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.... and I would be really be appreciative of any comments you have on my short story. Positive or negative, I don't mind, plus I like a good laugh if anyone wants to absolutely slaughter it. Anyway I hope you enjoy.
‘I now pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!’ the vicar announced and the couple proceeded to do so. 20 yards away amongst the clapping and cheering, Rob stood with his best friend Harry.
‘What do they need a vicar to tell them to smooch with each other? It’s not like they haven’t done it a million times before, and then some’.
‘Stop being so cynical Rob, it’s depressing’.
Harry said this with a wry smile on his face, fully well knowing that he was winding him up and he couldn’t start ranting and raving in the middle of a wedding. Although, there was an uncertainty with him, a chaotic streak, a spontaneous way of thinking which meant that he could choose now as a first time, though you couldn’t tell as he looked handsome and dashing in the stylish suit he was wearing.
‘Do one’ he replied, at which point, the person behind, turned and enquired what he said.
‘I said well done’ Rob said. The tall slightly balding man gave a dirty look then went back to hooraying the nuptials. He must have thought I was saying something about him, thought Rob.
‘Idiot’ he muttered, and then leaned into Harry. “What’s he earwigging for?”
‘It’s probably because you said it so loud. You need to calm down man. I don’t even know any of these people here; I just work with the groom and met his wife a few times when she’s come with him to one of the office parties. You know him even less than I do so if you want to cause trouble, go for it. But in that case I don’t know you’.
‘Ha-ha, as if it would come to that. I’m not that kind of person’ and he pointed to his face. Harry looked at him with a raise of the eyebrows that motioned he was unconvinced.
The happy couple walked back down the aisle and everyone turned and cheered. They gushed with thank you’s in between smooching with each other. Confetti was thrown and, to harry, it looked like a small explosion of paper fireworks, a cascade of colour that hung and drifted with the wind and fell. Rob on the other hand had turned and the man behind his back was looking down on him, for he was very tall, and was giving him a 1000 yard stare. He stared right back.
‘You got a problem?’ Rob motioned, intent on not letting the man get the upper hand, to make him subservient and back down. The man just stared intently, a silent aggression emanating from him that Rob could sense Harry thought they looked like two goats about to butt heads with each other and decided to intervene. Who was this man? Was he a relative of the married pair? Nevertheless, he must have heard something of Rob’s lewd conversation or else he wouldn’t have been so intent on trying to start trouble. Unless he was using Harry’s idea – provoking Rob and hoping he wouldn’t go off at the wedding like a human time bomb. The only problem with this was that no-one really knew how Rob was wired up – pick the wrong colour and he’ll go off. Even he didn’t know and he had known Rob for close to twenty years.
‘Hey, everyone’s heading over to the marquee, why don’t we head over and get a cool drink?’
‘Sounds like a good idea’ Harry replied slowly but still looking at the man, querying, letting him know that he was going, for now, but he’ll be around if he wanted trouble. They walked off to the Marquee got a drink each and found Josh, the Groom beaming like the sun, a smile that illuminated everything, with his arm wrapped around the slim firm waist of his wife Catherine. Both greeted them with congratulations and many best wishes for the future. She gave her many thanks and then got dragged away by an elderly lady, possibly a member of her family.
‘Glad you could make it boys’ Josh said.
‘What a wonderful place to get married’ replied Harry, ‘must have cost you a fortune!’
‘Well we scrimped and saved for quite a while, because we wanted it perfect. Luckily enough, Catherine’s parents felt precisely the same and chipped in with some cash as well’.
‘Well, the setting, the service and the reception has all been magnificent’ said Harry. He noticed Rob, barely paying attention, almost staring through Josh straight at the man who had been standing behind him earlier. ‘Aren’t we Rob?’ said Harry, whilst digging a short, sharp bony elbow in his side.
‘Erm, yeah. It’s been a privilege to be here’.
‘Are you alright?’
‘I feel like I have seen that guy before’.
‘He was standing behind us earlier’.
‘No, not from then, from another time’ said Rob clarifying his point.
A strange sense of déjà vu came over him. He was sure he had seen him before but could not figure out where from. Josh turned around and saw the guy, but to him also he was a complete mystery.
‘Do you know him?’
‘Strangely enough I don’t. Must be someone Catherine knows. Or should I say my wife knows’. They all raised their drinks and said cheers. With this, his lips turned into the shape of an upside down boomerang. ‘Anyway lads, I better go find her, see you in a bit’. He walked off and someone soon grabbed him for a chat. Harry and Rob went over to the bar and then promptly settled down underneath parasol close to the cliff’s edge.
‘Do you ever think you’ll ever get married one day Rob? You’ve been with Helena for quite a while now. I’m sad she couldn’t make it today, what happed to her?’
‘Her grandmother died in the early morning a couple of days ago, so she’s had to her family home. I offered to go with her, but she told me to stay, she had loads of stuff to sort out and there wouldn’t be any point in me being there, so I should just stay and attend the wedding’.
‘You see – perfect husband material’. Harry laughed.
‘I have thought about it, but I just want to wait for the right time. I’m not even sure what she thinks. I wouldn’t even know how to propose in the first place. Anyway what about you? Have you ever thought of settling down with a lovely young lady? God knows you’ve drunkenly had your way with enough of them. Maybe that’s why, they sobered up and realised you were an ugly girl, with your long hair’. Rob grinned; he could take the banter, just as much as he liked to give it out.
‘I can’t see myself ever doing that. I live to fast, I take too many chances’.
‘What does that mean? Personally I think it’s because you don’t think about the future and you drink like they’re about to bring prohibition back’.
‘Well, just in case they do. What do you want from the bar?’
‘You’ve finished already? Jesus. No, I’m fine thanks, I’m on the hard stuff’. He pointed to his glass of water. ‘See you in a minute’.
Rob got off his plastic chair and took his glass, which had quickly become warm once the icy liquid had been displaced. He threaded his way between the round tables of suits, fancy dresses and wedding decorations and made his way to the bar that was on the other side of the marquee. He leant on the bar with his elbow, in no rush to be served and once the barman asked him, motioned for two beers with his index and middle fingers, like a peace sign. He took the bottle and started making his way back over towards his seat, when the man who had been standing behind him earlier appeared.
‘Excuse me’ motioned Rob, eager to sit down, drink his beer and steer clear of trouble. This was someone’s wedding day he thought, there’s no need for trouble. He went to walk around him, when the man pushed him back.
‘Hey, what’s your problem?’ said Rob, ‘I don’t even know you’.
‘No you don’t, but I know you’. Rob, not wanting to know and neither caring reacted tersely.
‘I have no idea who you are, just leave me alone. I recognise you, not from standing behind me in the service earlier but from elsewhere. Regardless, of that I just want to get back to my friend, relax, enjoy this whole event and go home without having any trouble. Okay?’ At this point, Rob tried to leave again and again the guy pushed him back, more forcefully than before and the sudden jolt made him drop his beers, which made a smashing sound on the floor. Everything in the room went silent apart from the wedding DJ’s record. Hearing everything fall almost silent inclined Harry to look up from the phone he was playing on and see Rob exchanging angry words with the man.
‘So how exactly do you know me? If you would let me know then maybe we can sort out whatever is troubling you’ said Rob.
‘If you don’t remember, then why should I tell you? You don’t remember because you are selfish in your impulsiveness, you don’t care about how others feel and the only reason you do anything is to benefit you. Maybe this will teach you to change your ways’. At this point, the man swung a large right fist to the face of Rob, which sent him sprawling to the floor, knocking some chairs flying and drinks crashing. Pulling himself to his feet, the man leapt on him again, one punch hitting him on the brow and splitting it open like a boxer and then another rammed its way into his stomach, though not winding him. Harry held the man’s arms back in a full nelson, although the guy wriggled greatly. Whilst Harry was holding the man, Rob through a punch that bloodied the man’s nose and sent him into a daze. At this point, Josh came to the fore of the crowd that surrounded them just in time to see Rob land another blow on the nebulous character.
‘What the hell is going on here?’ he demanded, sending everyone quiet and the fight to briefly stop, both men’s suits ripped and faces bleeding. ‘I can’t believe any of you would do this on my special day. On our special day’. He motioned towards his wife who was sobbing into the dress of an elderly woman who had her arm around her. ‘I think you should leave’.
All three men trudged towards the exit. As Harry walked, Josh pulled him back from the shoulder.
‘I expected better of you, I didn’t even think you were that kind of person. I told you to bring a friend or partner to this event, not an animal’.
Harry followed his best friend out and saw Rob walking over to his car.
‘What on earth were you thinking?’
‘I didn’t even want to fight, I tried to avoid it! And before I knew it, he was telling me he was going to teach me something and smacked me right on the tip of my nose and then started hitting me some more. What am I supposed to do, let him pummel me? I don’t think so. If someone starts swinging clenched hands at me, I’m prone to start doing the same’.
He clicked the button and the beep signalled that his car was open. He got in and fell drunkenly over on to the gearstick. He pulled himself back up and messed about with his keys until he found the right one and then slotted it into the ignition.
‘You can’t drive in that state, what on earth are you thinking?’
‘Why? I’m not drunk’.
‘Well, for one – I don’t actually believe that. And two – in that state, the police would pull you over and find something to arrest you for. Give me the keys’.
‘No’
‘Give me them or I’ll take them’.
He reached across slyly and pulled the keys out and then held them far away from Rob, far enough so that he couldn’t grab them back, which he was trying. Eventually realising that this wasn’t going to work, he grudgingly agreed to switch sides. Harry got in the driving seat, fired he ignition and they were off back home. He negotiated the winding roads expertly despite having his drunken accomplice babbling randomly.
‘I could drive better than this’ blurted Rob.
‘You couldn’t, especially not in that state. So do you know yet where you recognise that man from now then?’
‘Oh yeah, I forgot to say. Yeah I do – I used to see his sister a long time ago, but it all went a bit wrong when I cheated on her. He always said he was going to get me one day’.
‘Well by the looks of you, he did a fine job. Your face is a mess.’
‘Whatever’ replied Rob flippantly.
They carried on up round the corner of the road on the jagged rock face and reached a long narrow road. As they careered down it, they were both quite silent. The only sounds were the whirring engine and the ocean waves thundering all their energy into the jutting cliff base. Harry kept his eyes on the road whilst Rob stuck his head out the window like a dog, catching the breeze in his hair. Suddenly, a rabbit jumped out into the road. Its eyes glinted in the sun as it turned its head towards the car. Catching sight of it at the last moment, Harry swerved instinctively to the right causing the backside of the car to swing with the sudden momentum. He slammed on the breaks immediately as he felt the car lurching out of his control but it was no use. The car went through the metal barrier and quickly stopped to a screeching halt. The back of the car teetered over the cliffs edge. It balanced like a seesaw, the back of the car hanging over the edge whilst the two men sat in the front wondering what to do.
‘What do we do?’ screamed Rob, slowly coming out of his drunken stupor, but still trying to catch his breath. ‘Phone Josh, get him to come and help us!’
Harry rummaged through his pockets, anxiously so as not to rock the car back too far.
‘I don’t have it, I must have lost it in the kerfuffle back there.’
‘What were you doing swerving out the way of that thing anyway?’ He didn’t see what it was.
‘I didn’t want to hit it’.
‘What are you on about? I would have just done it.’
‘Well, if we did everything my way we wouldn’t be in this situation now. One day you’ll learn’.
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Originally Posted by Roughin
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