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Chapter OneA Journey With Mom
As I drifted into this world I was alone in the blackness, some of the faces looked familiar. They looked like people I knew and was even related to often. It seemed like all the faces of people I’ve ever met were cascading by in my mind. I did have a vivid recollection of my mother whose maiden name was Marian Sanguedolce. As if appearing to me somehow saying “Greg, I love you, you’re my little baby. You love stories so let me tell you some stories that I know are important to you.” All I could manage was a passive “alright ma, whatever you say.” I was in a weakened state, feeling eerily detached almost out of body, weak but not in pain at all. In the distance I could hear someone talking but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I also could hear the sound of water that seemed to be both above me and below me. I felt weak and detached but things started to come back into focus and I could see and hear clearly now. My mother was a tall woman with classic Mediterranean features while my father was of average height for Italians about 5’8 they were well-matched in size and stature.
It was just afternoon on Sunday, January 10, 1954 and Marian and Roy Masceri were getting ready to have dinner at Gregorio and Carmella Masceri’s house on West Ave.
The West Avenue area was about three blocks from St. Mary’s hospital and in the neighborhood known as Bulls Head was teaming with a beautiful snow crescent day filled with sunshine.
It was Roy’s parents house as they and the rest of the family were getting ready to welcome a newcomer, a new baby that Marian was carrying and due anytime. There was his oldest sister Mary who was 26 then and remained single her whole life. Margaret who was next, Lou at age 23 and his wife Louella with their infant son Richard. Dorothy who was a year older than Roy.
Roy was the youngest of five children and at age 20 about to become a daddy. Marian was also 20 and was the second of four children of Joe and Rose Sanguedolce. Her older brother Russ was 22 and she had a nine-year-old brother Joe and five-year-old brother Basil.
Carmella’s oldest daughter Mary announced that “The sauce is ready, I’ll leave it covered and turn off the heat”. As Mario Lanza’s record was belting out another tune at Casa Masceri. Gregorio said “silence please” as Lanza played. He’d hated for Mario to be interrupted. Everyone began to gather round the dining room table as no one could sit until father did. So as Gregorio sat at the head of the table he made a motion and said” sit down everybody and eat” he proclaimed. Like sheep they came as Lou and Louella took their seats nearest dad and Carmella sat at the foot of the table as Mary, Margaret and Dorothy finished bringing in the platters of food.
Then when all was served the three young women sat on either side of Marian and Roy. Except for an occasional question or order there was only the silence of people happily eating and the sound of that accompanied by beautiful Italian music.
Suddenly, Marian felt something wet as her water broke. With a shrill “Oh my god” she was up from her seat and frantic “Oh dear lord” she said, mother Carmella said “it’s ok honey, everything is ok”. Roy moved quickly and saying nervously “I guess it’s time to go.” Everyone was both nervous and excited for the occasion. It looked like the time had come the baby was ready. Lou encouragingly yelled out “Go get ‘em Roy, go get your baby”. Roy and Marian were off to St Mary’s hospital to have a baby and Carmella was on the phone to her parents who were thankful for the call.
Rose told Joe “let’s go its time” and they were off to the hospital as well. Their oldest boy Russell was driving the car as Joe sat next to him in the front seat and Rose sat in the backseat.
As they drove the radio was playing the Italian Hour as sounds of their heritage filled the 1949 Dodge station wagon. Russ said “Any side bets on whether it’s a boy or girl?” Joe just sat there, the strong silent type and Rose said “I think it’ll be a boy, everyone wants a boy first, like you Russ.” Joe rolled his eyes and Russ had a big grin on his face realizing his mother’s love.
About 3:30 pm Marian was not yet in hard labor. She had some contractions but not strong pains yet. Roy was with her and holding her hand, “How do you feel honey?” “Oh, alright, just a little pain, but I’m afraid” she said. “Everything’s going to be just fine”. They were saying good-bye as the nurse had told them she’d be back to check on her shortly. Roy told her “you need to be brave now honey, I’m proud of you……I love you honey.” As Roy laid a kiss on her forehead he was escorted to the waiting room.
Joe and Gregorio sat with Russell in the waiting room and made mostly nervous small talk. Gregorio was a handyman who did some remodeling and handiwork and Joe was a self-employed landlord who was handy as well. Joe owned a lot of real estate in the west side Italian neighborhood called the Ninth Ward. Nervously, they awaited their grandchild and niece or nephew respectively. Rose and Carmella meanwhile were engaged in a much more serious discussion of the baby’s room. They would have to sit and wait for the final call, blue or pink. Soon Roy was there and joined the rest as they waited. Russ enquired “How’s Marian?” Roy said “She’s doing great, everything is fine” he said as he gave the impression of a bundle of nerves.
Around 6:00pm Dr. Ninfo had arrived and seemed ready to go to work. He greeted Joe & Rose whom he’d known well. He also delivered two of Rose’s kids Joey and Basil who was 5. “They all greeted the doctor and showed their obvious appreciation that he would stop and say hello to them.
Quiet and nervous excitement filled the waiting room where the expectant father and family members had gathered for a blessed event. Russ asked” Is anybody hungry, should I go get some sandwiches or something”?
As he surveyed the room it looked like no one was speaking up and finally Rose said “I think we’re alright Russ, thank you though”. Joe picked up the Sunday paper and started to read to pass the time. Rose and Carmella continued their small talk about the baby’s room and such.
It was approaching 9:00 and Marian was now in labor as she somehow began to think of the Colgate Comedy hour of all things and her favorites Martin & Lewis who would host tonight’s live broadcast. It was strange she thought that now of all things to be on my mind are Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
As the contractions started to come more closely and harder she screamed “I need some drugs Doctor”. And Dr. Ninfo didn’t disappoint, “Marian, dear, we’re going to give you some anesthesia soon”. She nodded with painful acknowledgment. Holding the mask over Marian’s face the doctor said “I want you to count backwards from twenty”. As Marian started she seemed to go lights out quickly.
Meanwhile, Roy Masceri was told that he would soon be a father he had a flash in his mind the Colgate Comedy hour was underway. He thought that it was odd to be thinking of now as well. Why am I thinking of Lewis and Martin now of all things?
Unknown to Roy, Russell turning to Joe and Rose said “Dad, that crazy Jerry Lewis is on tonight” with a smile. They shared a laugh with Roy’s parents. Russ continued “Jerry’s a lunatic”. Rose injected “That Dean Martin is so handsome and what a voice!” she said. They all thought that it was odd that they had picked up on this topic with all the expectations of the new arrival each smiling but drifting to alternate thoughts of Marian and the new baby and Jerry & Dean.
Marian was now under and when she next awoke a nurse said “You’re gonna’ be a mommy.” As she drifted off her mind again go to the Colgate Comedy hour and the hosts Martin & Lewis.
Martin and Lewis were a great American comedy team, comprising singer Dean Martin as the “straight man” and comedian Jerry Lewis as the comedic “foil”. The pair first met in 1945; their debut as a duo occurred at Atlantic City’s 500 Club on July 24 1946.
Before they teamed up Martin was a nightclub singer, while Lewis did a comedy act in which he lip-synched to records. As a team, they worked in nightclubs, on radio and in television and films. In the team’s later years, it was no longer billed by the two men’s surnames alone, as in their early radio work, but by their full names: “Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.” These separate identities helped them launch successful solo careers after the team’s dissolution.
Suddenly, a annoying voice from behind Marian’s head could be heard, a shrill “ Hey laaady” it went, as the voice repeated and got closer it was him Jerry Lewis with chopsticks in his mouth at the foot of her bed. Doing his shtick, Marian was laughing being completely entertained. To her right was a man “Good evening, ladies and gentleman, I’m Dick Stabile here with my band and my sax”. It was the bandleader for the show thought Marian, it just can’t be can it?
Considered one of the outstanding saxophonists of the big band era, Dick Stabile had his own signature line of musical instruments. He was once featured in ‘’Ripley’s Believe It or Not’’ for being the ‘’only’’ sax player to hit the highest note possible on that instrument.
As the band cued up Dino entered the delivery room with his mike in hand beginning his awesome rendition of “That’s Amore”.
“When the moon hits your eye like a nice pizza pie that’s amore, that’s amore”, he sang in his rich voice. He was so dreamy Marian thought as Dean belted out the tune.
She was reeling as the room seemed to fill with Martin & Lewis, the band and though she couldn’t make out it seemed as if an audience.
She said “What is going on, someone please tell me?”
Marian seemed transformed to another place in her mind. “It’s Martin and Lewis’ official debut at Atlantic City’s 500 Club.”
“I’m the owner, Skinny D’Amato, and I warned them to come up with a better act for their second show or this will be their last night.” She was in a state of both euphoria and disbelief at the sight.
So Lewis and Martin went for broke, throwing out the pre-scripted gags just improvising their way through their act. Dean sang some songs, and Jerry came out dressed as a busboy, dropping plates and more or less making a shambles of Martin’s performance.
They did slapstick, reeled off old vaudeville jokes, and did whatever else popped into their heads at the moment. Marian and the rest of the delivery room staff as the audience were doubled over in laughter. “I can’t believe this, can this really be happening?”
Of course their success at the 500 in fact did lead to a series of well-paying engagements up and down the Eastern seaboard, resulting with a triumphant run at New York’s Copacabana. Club patrons and the guests in Marian’s room were convulsed by the act.
It consisted mostly of Lewis interrupting and heckling Martin while he was trying to sing. Finally the two of them chasing each other around the stage and having as much fun as possible. The secret, they have both said, is that they essentially ignored the audience and played to one another.
Suddenly, in a dark corner of the room the lights came up and a voice said let’s welcome ladies and gentlemen the Modernaires. Marian hearing canned applause now heard the singing group begin to sing “pardon me boys is the Chattanooga choo choo woo woo.” The Modernaires began as a trio of schoolmates from Lafayette High School in Buffalo, New York. The members, Hal Dickinson, Chuck Goldstein, and Bill Conway, were called “Don Juan-Two and Three,” Marian could remember hearing the Modernaires who were featured on the Paul Whiteman radio show. They recorded many of the classic songs of that era. Songs made popular by Glen Miller and The Modernaires included “Perfidia”, “Chattanooga Choo-Choo”, which was being performed now and with Tex Beneke the first-ever “gold record” with over one million copies sold.
“I Know Why”, “Elmer’s Tune”, “Serenade In Blue”, and “Kalamazoo”, with Beneke, among others. “I can’t believe I’m smiling and laughing I should be afraid and screaming”. Somehow Marian felt at peace with all of this and was just gonna lay back and enjoy the show.
Martin and Lewis were the hottest act in America during the early ‘50s, but the pace and the pressure took their toll. Dean usually had the thankless job of the straight man, and his singing had yet to develop into his unique style of his later years.
The critics praised Lewis, and while they admitted that Martin was the best partner he could have, most of them claimed that Lewis was the real talent of the team and could succeed with anyone. It is worth noting that Lewis always praised his partner, and while he appreciated the attention he was getting, he has always said with complete conviction the act would never have worked without Martin. In the book Dean & Me, Lewis calls Martin one of the great comic geniuses of all-time.
Because the show was live, anything could happen, and usually did. Performers would forget their lines or misread the cue cards, or props wouldn’t work as expected. The show might run over, forcing the director to cut some skits. Or it could run short, and the emcees would have to ad-lib.
Suddenly in the blink of an eye they were gone, no Jerry or Dean, no band nor the Modernaires and Marian was back in the delivery room. Dr. Ninfo asked her if he could get her something. Marian said “I would love a cigarette”, and with the good doctor said “One moment, please” and came back a few moments later with an ashtray and two lit cigarettes. He placed the ashtray on her belly and they sat and smoked as Marian explained “I had the craziest dream that I saw Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin and they were here” she said. Dr. Ninfo laughed and explained the affect of anesthesia could be very profoundly strong and actually could cause hallucinations. “ Oh my god then I’m not crazy?”. “No Marian, quite normal. Just a little tipsy from the gas, that’s all. “
Next in came a nurse with a little bundle and Roy with a smile from ear to ear. “Honey, say hello to our new son” Roy started.
Marian began to weep as the baby was placed in her arms and she kissed and snuggled with him. It was a beautiful sight as the new family began to soak in all the promise of the future as mom and dad and of course husband and wife.
The nurse asked “well what’s his name and Roy said “Gregory Roy after my father”. “That’s a nice name and he’s beautiful” said the nurse.
As the doctor and Roy and the nurse were congratulating each other and sharing some time together Marian was drifting away again. Glimpses of crazy Jerry doing his slapstick humor, the great vocals of Dino and how handsome he was up close. The Modernaires who had been with her earlier, It seemed that they still hadn’t left her.
Around midnight Russell brought Joe and Rose came to see their daughter while Roy and his parents waited for them. Everyone was happy and congratulatory toward Marian. Finally, Russ spoke up saying “hey sis, you missed Martin and Lewis tonight”, laughing with the parents knowing that they were her favorites.
When Marian said “No I didn’t, they were here” they all laughed a little harder it was a Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz moment. Knowingly they nodded to one another like she was a little tipsy from the gas. Marian said “You’re right the doctor did say the drugs can make you see things”. They smiled and caressed her hands and face and told her how good she looked.
After all the family had left, Roy and Marian were there with baby Gregory and their hopes and dreams for the future. Marian began “He can be a Doctor or Lawyer, President of the United States. Whatever he wants, he can be, because we’ll love him so much and will encourage him through his life.”
Roy replied “anything he wants to be or do honey, I love you”. They kissed and enjoyed their first moments alone with baby Greg.
When Marian told Roy about her meeting of Martin and Lewis he, too, laughed it off as hallucinations caused from the medication she’d been given, but Marian felt strangely that this wasn’t a dream. “But it must have been she thought it’s impossible that they were here. Of course it was the drugs” she thought. Marian drifted off to sleep. The doctor and nurses were encouraging Roy to let her rest as they had taken the baby back to the nursery. Roy realized everyone needed some rest and left the room.
As the morning of the 11th broke, Marian was awaken and felt rested, still tired and sore but feeling like a new woman. The nurse and her new baby whom she enjoyed in a special way, forming the bond that exists only between a mother and child. As mother and baby began to seek out each other’s scent and touch a younger nurse came to the room and greeting announced her name was Angela. “Good morning “said the nurse “and how are we doing today?” Marian said she was doing terrific when at that moment Roy entered with his top pocket filled with cigars and a big grin across his face. He kissed his wife and quipped “how’s little mother?” What a great job you did.” Marian beamed with his approval and basked in the love they had for their new offspring.
Angela said “so who does the baby look like?” and Marian said “like Roy” and Roy said “oh no not me he’s too beautiful he looks like Marian.” Angela continued saying the baby looked so happy and loved like that new Dean Martin song you know “That’s Amore”.
As the new parents had a little laugh Marian began to think about last night. Then suddenly Angela began “I was watching the Colgate Comedy hour last night. What a great show and how I love Jerry’s antics, but when Dean broke out That’s Amore, oh how I melted.” Marian said “the song was Amore?” And Angela nodded affirmatively and smiled. Marian was shocked and surprised because she had never heard the song before last night and that was a drug induced dream. Angela continued saying “the Glen Miller group, you know, the Modernaires were also on”.
Marian said and they sang “Chattanooga Choo choo”? and Angela snapped her head around now startlingly looking at Marian, saying “yeah they did” sheepishly. Marian and Angela simultaneously said” oh my god”! As Roy said what’s going on? Marian began to describe her evening performance in her medication induced dream she had. As Angela listened she felt like she was watching the exact repeat of last night’s show.
The problem for everyone of course was that one it was a live performance from New York city and second there was no TV in the delivery room. In fact there was no TV anywhere near Marian so how could she describe what happened? Of all things on the Martin & Lewis show last night of all things!
Roy said “There must be some other explanation, obviously Martin & Lewis weren’t here last night”. Angela said “This is giving me the willies, it’s very strange.” Marian just didn’t know what to think as Dean started singing in her head; “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s Amore, when the stars make you drool just like pasta fasool that’s Amore…That’s Amore”.
Marian could hear Jerry’s voice squeaking “hey Dino… Dino…who’s the laaady Dino?.” Everyone just stopped for a few moments and then just pretended at least to one another that nothing had happened. Well maybe Roy and Angela could pretend but not Marian, after all it happened to her she thought. She wondered was she going crazy? Was any of this to be explained rationally, how could it have occurred?
Then Marian thought what a special baby Greg was, a kind of TV show version of baby Jesus on Broadway or the savior of the Colgate Comedy Hour. Surely god himself had sent the Martin & Lewis show to her to entertain the mother of the special child born at 9:30 pm on Sunday night during the Colgate Comedy Hour starring Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
Time would pass and things would change, but Marian would never forget her visit from the famous pair. And as time went on she never said it out loud but did tell her husband and her mother both of whom convinced her never to tell anyone or they would lock her up in the loony bin.
When the famous team broke up a couple of years later Marian felt sad and cried, but that wasn’t too whacky because many people felt sorry as well. When she would watch the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon she would be taken back to then. Whenever the Dean Martin show or one of his tunes played she would be carried back to the delivery room at St Mary’s hospital in her mind.
So Dean and Jerry split up, so did my parents and boy, was I pissed off. I was pissed off at the world. I was mad at myself and blamed myself for their failed marriage. Like many children of divorce either feel and sometimes are made to feel at fault for the failures of their parents.
Why, back in the epochal summer of ‘56, Why did Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis declare it splits Ville? Was it the seven (actually 10) year itch? Professional jealousy? Sibling rivalry? The ascendance of Elvis? Lewis’s memoir Dean & Me doesn’t lack for historical perspective:
“In the age of Truman, Eisenhower, and Joe McCarthy, we freed America,” he begins. “For ten years afterworld War II we were not only the most successful act in history-we were history.”
Among other things, Lewis reveals that both he and Martin had been lonely kids with rejecting parents, crediting their onstage chemistry to an “X factor” defined as “the powerful feeling between us.” Dean, nine years older, was the big brother he never had.
Read Dean & Me to the bitter end and you’ll discover that, so far as Lewis is concerned, they never have. Jerry Lewis and the late Dean Martin barely spoke during the last 10 months of their decade-long partnership, according to an excerpt from Mr. Lewis’ memoir, “Dean & Me (A Love Story),” as published in an edition of Parade magazine.
The longtime friends shocked the showbiz community when they broke up after starring together in movies, radio and nightclubs. Their final show was at the Copacabana Club in New York City on July 24, 1956. Mr. Martin died at 78 on Christmas Day in 1995.
The rub, according to the Octogenarian Mr. Lewis: He wanted to grow as a comedian and actor, while Mr. Martin wanted his own TV show.
“I couldn’t shake the childish hope that, just like a fairy tale, everything would be all better. But I knew that Martin & Lewis’ days were numbered.”
When I was about five and my parents Roy and Marian divorced, my mom told me about her crazy experience on the night I was born. I never saw anything of my father from that time until I became an adult and then only a few times since. I was raised with my mom Marian and grandparents Joe and Rose. My grandparents were the salt of the earth and both whom I often reflect on as my relationship was a special and close one. Mom’s story always seemed weird and unbelievable, but I have to admit that my own admiration for both Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin were always high. I used to love watching Jerry in all of his movies. He would have me close to peeing my pants as I laughed with his insanity.
Then there was Dean Martin who was without a doubt the coolest of cool and what a voice! Even better than Frank Sinatra, Dean was an amazing talent and I loved him on TV, in movies or song he was incredible.
My early childhood was filled my confusion and feelings of abandonment and even yet it was family that brought me back from the brink. My Grandparents, Joe and Rose Sanguedolce, took my mom and I in and from age five to age 12 I was raised and nurtured by them. We lived with my grandparents until my mom remarried. During those years I was lucky to have two mothers and my father was grandpa Joe and I also had my uncle Russ to look up to.
I know everyone will say there is no way this happened, in fact I’m sure with every fiber of my being there is no way that Martin & Lewis visited my mom the night I was born.
However, I want to believe and I’m not sure why but as I get older I want to believe even more. Sometimes, I think that if I close my eyes and think real hard I can believe that mom is with me, that so are my grandparents and yes, that even Jerry and Dean are with me. Maybe you know that if you close your eyes and think real hard you probably have some wild real imaginations of your own. Who knows no one can ever prove these things sometimes it just comes down to faith and as they say keep the faith.
In my state of mind and body I was feeling still as though the quality of my experience was part dream, part real and part 3D. It was a recollection and one that I was remembering. With both the happiness in seeing people that were gone now and the feelings of love and affection as well as feelings of loss that came rushing back to me. Where was I and how do I get back and what the hell is going on here? These questions would have to wait because I was tired and needed to rest, my mind and my body, especially rest my body.
Yet while I did feel that way I also felt fantastic and in total control. Not in control of my body but in the sense of time and space. I was exhilarated by a feeling of freedom to come and go in such rapid flashes.
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Originally Posted by Olly Buckle
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