Hey guys. Prose isn't really my thing, and I wanna change that. So please, rip this apart with your critique, but please also do tell me what's good. I really wanna improve.
the godless boy.
I fell in love with the godless boy down the street. Maybe it was something about the way his hair flicked away from his forehead just before bothering his eyes. Or the way seas of people would part when they saw him approach. Most likely though, it was just the way he was on that particular day.
I saw him around a lot of places and often, keeping to himself while walking crowded streets. He never seemed worth any special attention, though, past noticing how strangely aloof he seemed to be. He had shrouded his impiety in silence and even masked it with church, as if hoping no one would catch on. He was just another grain of sand on the beach.
But one day Susie came back from recess crying and told us all that the boy was a devil monster. She said that God had left him, because he had left God. Or was it the other way around? I cannot remember, but they seem to end the same way so perhaps I do not need to. In any case she lost herself in tears after that and would not say any more to anyone. I saw the boy outside our classroom window then. He was looking in at Susie, watching her with fear and sadness and regret. I think that no one else saw that.
Susie’s information spread quickly and openly, becoming the word everyone needed to hear. Beware the boy without our god, that unholy quiet one. They said that satan lived within him in the absence of the lord, and my parents told me that the boy was bad so they must have been right. I was to stay away. I did.
Some time later the electricity ran out and everyone was frustrated. The power company claimed that they would have some more soon enough, but there was none at that moment, and, really, that was all that mattered. There was nothing on the television, because the television could not turn on. A while passed and people began to murmur and then shout that the devil himself had taken our electricity. People always need something to do. Not doing anything was not something they were intended for. So they found the godless boy and set to stoning him. I did not follow them, because I had a very nice view from my bedroom windowsill and so had no need to.
They tied him up on a cross and took nails to his hands. To make him understand, I suppose, what our savior went through so that we would not have to suffer. I watched them bludgeon him, seeing the first thud, then the next, and then a patter. I heard the boy break and cry out. He slumped as though he wanted to fall but couldn't. It was then, I think, that I fell in love with him. When he tried to die. Just before he really did.