Thread: Nocturne [vignette]

[QUOTE=toddm;1449661]..........A constellation of freckles, the fruit of twelve summers, lay across Sarah’s cheeks and nose and brought to mind carefree days spent out of doors. Her large blue eyes were as clear as the cloudless sky and still sparkled with that undimmed mirth and joy of life that commonly abides in the female child before the complexities of adulthood loom large on the horizon.[/QUOTE]

This is a great opening to your vignette. For some reason Karen Gillan comes to mind when I read this piece on Sarah.

This is a great opening to your vignette. For some reason Karen Gillan comes to mind when I read this piece on Sarah.

Glad you liked the opening - the first line is what I had to go on, and the rest flowed from there

I had to look Ms. Gillan up, and I see what you mean - also fitting is the little girl who played the twins in the Parent Trap remake from several years back.

thanks for the feedback -
---todd

I am pretty sure that I ditched my "English Composition" class so I will let the more educated folks comment on those sorts of things.

However, I am a voracious reader and love a well turned word. Your story captured my mind completely. I was wondering what was going on and where the tale was going throughout the piece and was compelled to read on. The characters were real. I could not only see them, but feel them as well. I felt like I was there and you left me wanting more....

Well done.

nerot

Originally Posted by nerot

I am pretty sure that I ditched my "English Composition" class so I will let the more educated folks comment on those sorts of things.

However, I am a voracious reader and love a well turned word. Your story captured my mind completely. I was wondering what was going on and where the tale was going throughout the piece and was compelled to read on. The characters were real. I could not only see them, but feel them as well. I felt like I was there and you left me wanting more....

Well done.

nerot

Thanks so much for this feedback, nerot, I really appreciate it - now, if I could only sustain this kind of writing over the span of a novel or even a good length short story, I would gain a great deal of satisfaction -
---todd