Thread: Abstract Dream Logs

11.13.10

Zombies... With brains and therefore the ability to plot and trap their prey. Apparently my subconscious denied me the upper hand and served me the disadvantage. The feeling of eminent failure reeked strongly as I and a group of unnamed, unimportant people ran. Their faces were probably vague captures from random passers by in my waking life. Details are becoming fuzzier as the day progresses but I remember an elaborate trap the walking stiffs had set up for us. The setting? A mall with death trap escalators, sharp glass doors, and your fellows turning against you. One of the zombies, perhaps my most favorite subconscious creation, decided to work independently. Turning on everyone she spread false information of the presence of a bomb. Both zombies and humans fled... One party suffered casualties while the other saw an increase in numbers. The place was empty and on lock down ... A married couple too lost in their own world stayed behind and as an onlooker I knew they would become victims of the opportunistic she -zombie. My own character's actions are less vivid. All I know is that I was merely mortal and jumping at the chance to take stupid risks because sacrificing myself for the benefit of another seemed so goddamn important.



11.14.10

It was pertinent for Michelle and I to drive off in my family mini van. We were given the keys, my permit, and the registration papers. It was I who stated that I could drive and therefore I was going to. Next thing I knew, I was behind the wheel. The feeling of humanity eroded in my mind as crowds of people ran towards our driving car. I realized I didn't much care if I hit one. The way that the car took away my morals and responsibilities was daunting. We came to a traffic jam due to the animated crowd and I did not press the breaks fully. People in the backseat that I hadn't noticed before gasped dramatically. I rode on until the car spat us out. I was someone else now. A man with a child on earth. This planet was no longer beneficial. I was alone now, the rioting crowd must have claimed my comrades. I headed towards the strange star ship, alone in the field. Knowing that it was mine and my destiny. The shape was elegant and lean, I would have mistaken it for a statue if it hadn't been mine. I found a piece that pulls out and with great phallic imagery, it extended into a telescope. I was at the center of the starship with the telescope being in the dead middle. I saw the zipper and with quick fingers I insured my quick entry into the vessel. A message played to me. Telling me to locate my son. A son who was a mosquito? Some Buddhist connotation right there! I was happy to finally get out of here. And then a random development occurred...My comrades reappeared and assured me I didn't have to leave. That this new planet was better, that it was home. An unreal sense of easiness squandered away my need to escape. I removed myself from the starship and the last thing I saw was a happy mosquito...retrieving pollen on his lonesome.

I really love your style. It's clear and concise without sacrificing the poetic element. I'm assuming these are actual dreams of yours, which explains the stream of consciousness plot. You avoid the "and then, and then, and then" that can happen with this sort of story, which is nice. The phallic telescope and the mosquito son in the second one made me laugh. I think these have a lot of potential to be developed into surreal short stories. The first one follows a fairly traditional zombie plot line, but I think you have enough imagination in it to maybe do something different. I think the second one shows a lot of promise for more development into a full short story. I think it would be a great story to write straight, with all the bizarre happenings being written like any other day to day event. Like in the style of magic realism. I would also be curious to see it written in third person with the gendered pronouns switching half way through.

It sounds like your dreams are a great source of inspiration. Definitely keep writing them down!

Thank you very much for the feedback! I shall experiment with expanding these into full fledged short stories!