Angels of Aurora 2 (PG13) - Writers Forum

Oasis Writer · 01-02-2005, 04:58 PM

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This thread is not the story anymore. To find the story, use my signature.

Aurora: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII

Oasis Writer · 01-04-2005, 02:17 PM

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writerprincess15 · 01-06-2005, 07:01 PM

Hey! I just wanted you to know that i have read a little bit of the beginning of this and i really really like it. I dont have time to read this at the moment. But i plan on reading it and getting back to you as quick as possible. From what i have read so far it seems very interesting and wonderfully well written.

writerprincess15 · 01-06-2005, 07:47 PM

Hey! It's me again! I finally got back to your story now and i've read it all. I know as a writer myself it is hard to take tough critiques. But i know that i always want the full and honest truth. So i am going to give you a full and honest critique. I hope aren't upset by this and if you wish for me to not give these kind of critiques anymore i wont. So here i go,

First of all i was you to know i am going to give you my both good and bad reviews.
Good:
As i read this i really really enjoyed it. You are a great writer and i really love you work. This story is sometihng i am definitely looking forward to reading more abuot. I really like your plot line. And you did a great job of describing your characters. You got me very interested in that. I like how you said "Remember the name Ryan" earlier on and then how you brought him back later without saying who he was right away. That is great. It keeps the reader guessing.
Bad:
I know, i know. This is the worst review to hear. Please dont be offended by my review. Remember that i am no perfect writer myself. This is just my opinion as a reader. Although your story has a good plot line and is very interesting, i have to say i did catch a lot of errors. You wrote in the past tense and then you kept switching it from past to present. I dont know if you realized you were doing it, i know i do that myself sometimes. That is just something that bugged me. I did also notice some spelling and grammor errors. But those are small things you can catch most likely when you read back on it. Some of the dialoge seemed a bit to unrealistic to me, but remember this is just my opinion. Also, i felt there were a few spots where you could have used description more then you did. But that is okay, you may have a reason for that.

Ok, so there is my review. Over all i really enjoyed your story and i am looking forward to reading more. There are a few things you could improve, but one again remember that i am no profesional writer and whether you choose to listen to me or not is up to you. I really am looking forward to more of this story and to you posting other stories as well. You are a great writer. Awesome Job! Keep it up!

Oasis Writer · 01-06-2005, 09:12 PM

Thank you, I really do appreaceate any and everything that someone has to say. I have noticed that I did go from past to present, farly a lot. That will probably be fixed later. I have already gotten most of my story written. I'm at about 200 pages and I just got it copyrighted yesterday. I plan to get it published, hopefully. I probably will post the second chapter today or tomorrow, who knows? Thank's again for the review, I really do use what people say and I really think about and take it to heart. Again, thank you.

writerprincess15 · 01-06-2005, 09:45 PM

Published eh? That's great! Maybe someday i will be saying "I knew that famous writer once!" LOL! Well that is great news, i hope this works out for you. I am trying myself to get one of my stories published. I have hundreds of them though, so i am going to have to choose one. I have been writing since i was 5. But anywho, congrats! I wish you luck!
Great, i cant wait for you to post more. Your story really is great!

Oasis Writer · 01-06-2005, 09:54 PM

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Novicewriter · 01-06-2005, 10:00 PM

Oasis...From what i've read (and I just started reading it) it seems like a very interesting story. It certianly had my attention and I will read more. For now though I have my own writing to tend to

Keep posting more.

NW

Oasis Writer · 01-06-2005, 10:15 PM

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writerprincess15 · 01-07-2005, 05:02 PM

Hey there! Just wanted you to know that i dont have very much time to read through this right now but i will. I am glad you posted more and i am excited to read what is going to happen! i will be back later to read and reply! Promise!

Oasis Writer · 01-08-2005, 03:27 AM

Okay, but only if you promise.

Talk to you later and thanks for reading my story.

writerprincess15 · 01-08-2005, 11:42 AM

Hey! I'm back!
Sorry it took me so long. Right now i am anxious to get back to my story and add to it. I have so many ideas! But i promised you i would give you a full reply. So i will! He he! I do after all have all day to write my story. Ok, so here is my review, and please remember that this is just an opinion of one writer who isn't even professional! he he!

Strengths:
Wow! Great job! You are doing such an awesome job with keeping you readers hooked. You really have me super super interested in everything and with what is going to happen next. You are great with description and with dialoge. It is really realistic. Your writeing style is grrrrrrrrreat! he he! When i am reading your story i can actually see it like is is a movie. Great job! It all seems to fit together like a perfect puzxle.

Weaknesses:
Oh i know, this is the worst part of reviews. I hate this part myself. For one thing you are doing better at that past and present tense thing. But i am still catching a bit of it here and there. There are a few spelling and grammer errors, but nothing big. Just things you can catch when reading through it another time.

And that was it! hehe! I bet you thought i had alot of bad things to say. Well i dont. The only bad things are the errors with spelling and grammer and everyone is guilty of those. Myself especially. he he! Overall i really really like where you are going and i think this story is fabulous! Keep up the great work and i cant wait to read more.
Ok, now that review wasn't as long as it coudld be, i admit. I could have gone into detial more. But my fingers are itching to write more to my story! he he! So i am off to do that! But i will be back with eager eyes when you have posted more! he he! Hugs!

writerprincess15 aka Terra

Oasis Writer · 01-08-2005, 11:53 AM

Thank you, I really do appreaceate it. I already have my Chapter three complete. I just have one problem. I found the limit on a post, it's 20 pages. My Chapter Three is close to 40 pages. I have to figure out where everything will fit because it will be close to three posts and I don't like that.

But I'll work with it.

Oh, and thanks for thinking I'm funny. I like being funny for people. It makes my day just as well as when people read my story. So than, thank you, you made my day.

writerprincess15 · 01-08-2005, 02:01 PM

lol, you are funny. My aunt is like that to, she loves when she can make people laugh..so are a few of my uncles and cousins. he he.
Oh, about chapter three. hmmmmmmm, just do what you think is right. Just post it in three posts like you were saying before and dont worry abuot where it cuts off. We as readers will be able to get it. he he. Wow..40 pages eh? It seems i am going to have my work cut out for me! lol, well i just finished chapter 5 of purple mist. yay!
Good luck with posting chapter three, i am looking forward to it! Hugs!

writerprincess15 aka Terra

Oasis Writer · 01-08-2005, 02:08 PM

My story from The Prologue to my present Chapter I'm writing which is Chapter Seven, I have over 200 pages. My story is going to be extremly long. I have 20 chapters and only 8 of them done with 200 pages, (repeat), and I'm going to have 4 books exactly like that (format wise). I have a prequel to this story, and 2 sequels. Ha, I'll be at this writing thing till I graduate. I feel so unloved and sort of stupid. Probably because I posted this post before in the poetry.