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Old 06-10-2003, 05:03 PM   #1
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Csira
Tasty Snippets of 'Visions'

There is a shortage of threads in here, aren't there? >>;

Well, since I can't exactly post an entire chapter of my current story, I'll give you a tasty snippet. It's just for your enjoyment. Maybe when I get time off during summer, I'll work on revising one of my fantasy short stories? In the meanwhile, sit back and read the latest addition to my favorite paragraphs:

(Excerpt from 'Visions') ~

He immediately corrected her, “She is not dead… yet.”

Then, Dark Shadow shuddered. He cringed at those words. As much as he hoped that Meari would not die, he did not want to defy Destiny. He truthfully never believed in Fate or Destiny, but slowly realizations of their existence occurred to him. Although he was not frightened, he was worried. The prospect of Meari’s death dealt him a menacing blow. Yet, he still could not understand why he cherished her life.

There could never be a possibility, he thought. He always had been a heartless warrior, or murderer, and his talents had earned him praise and the power he desired. Nowadays he was not satisfied with the power and much wanted respect. He wanted something more, and strangely his mind connected that something with Meari. Inwardly he disgustedly spat at the probability that he loved her. Love was such a useless notion.

One does not need love to live,’ Omenis attempted to convince himself.

Yet, he appreciated her presence. He already consecrated her spirit that embodied cheerfulness and optimism, and most of all, the very essence of her soul into his mind and heart. Ever since the incident in Varena, he looked upon her in a different light. He grew to understand her qualms, miseries, and burdens. Alas, they reminded him of his own struggles during his childhood, which he resolved never to speak openly. This eventually created his protectiveness over her against the harsh reality that she began to encounter. On the contrary, all these ideas, he did not connect with love. He did not understand love, but he understood the reasoning behind his emotions: empathy.
---
By the way, Omenis is the true name of Dark Shadow (which is an alias). Most of my characters have aliases ^^; , and Meari is the main character..etc. Can't you tell that I like to write/talk a lot?
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Old 06-12-2003, 07:43 AM   #2
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Re: Tasty Snippets of 'Visions'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Csira
Can't you tell that I like to write/talk a lot?
Yes
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Old 06-12-2003, 11:59 AM   #3
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Csira

As I stated before you are a gifted writer. In just those three short paragraghs you gave an excellent portrait of a conflicted man. It makes me want to get to know him better. His realization that maybe he does need love to live has him questioning the very core of his being. You have a good grasp of the human condition. I will be the first in line to buy your book.

Warmest Regards
Bob
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Old 06-13-2003, 03:25 PM   #4
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Thank for your kind words, rcallaci, as always. Your words always seem to make me happy, and I must thank you for that too. Hopefully the other paragraphs in my story will be as good. ^^; I seem to be comfortable with writing certain characters than others. As for Omenis, all his emotions and dialogue, I can so easily convey. But I have difficulty in writing the dialogue and characterization for my main character, Meari. That might prove to be a problem, won't it?

Haha, mattquarterstein, I'm not as talkative on my other messageboard. I am more reserved, but this forum brings out the hyper side of me. I am always so happy when I visit this forum. lol.
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Old 06-14-2003, 09:53 PM   #5
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Good. Flows very well, and rich characters make it interesting.
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