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Thread: First scene of my novel, Scorch (815 words)

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    Global Moderator j.w.olson's Avatar
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    First scene of my novel, Scorch (815 words)

    'Ello all. I'm in the editing and rewriting stages of my novel, and I've just completely redone the first scene. So here's the deal -- I'm going to post it here, and you're going to do one or two things. First, tell me what you think of it -- what's confusing, what's good, what's bad, how it can be improved. Second, try to tell me as much as you can about what you think the setting, genre, plot, main characters, etc are going to be just based on this snippet. I'm sure it'll go through some more revision, but your feedback will be a helpful part of that process. Thanks!


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    Last edited by j.w.olson; 08-29-2011 at 04:39 PM.
    "Never get so attached to a poem you forget truth that lacks lyricism." - Joanna Newsom
    "So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." - Bob Dylan

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    Global Moderator j.w.olson's Avatar
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    There aren't many dialogue tags -- was that confusing? Is there too much or too little exposition in terms of setting/etc? Is the dialogue believable?
    "Never get so attached to a poem you forget truth that lacks lyricism." - Joanna Newsom
    "So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." - Bob Dylan

  3. #3
    Ink Blot
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    The conversation's very top notch. There was only the very beginning that got me stumbling as well as this snippet

    “Eh, forget I asked. Hey, did you hear something?”

    The wind off the plains, which howls with pain for its world devoid of rain.”

    “Yeah, I meant over there.” He gestured deeper into the alley to a spilled stack of old crates.
    But overall I'm intrigued by these tavern hoppers.

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