Thread: The Black Rose

Violet watched her friend Natalie take a deep breath for the third time and put her hand on the door knob, she was about to turn it but she abruptly let go.
Violet breathed out a loud sigh, making sure her friend heard her.
Natalie turned her head and glared at her.
“The next step is the first step of the rest of our lives” Natalie said
Unfortunately, Natalie got overly inspired by the valedictorian’s speech at their high school graduation.
“I know, I know you’ve been saying that for the whole summer.” she replied
Natalie turned her whole body around and took a step forward; she reached out and put her hands on Violet’s shoulders.
“Imagine walking into that room everyday for a year, your whole life is going to be in that room. One step away. Aren’t you nervous at all?”
“No” Violet gave her a huge smile and stepped around her, grabbing the knob, turned it, and walked into what Natalie called “the rest of their lives.”
Violet looked around the room, there was two beds on the opposite sides of the wall and two dressers near each bed. Violet had picked a coed room and her roommate had already arrived and was sitting on one of the beds. He wasn’t alone but had two of his friends with him. She didn’t know which one was her roommate.
Natalie walked in behind her and immediately noticed the guys. When the guys noticed Natalie two of them sat straighter. There reaction wasn’t unusual. Natalie was a natural beauty she had long brownish red hair with big hazel eyes which always seemed to bring attention to her. It didn’t help that she was a dancer and was 5 feet 5 inches tall. She was like a fairy princess to everyone except her boyfriend Matt who thought she was more a goddess.
“Hi, I’m Natalie and this is your roommate Violet” she said
The guys seemed disappointed when they realized Natalie wasn’t going to be their roommate.
All the guys nodded and one of them smiled at Natalie. Violet walked over to her bed and set her bags on it and sat down. She took a moment to observe the room while the guys introduced themselves to Natalie.
The room was a little smaller than she expected and was basically empty, she planned to fill it up and make it her home.
Violet looked over at the guys, one them seemed disinterested with—
“Violet” Natalie called her name.
She looked over at her
“Yeah”
“Dance auditions are at 2:00 tomorrow”
Violet hadn’t told Natalie that she wasn’t going to dance anymore.
“Oh, I thought I told you that last year was the last time I was going to dance.” Violet said
She braced herself for the scream that was sure to come next.
“You are not going to dance this year, who will be my partner? How can you give up your skill, your talent? You are too good to give it up.” Natalie said overdramatically
Natalie took a deep breath and violet could tell there was more to come.
“I thought this was going to be our year” she finished
“Natalie you said senior year was going to be our year when I told you I was going to quit during the end of junior year but I stayed with you during senior year but I always planned to quit after high school. I’ll still help you on the dance moves if you want me to.” Violet said
“I always thought you would change your mind, you were the best dancer at PacificSprings even better than Natasha and me.”
“Well I didn’t change my mind and I won’t, I want a fresh start here.”
“You would have a fresh start here, there is more competition, and it won’t be like high school. This is the real deal what we have been waiting for.”
Violet snuck a look at the guys who were staring at them, hoping for a fight even though they weren’t yelling but having an argument. While one of them wasn’t listening to them, he had his earphones in his ears and a smirk on his face.
Violet took extra time observing him, he had dark brown hair that wasn’t long or short and he looked to be tall but she couldn’t tell when he was sitting down but she could tell that he was lean even though he was wearing a long sleeve shirt. She too consumed in her observation that when she looked up she realized he was staring at her. He had grey eyes that she could see form where she was at, they were very bright and it seemed like he could see all of her and understand everything that was surrounding him.
Violet looked away and blushed, she hoped he wasn’t her roommate or she would spend the whole year just blushing around him.
She looked back at Natalie who gave her a small smile knowing exactly what she was thinking.
“Violet it’s getting a little late, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” she knew that Natalie would argue with her more, but not in front of the guys.
Violet got her phone out 10:00 it read, she didn’t realize how late it was.
“Yeah good night”
Two of the guys also stood up to leave.
“Hey we’ll see you tomorrow, Julian”
They quickly got out of the room and she assumed it was to catch up with Natalie.
The room seemed very quite after they left, she stared across her at Julian who was doing a good job on ignoring her.
She needed to remember to check off making her roommate not like her off her to do list.
She stood up and turned towards the bags that were on her bed. She unzipped the bigger one; she knew that was the one she put her clothes and sheets in.
Violet grabbed them and put her bags on the floor so she can make her bed, she could feel Julian’s eyes on her the whole time she made her made her bed, that by the time she finish she was relieved.
She grabbed her book and iPod from her bag and sat on her bed. She put the earphones in her ear and turned n her iPod. The volume was loud, just how she liked it, she opened her book to the page she was on and read.
Violet got so consumed in her book that she didn’t realize Julian was asleep. She checked the time on iPod. 2:50
She immediately got up and went to her big suitcase. It was already unzipped from earlier. She grabbed her black pants, black gloves, and her black shirt.
She quickly undressed and changed her clothes; she put on her black shoes and grabbed her bag that had all her supplies.
She put it around her head and rested it on her shoulder. She quietly snuck out of the room and started out.
Violet got out of her building and headed towards the parking lot. She got to her blue mini cooper and unlocked the door. She got in and turned it on and put her seatbelt on. She drove out of the parking lot and headed to the main road. When she got there she headed towards the National Gallery of Scotland.
It was long drive so turned on the radio. The Only Exception was on by Paramour, she started singing along; she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t have a bad voice but she hated singing in front of people.
Not a lot of cars were on the road but she kept going the speed limit she didn’t want to bring attention to herself. She glanced at the clock in her car. 3:20
Violet had to hurry she sped up only a little, she was close; she turned an exit and slowed down.
She turned left and kept on driving, she was 2 minutes away. She slowed down while passing it and looked around; there was a building very close to it. That was her target. She drove three miles away and parked in a person’s driving way. She locked her car and got out; she started jogging the way she came. She jogged every morning and when she danced she always had a hard workout. Three miles went by fast and she found herself in front of the building. She didn’t want to break into this building; she walked around until she found stairs she quietly went up. She was in luck, the stairs led to the roof.
Violet checked her watch 3:39. She had to get home by 5:00 just in case her roommate woke up early.
She went to the edge of the roof, and faced the museum.
The museum held Picasso’s painting for the month before it was sent back to France. She had to be careful on this one. She assumed someone else would try to steal the painting too, more likely it would be her stalker. He had been in every single museum she tried to steal from. It was like playing cat and mouse and she was the mouse. She had a feeling that if she ever was to be caught it would be his fault.
He found it very amusing to pop up where ever he wanted; he always wore a black mask so she never seen his face. She got her bag out and took hers out too it was big and black it covered he eyes and reached her nose. She wanted to remain anonymous to him, she didn’t hold the upper hand and he didn’t either but she suspect he could.
Once she put on her mask she got our her SpyFinder which could find all hidden cameras from a very far distance and her night vision camera which let her see clearly and from a very far distance. That what she liked the best, gadgets that worked from far places, she never knew how far she was going to be from the target. Violet spent a lot of money on Spy gadgets; she had to always buy from a different name and a different place every time. She knew the cops were looking for her but she knew they didn’t have any leads on her or her mystery guy. She wanted to help catching him but where would be the fun in that. She liked the chase and knowing that she would get her beauties easily.
“Running a little aren’t we” she heard a deep voice say behind her
She gave a small smile and turned around, he always seemed large to her, and he was tall and extremely lean. He must work out every day for hours to get that body she thought. He wore all black just like her and had gloves on and a mask. Someday she knew that they would work together it was inevitable and she suspect he thought the same thing. She felt an attraction to him even though she never seen his face but she knew he would be handsome.
“I was hoping to avoid you” she said
He started to laugh, it was very musical and she felt it wrap around her.
“Sorry to disappoint you”
Violet wasn’t surprised to see him in Scotland, especially because of Picasso.
“Have you been in their yet?” she asked
“No, I’ll see you when I do though” she suspected he liked seeing her.
“Enjoy seeing me take the Guernica” She said
The Guernica was one of Picasso famous art, it symbolized war. How ironic, but that was one of the reasons she wanted it and of course the worth of it would make someone very rich.
“We will see about that” he walked closer to where she was standing.
“How come you are in Scotland, Bella Rosa” He asked
He always called her Rose in different languages, somehow she found it very romantic but she knew she cannot fall for this guy.
“For the art of course” She said looking up to his eyes. They were so bright in the darkness; he seemed to be looking at her soul. There were moments when he looked at her that she felt he knew her but she knew that wasn’t possible.
He leaned his head down and whispered in her ear.
“Liar”
Violet turned her head toward him in surprise and he took the opportunity to kiss her.

Parting her lips in surprise, she couldn’t help but yield to his kiss but some part of her mind was hesitant to deepen the kiss. Violet felt his hands run through her hair, when he pulled away it took a moment to bring herself back to reality and realize who she was kissing. When she did she took a step back and to make it seem that she didn’t like his kiss, Violet wiped her hand across her mouth in disgust.
When he saw her action he started to laugh, she chose to ignore that and make herself aware of her surroundings.
She glanced down at her watch-5:30
Oh no, Oh no she had to get home fast.
“I’m leaving” Violet went and put her stuff back in her bag and left with looking to see if he was looking at her.
Violet went down the stairs and jogged to her car, she ran harder; she should have realized that she needed to leave earlier.
The sun was already going up and the sky was beginning to turn the dark blue that lit the world, if it was any other time she would have admired the view, the sky seemed to be born again right before her eyes.

Very nice story. These are two things I noted.

This may be a stupid comment if this is not the beginning of the story, but Julian could be introduced ealier. I am still not sure why Julian doesn't like her just because of a fight between Natalie and Violet. Maybe that could be cleared up.

Also, the conflict seemed muted in the argument between Natalie and Violet. I don't believe the argument because its too short and too simple. If it were mine to write I would lengthen the argument firstly, but also bring in some other ideas. Maybe there is a deeper reason why Natalie is upset? I could see the beginnings of some abandonment feelings from Natalie. This is an opportunity for you to beef up your characters. Regardless of where you want to go with it, the argument certainly wouldn't end that quickly with a "it's late". Not after a Natalie dropped such a bombshell on Violet, especially this close to when she needs a dance partner. It's not realistic, at least in my mind, and that makes it difficult to follow.

I did like Natalie catching the guys eye in the middle of it all. It is a neat image to see her focusing on him in the middle of a conflict.

This is awesome. You should totally keep going with this.

One thing though, at the very end, when you say the guy has grey eyes, you make it pretty obvious who he is.

Hey thanks
I'll try to make it less obvious