Thread: Muse

Saerahfina entered the palace, she stopped and looked around. Everyone grew quiet, and looked her way. She glided her way to Queen Serenity.
She bent her head down, curtsied, and stood up. Her eyes were drawn to the prince, who was staring at her with disgust.

“Making a statement, Saerahfina” the Queen said
She immediately understood the queen was talking about her dress which was black.
Every Muse wore bright colors but never black. They associated the color black with darkness, death, and evil.

“Oh, are you talking about my dress, and there I thought it was very pretty.”

“Saerahfina you’ve been very bad lately, what happened since the last time we spoke?”
She involuntarily looked at the prince, and quickly looked back at the queen.

“I saw the meaning of the life as a Muse.”

“What was the meaning, Saerahfina?”

She raised her voice so her answer would be heard throughout the room.

“We spread love and joy so much that we will never get any of our own.”

To her surprise Queen Serenity started laughing.

“How do you explain my love with King Ainmire” she said she reached out her hand and King Ainmire who was sitting right next to her held her hand. Everyone can feel the love they still had for each other. King Ainmire was a tall man with dark hair, his eyes were Midnight blue and legend says that anyone at the other end of his sword would die instantly. He was a silent man but a great leader, he usually let his wife have her way with leading the people but everyone knew he was their silent protector.

“Do you find it strange that out of all the Muses that you are the only one that found love?”

“No, everyone experiences love, Saerahfina, just in their own time. It took me awhile to find love, I even almost gave up on love when King Ainmire was about to marry someone else.” The queen said. The King squeezed his wife hand silently telling her that he loved her.

“What if you don’t ever get that love?” she said quietly

“You will” the Queen said confidently

“Saerahfina, we need to hold you responsible for what you have committed. You are banished from Erihara, until we feel that you are suitable to be a Muse once again.”

Saerahfina wanted to laugh, the worst they can do is banishing her.

“I’ll enjoy my vacation” she said with a smile

Queen Serenity gave a smile

“ The Prince will be your guardian, he will stay with you all the time, starting from the moment you enter Illyrius.” Queen serenity said

Saerahfina snuck a look at the prince to see his reaction. His face was grim and she realized he didn’t want to watch over her, he didn’t even want to see her.

She looked back over at the Queen who was waiting for her response.

She gave the queen a serene smile and curtsied, she turned around to find everyone still staring at her, some in disgust, others in resentment, fear, or awe.

Saerahfina walked to the rainbow glass double, the colors were everywhere, sunlight always seemed to be reflecting through them and into the room. The doors always opened by magic, legend say that once you pass the doors you would become closer to your soul mate.

Outside in Erihara was filled with flowers everywhere; the sun always seemed to be shining down on all the Muses. It was what humans would call Utopia but if they looked closely they would soon realize that most Muses didn’t have a mate only few.

Muses told themselves that because they lived forever that finding a soul mate didn’t happen quickly but when they were ready. Saerahfina knew that even if they were ready, sometimes your soul mate didn’t want you.

Saerahfina headed towards Illyrius, she would walk halfway there then she would call Ashiteri, her backahasten pet so she could relax while he took her there. She felt a chill that snuck up her spine, to her shoulder, and down her arms.

She knew who was following her without having to look behind her. Saerahfina kept on walking pretending that she didn’t know her was there. She wondered how long he would follow her, as she walked Saerahfina felt herself get weaker, she was only have way to Illyrius.

She started humming; calling Ashiteri, Saerahfina looked up at the sky wondering what was taking Ashiteri to get to her. The prince must have blocked out her call.

She turned around abruptly in anger, which was what love did to a person; make them angry.

“I am aware that you have been following me, Valeen”

He was farther then she expected and walked towards her.

“Is this how you are going to watch me over me?” She asked

“No, I was just wondering of you were going straight to Illyrius.”

“Of course, there are many people in Illyrius I’ve been meaning to visit.” Saerahfina said sweetly

“This isn’t supposed to be a vacation for you, you are supposed to spread love and inspire people but instead you chose to inspire evil. Fortunately we fixed what you did. In Illyrius you are suppose to ponder about what you did and come to the conclusion not to do it anymore.” He said frustratingly

“What if I don’t come to that conclusion?”

“Saerahfina, don’t make this difficult”

Definitely a compelling bit. You do a good job packing a lot of stuff into a few words. Is this planned as an intro to something? I got that sense. Dropping the reader in at what isn't really the beginning (whatever Saerahfina did, whatever her experiences were to make her so sour on being a "Muse", supposedly comes first in a linear telling) was a nice touch - immediately, my mind went to work trying to put together the whole story.

Oh, there are a few little wording and punctuation issues (example: "which were rainbow glass double doors that were huge"), but nothing serious. I rather liked it all together.

One major thing I was confused about - what did Saerahfina do that was causing her to be banished? Nothing she did in this narration was taken as offense by the royalty involved, and the Queen mentions that she's been "bad". Why, then, are the authority figures not upset with her (they rather seem mildly amused)?

she turned around to find everyone still staring at her, some in disgust, resentment, fear, and awe.

That reads that those showing emotion were showing all three and others were showing none of them, maybe, "some in disgust, others in resentment fear or awe"