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Fiction Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure, Thrillers etc.

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Old 03-06-2004, 12:21 AM   #1
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The Machine, Alone

The machine emerges from its sleeping container. As if it is a newborn baby emerging into the world, the machine rises. It steps out a few feet away. Looking around wondering why it is here, and where it is. This machine has no memory, no purpose, no hope to know anything. It is donned in a strange armor, covering it completely. The armor consists of a green helmet, that resembles a skull, black arm and leg guard armor, with yellow pads at the knees and elbows, and brown chest and waist armor that is very light weight. The machine continues to gaze around in wonder at the surroundings. It is in a woods area, but plants and trees are burned. There is a person laying facedown in a small area of grass. Just like an exploring child, the machine goes to the body in the grass and trys to wake her up. But the woman is dead. Machine just stares and then turns away as if he is going to cry. Machine can feel the emotion in his soul, but tears will not flow from his mechanical eyes. He stands up and starts to walk out of these woods, not knowing who he is, or what he will find in this lonely world.

_______

Please tell me what you think of this , and if I should continue, or redo it, or anything.Thank You

-Featherpen
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Old 03-11-2004, 10:30 AM   #2
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I think you could give it more detail of when it finds the dead woman and what the girl looks like. Another thing, you have to also give it more detail about the machine, does it have AI? How can it feel things? How does it have a soul? Why can't it cry? But otherwise, it gives a good picture in the mind, but just some minor things to work out.
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Old 03-14-2004, 12:59 AM   #3
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I'm not going to continue. I didn't give it enough thought about what it would be about. I'll maybe rethink the story and ideas and try again in the far future.
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