someone would pull her down to earth and they’d settle down together , but until then she wasn’t going anywhere.
“Goodbye, David,” she said. She lifted herself out the car, and David watched as she walked to the silver gate of her house, pushed it open and walked up the front steps. Another successful date, David thought to himself, and he drove off.
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