|
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: inside the depths of my own imagination...
Posts: 23
|
1/4th of a *will-be* children's story...comments, please?
Hey, y'all...I'm writing this one for middle readers and I need to know if my perspective is right. Tell me whatcha think!
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
THE LAND OF TOOTSKABOGGEN (or What Happens When You Skip School...)
“So what are we taking?” Andy picked up his sister’s bottle of sunscreen and tossed it into the bag his sister had begun packing.
“Well, we need the basics for a day at the beach, which we’ve got. Anything you want to add to our little pile?” Deanne looked at him in question.
Andy took his watch off the dresser and put it on. “I think we need to keep track of what time it is. We’re only spending the morning at the beach, right? We need to find the right moment to sneak back into school and act like we’ve been there all day!” He laughed gleefully as if it were the best idea of the century.
“Lunchtime would be the best. At the time when our class just gets to the cafeteria, that way we would just sort of blend in. The teachers wouldn’t notice, and if our class does we’ll just tell them we had a doctor’s appointment or something.” Deanne explained reasonably as Andy patted her on the shoulder.
“Sister dear, you are absolutely brilliant. You should get an award!” He praised.
Deanne and Andy were very close as they always have been, always scheming different projects they tried out and teasing their parents to no end. They weren’t joined at the hip, although they really could have been. The two unruly sixth-grade kids were fraternal twins, complete with red hair and flaming personalities. This morning was no exception, as they were trying to successfully skip a morning of school and remain uncaught. They had done it before, but they wanted to be cautious anyway.
“Okay, we’re all set. It’s about seven-thirty. We’ll need to get downstairs and out the front door without Mom and Dad noticing. If I distract them with something, you can go out behind us.” Deanne said.
Andy picked up the bag and thrust it over his shoulder. “Sure, no problem.”
Deanne bounced downstairs and into the bathroom where her mother stood, putting on her makeup. “Hi, Mom! You look great, just like you always do.” Giving her mother a kiss on the cheek, she picked up her brush and started fixing her long hair into a high ponytail.
Looking at her daughter in the mirror with a wry smile, she put her mascara in the little makeup bag she kept on the counter. “So do you, honey. I like that color on you, you know. Redheads always have such a hard time with what kinds of shades they can wear,” she explained for what seemed the hundredth time.
Deanne giggled. “Well, then it’s a good thing I happen to like royal blue, huh? I kinda wish I had Andy’s eyes. If I had blue eyes I wouldn’t feel so much like an alien with my green ones.” Deanne complained. In her opinion, she felt like a Christmas tree with red hair and green eyes!
Her mother chuckled. “Honey, honey, I’ve told you a thousand times before. You’re beautiful! Besides, your aunt Matilda had green eyes,” she reasoned.
Deanne rolled her eyes. “Mom. Aunt Millie is blonde! There’s a difference. When can I get those cool contacts that make your eyes another color?”
“About the same time they’ll let me get a tattoo,” Andy popped into the room. “Hey, Mom!” he grinned.
Their mother hugged them both. “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you just wait until you two are old enough to move out on your own? That way you won’t have to ask us if we could let you do whatever you want.”
Andy groaned. “That’s practically a century away! You just don’t want me to get a tattoo, Mom.” He accused her.
Mom shook her head. “Not while you’re in my house, you won’t!”
Deanne glanced at the clock. “We’ll have to resolve this conversation at a later time. We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave pretty soon.”
Their mother grabbed her keys. “I’ll take you guys,” she offered.
Andy shook his head. “Oh, that’s okay, Mom. You don’t want to be late for work. We’re okay. It’s a nice day, anyway.”
Deanne picked up the backpack they shared and opened up the door. “Bye, Mom! See you after school!” she waved as she and her brother left the house.
Andy let out a big sigh. “That went well, I think,” he grinned. “I put our stuff in the recycling bin!” He told his sister as he walked around to the side of the house.
“You always get paranoid. And what did getting a tattoo have to do with me preferring the color of your eyes?” Deanne sounded amused.
Andy laughed as they grabbed their stuff and walked down the road. “Maybe that was a little much. But I wanted to make sure Mom was distracted enough so she wouldn’t think about the sound our front door made.”
Deanne nodded. “Clever, clever.” She agreed.
It wasn’t a long way to the beach from their house. Andy went there usually on the weekends to find interesting things. Deanne, on the other hand, went there every day to look for her next adventure. She had a knack of finding the right atmosphere for the ultimate fantasy situation. It was just a week ago that Deanne and Andy sent out yet another note inside a bottle. This one was an invitation for the next child on a boat by herself to come and live with them. Deanne had gotten bored with the idea, since none of the bottles had come back.
“You just have to give it a lot more time, sis,” Andy had told her.
They had been planning this for weeks. Deanne desperately wanted to get out of the history test she hadn’t studied for, while Andy wished to take a small break from the school bully who tormented him every day since school began. It was just a morning off, it wasn’t like they were skipping the whole day! They were just getting a late start, that’s all. Besides, Deanne and Andy were pretty close and missed each other hanging around. Life had gotten busy, but it was still boring. They were looking for adventure and the beach was the best place for them to do it. You could find anything that washed up on the shore! Shells, jewelry, somebody’s missing tooth…
After they walked out of sight from the house they started half running and half jogging to their destination. It wasn’t far from where they lived and they knew the way by heart. Ten minutes later, they were taking off their shoes and socks as they went running into the sand. They were pleasantly surprised that since it was Tuesday morning, they were the only people there. Most everybody else was in school or at work!
“Hey,” Deanne called over to her brother. “Why don’t we put our stuff over there by the rocks? That way we can change into our suits and our stuff will be safe from the waves.”
Andy gave his sister the thumbs-up sign and ran over to where she was. “And we should put the watch in one of the backpacks so it won’t get wet, too.” He took his watch off and handed it to her. “It’s one of those non-water resistant ones.”
They set their stuff in the sand and prepared to change into their bathing suits, but they never got that far. Deanne glanced up into the rock in order to find a place to set her shoes on so they wouldn’t get sand in them. When she did, she saw something that almost stopped her heart for two beats and set her imagination running full speed.
“Um, I think you might be interested in this,” Deanne said to her brother. Andy looked up from his backpack. “What is it?” he wanted to know.
She didn’t know how to explain to her brother that she’d found something out of another world, another time, another lifestyle. What she had found in those rocks was exactly what she had been looking for…maybe. Her heart was racing at the possibility.
“What is that stuff?!” Andy exclaimed. They both looked upon what appeared to be a silvery semi-liquid mass of…
“I don’t know,” Deanne said carefully. “but I’m willing to bet it’s unicorn blood!” she exclaimed happily. She looked at Andy as he frowned skeptically.
“Oh, come on! Unicorn blood. Get real, Dee!” He laughed at her. He knew she was into all the fairy stories and stuff, but he didn’t think she believed it like it was real or something! After all, they weren’t seven years old anymore.
“Well? It looks just like it could be. And I suppose you think it’s something out of one of your robot sci-fi stories. Like some mercury-induced zombie or something?” she scoffed at him, her green eyes blazing fire. “Besides, unicorns are real. You only have to believe in them and if you want to see one, you will.” She explained with enough confidence to convince someone the sky was actually purple.
Andy shook his head. “Whatever. We need to find out what this is, though. If we can just find a stick or something, we can see if it can move.” He looked around for some debris left on shore by the waves.
Deanne put her hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong with this?” she asked him as she stuck her other hand in the silver mess.
“Deanne, don’t!” Andy cried out.
As soon as Deanne’s hand touched it, the silver began to turn a deep blue. It made some gurgly spitting sounds and then began to slowly turn clockwise, as if it were mixing up some cake batter.
Deanne and Andy could only stare at it, speechless. They couldn’t even look at each other because they didn’t want to miss whatever could happen next.
Then it made a sound like static electricity, turned violet in color, and began to grow. It grew slowly, but it grew into a shape easily recognized.
“I don’t believe it. It’s a door, a real door!” Deanne whispered. Andy could only nod. His sister may have said she didn’t believe it, but he really didn’t. Nothing ever happens like this, at least not to them!
The door began to talk to them after it had stopped growing. It was a voice they didn’t recognize from anyone, not even from a story person. They could hear a faint drumming sound, as if some tribe were dancing around an ancient fire. And they listened to this voice as if their lives depended on every word it said.
“Welcome to the land of Tootskaboggen! I see you are quite confused. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Manx. I am the Gatekeeper of Tootskaboggen. Through me you will find your way onto the path of exactly what you desire, and when you’ve finished I’ll see to it that you arrive back home safely. Now, then. Do you two have any questions? I recognize the look of utter astonishment on your faces. Don’t be afraid, children, there is nothing here that would ever harm you.”
Deanne and Andy sat down and stared at the mysterious door in front of them. Not in a million years would they have dreamed of this kind of adventure. Sure, they were always looking for one…but mostly all they got were of the normal kind. This was something totally different.
Deanne knew they had to go through the door, no matter what the cost or consequence. They just had to. She also knew it would be difficult to convince her brother that this was okay to do. And she knew they had a very annoying time limit, something that was never present in the stories she’d read.
Andy put his hand on Deanne’s shoulder. “What are we supposed to do now? This is your field, you gotta know somethin’.” He whispered.
Deanne turned to face him. “We gotta do it. This is our chance!” Her eyes told him she was serious.
“Do what?” Andy couldn’t believe she was actually going to…
Deanne rolled her eyes. “Andy. You know exactly what we’re doing. We’re going through the door.” And with that, she got up and grabbed her socks and shoes.
“Oh, come on. You don’t really expect me to actually jump through this thing without any information about where we’re going or what will happen to us, do you?! You’re crazier than I thought, Deanne. Go ahead, but I’m not going.” Andy stood up and folded his arms across his chest.
Deanne looked at him with fire in her eyes. “You’re scared, Andy. You don’t have to go with me, I didn’t expect you to anyway. Just do me a favor and don’t tell Mom where I am when I’m not home for supper.” She exclaimed as she laced up her sneakers.
Andy stared at her in disbelief. “Scared. You think I’m scared.” He laughed a little and shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’m not scared, Dee, I’m just a little concerned about the stability of your head!” He shouted.
“The stability of my…” she repeated under her breath. “Oh, you’re funny. Yeah, Andy. You’re scared. And you wanted adventure, too! When you finally get some, you go chicken on me. I don’t believe this!” She fumed.
Through all of this bickering, Manx the Door of Tootskaboggen waited patiently. He seemed to show expression with the different colors he displayed in the doorway, only the twins never noticed. Finally, Manx decided to step in.
“Excuse me, please…if I may say a word?”
Immediately the kids stopped in their tracks and stared at the door, now a bright yellowish-orange. The voice continued to speak in a soft, leathery tone, but this time it sounded a bit more urgent.
“S-sure, go ahead,” Deanne stuttered. She looked at her brother and wondered what sort of thing this door had to say to them. Andy just shrugged and crossed his arms.
“We really need your help here in Tootskaboggen! King Odin is dying. Queen Sophia has no idea how to find the cure for him…and she is searching for the right kind of children to find it. We’ve looked everywhere for you two…it seems to us that you should be the ones chosen. Will you help us?”
Deanne’s expression had ‘yes’ written all over it, but it was Andy who spoke up.
“If we help you guys find the cure for King Odin, how are we supposed to know what time to come back here? We’re actually supposed to be in school right now, and…” he began.
“Count us in, Manx! We’ll do it.” Deanne interrupted her brother. “What’s wrong with King Odin, anyway?”
“Wonderful! I knew you two would be just the ones to help us. The King has an infection of the imaginatory gland. He’s losing his style, I’m afraid, and we need kids like you to help him gain the strength he needs to wipe away the sickness.” Manx turned a bright pink and flittered lightly to show his appreciation while Deanne reasoned with her brother.
“Andy, this is the chance we’ve been waiting for! Are you saying that you’re making up all those wishes you’ve made for adventure? If we don’t go through that door right now, it might never come back. We’ll never have another chance for as long as we live! Please, Andy, come with me,” Deanne pleaded.
“But what about school? If we go through that door, we might not make it in time. We might not come back for days, Dee. We’ll get into serious trouble!” He argued.
Deanne blew the bangs off her forehead in exasperation and turned to Manx.
“Manx, I have a question. What time would it be when we get back home?”
“Ahh, that’s the question everyone asks. On the contrary, you would arrive back home at the exact moment that you left. Little Andy here shouldn’t worry! When you finish your adventure here in Tootskaboggen and decide to go back to your home, you’ll find that you will get there at the same time you went through the door. It’s a time warp door, really. I’m very proud of it,” Manx flashed bright colors happily.
Andy sighed deeply. “Oh, good. I was afraid I’d have to let my sister down. I really want to help, I was just…”
“He was just being the parent of the group, actually.” Deanne interrupted and then turned to look at her brother. “I swear, you’re just like Daddy! C’mon, Andy.” They both stepped up to the doorway, which was bright purple again.
“Manx, we’re ready to go through! Will you watch our stuff until we get back?” Deanne asked him.
“I sure will. Now, it helps me greatly if you two would hold hands through the door. Ready? On the count of three…one, two, three!”
Deanne and Andy glanced at each other as they grabbed each other’s hands and jumped together through the sparkling rainbow colored door to Tootskaboggen.
They both felt as though they had just jumped into a giant tumbler. Deanne and Andy tossed and turned about in mid-air, and it seemed as though they were going down a hill somehow. They were moving slow enough that it seemed like they were inside another dimension, and they found that they could move freely in all directions.
“Hey, Andy! We’re floating, sort of like that little girl in that weird story about that queen who likes to decapitate people,” Deanne called over to her brother.
“Um, yeah. I wonder what happens when we hit the bottom?” He answered her, sort of distractedly, looking below them.
“Oh, I suppose we’ll know when we get there. Look around you, Andy! It’s totally awesome!” Deanne exclaimed. “Listen. Our voices echo in here!”
Andy looked at the walls as they floated past them and listened to the sound their voices made on the walls. “Lovely. I think I see now what kind of roles you and I play. You’re the one who relishes in the here and now, contemplating everything you see as somethin’ way out of proportion. I, however, am the one who will get us through this journey.” He smirked.
Deanne turned and faced him as she floated down with her brother, her long auburn hair forming an angelic waterfall behind her. “Oh, yeah? And what, pray tell, is your role all about? Controlling tyranny?” She joked.
“Cute. No, I’m just going to play out the role that is opposite to you. I have to be the one focused on what comes next, the one who looks for the way out after the adventure is done and everyone is happy again. Isn’t that how it works?”
Deanne rolled her eyes at him. “See, that’s how you think. This is not a race, Andy; it’s like a way of life. Can’t you be more like me and enjoy what’s going on right now?” She explained.
At that very moment they hit the bottom of the doorway with somewhat of a soft thud. The only light was from the doorway at the top, where Manx was, and it didn’t reach very far. This made the area seem more like gap in time than anything. When they landed, both of them instinctively tried to protect each other from getting hurt as they rolled around for a second on the soft ground.
“I did not enjoy that.” Sarcasm filled Andy’s voice as he sat up to face Deanne. “Besides, I’m more like you than anybody else. I’m your twin!”
“I apologize for that, sir and madam. It was my job to make sure there was a soft cloud for you to land on. I didn’t have it there in time, and I am so sorry…please forgive me!” A voice came from a dark corner to their left. The sound of it seemed like the body it belonged to was meek and very short.
“Oh, sure we forgive you…really, it wasn’t that bad.” Deanne called over. “Can you come into the light where we can meet each other properly?” She said as she stood up and rubbed her jeans where some dirt from the ground had smudged them.
A few seconds had passed and a mole of average size came out into the light.
__________________
I don't write to find out who I am.
I don't write to find out who I was.
I write to meet the person I'm gonna be.
|
