Thread: The Outcaste (first short story here!)

The*Outcaste:*Prologue*1*of*2

I*was*in*geography*class,*and*as*usual,*I*was*tryi ng*to*fend*off*the*daydreams*that*my*imagination*c hurned*out*so*readily.*An*hour*long*lesson*on*the* formation*of*sedimentary*rocks*had*eroded*my*atten tion*span,*and*I*wanted*nothing*more*than*to*rest* my*head*on*my*desk,*close*my*eyes,*and*return*to*m y*own*little*world.*It*was*supposed*to*be*just*ano ther*one*of*those*days*that*was*undistinguishable* from*all*the*others,*just*another*excercise*in*lif e's*redundancy.*Supposed*to*be.*As*the*teacher*shi fted*topics*to*the*formation*of*igneous*rocks,*the *loudspeaker*embeddeded*in*the*front*wall*crackled *to*life,*and*a*voice--*that*of*a*secretary--*called*me*down*to*the*office.*She*mentioned*it*be ing*an*emergency,*and*the*class'*silence*bubbled*o ver*into*a*kind*of*curious*murmur.*

As*I*made*my*way*down*to*the*school's*administrati ve*office,*I*wondered*what*I*had*been*called*down* for.*I*reviewed*mentally*everything*I*had*done*and *seen*that*morning,*trying*to*identify*anything*th at*could*have*required*a*visit*to*the*administrati on.*When*I*was*sure*that*I*hadn't*done*anything*to *warrant*the*suspension*that*usually*accompanied*a *trip*to*the*office,*I*wondered*if*something*had*h appened*to*mother*or*father.*They*didn't*just*call *a*kid*down*for*no*good*reason,*and*the*secretary* had*mentioned*it*being*an*emergency.**

Daydreams*that*had*been*only*benign*distractions*m orphed*into*a*host*of*terrifying*possibilities*ris ing*and*dying*in*my*head.

Finally,*I*found*myself*in*front*of*the*office.*I* knocked*on*the*door.*Once.*The*pauses*between*my*k nocks*were*occupied*by*the*sound*of*my*own*heavy*b reaths.*Twice.*

The*door*opened,*and*I*saw*my*grandmother*in*a*sea t.*She*practically*leapt*out*of*her*chair;*crying* and*sniffling*and*sobbing,*she*caught*me*in*an*awk ward*embrace.*

"Your*mother,"*she*started,*"she's*in*the*hospital ."

I*released*myself*from*her*arms,*and*I*felt*my*eye s*water.*The*room*disintegrated*into*a*swirl*of*wa rm*rancid*blurs.*

"How?"*I*asked.

"Car*crash."

I*grabbed*her*by*the*wrist*and*led*her*out*of*the* office,*away*from*the*intruding*eyes*of*the*school 's*administration.

"Take*me*to*her,"*I*told*grandma,*scanning*the*par king*lot*for*her*boxy*grey*car.*

"Your*father.."*Grandma*whispered.*

"What*about*him?"*I*asked.*

"He*won't*let*you*see*her,"*she*said.*

"What?"*I*asked.*

"He*won't*let*us*see*her,"*grandma*repeated,*then* looked*at*me.*"Although*that*won't*stop*you,*will* it?"**

I*shook*my*head.

My*parents*had*seperated*when*I*was*ten*years*old. *I*don't*remember*much,*or*rather,*I*try*not*to*al low*those*memories*to*surface*very*often,*preferri ng*them*as*bitter*things*remaining*just*beyond*the *periphery*of*my*mind's*eye.

My*father*had*won*the*legal*battle*over*my*custody ,*although*I*believed*and*still*believe*that*he*di d*this*not*because*he*cared*about*me*or*because*he *thought*he*would*be*a*better*parent.*He*did*it*to *spite*my*mother.*He*had*wrestled*me*from*her*arms *just*to*watch*her*face*scrunch*up*and*her*eyes*we ll*up*with*tears*when*the*judge*made*his*decision. *"Full*custody*to*Mokuzumo*Fukazuka,"*the*judge*ha d*said.

In*the*three*years*after*he*had*gained*custody*of* me,*he*cut*off*all*venues*of*communication*with*my *mother*as*he*tried*to*twist*and*distort*my*views* of*who*she*was.*It*had*never*worked*though.*

I*hadn't*seen*her*in*well*over*a*year.*I*hoped*tha t*my*father*would*set*aside*his*selfish*disdain*fo r*my*mother,*and*just*let*me*see*her.*

We*rushed*to*the*hospital's*front*desk.*"Kim*Nazuk i,"*I*said.**The*receptionist*read*something*off*h er*computer*screen.*"Second*floor,*room*one-twenty-five,"*she*responded.*

We*got*to*the*elevator.*I*was*nauseous*at*that*poi nt.*I*felt*as*if*my*head*had*become*light*enough*t o*float*off,*and*that**it*would*have*done*just*tha t*if*it*weren't*for*the*anxiety*that*anchored*it*t o*my*shoulders.

We*got*in.*I*must*have*tapped*my*foot*fifty*times* in*the*few*seconds*it*took*the*elevator*to*rise*to *the*second*floor.

As*we*navigated*the*sterile*fluorescent*hallways*l ined*with*IVs*and*equipment*and*hospital*beds,*I*f elt*as*if*someone*was*pressing*down*on*my*forehead .*At*first*it*was*faint,*but*before*I*had*time*to* wonder*what*it*was,*the*feeling*had*swollen*to*an* Ache,*although*I*didn't*discover*that*until*later. *

"Father!"*I*spotted*him.*"Izuna!"*he*moved*to*bloc k*the*door*to*the*room*where,*through*a*dimly*lit* window,*I*could*see*my*mother;*tubes*and*wires*jut ting*out*of*her,*her*face*obscured*by*bandages.*

"What*are*you*doing*here?"*Father*asked.*He*pointe d*at*grandma*accusingly.*"You*brought*him*here?**

"I*asked*her*to*bring*me*here,"*I*told*him*as*I*wa lked*towards*the*room.*He*brought*his*hand*over*th e*door*handle.*

"Why*won't*you*let*me*see*her?"*I*asked.*

"She*doesn't*deserve*your*attention,*Izuna,"*he*sa id.*
"What?"*I*asked.*

"She*abandoned*you,*she*couldn't*shoulder*the*resp onsibilities*of*taking*care*a*child*like*you,"*he* told*me.*

"Lies,"*I*said,*backing*away.*

A*doctor*emerged*from*the*room.

"How*is*my*daughter?"*Grandma*asked.*

The*doctor*dodged*her*gaze.*"The*prognosis*is*not* good,"*the*doctor*said,*"most*of*her*ribs*are*shat tered,*and*three*of*them*have*actually*puntured*he r*right*lung.*Her*trachea*is*collapsed,*and*she*is *having*extreme*difficulties*breathing..."*

"So?"*I*asked*him.*

"There's*a*good*chance*she*might*not*live*through* this,"*the*doctor*answered.*

"Can't*you*do*some*surgery*to*fix*this?"*My*grandm a*pleaded.

"I'm*afraid*that*her*condition*could*worsen*if*we* even*attempt*operating.*She*would*very*likely*go*i nto*shock,"*the*doctor*said.

"So*you're*just*going*to*let*her*die*like*this?"*I *asked*him.*

"I'm*afraid*our*options*are*extremely*restricted.* Keep*in*mind*that*even*the*preliminary*stages*of*s urgery*would*result*in*great*physical*pain*for*her *while*she*is*in*this*condition,"*the*doctor*expla ined.*

I*sighed,*and*the*doctor*took*the*chance*to*shuffl e*away.*

"Why*won't*you*let*me*see*her?"*I*asked*father .
*
"She*abandoned*you,"*my*father*said.*

"No*she*didn't,"*I*started.*

"Youre*attracting*attention,"*father*told*me.*

I*looked*around.*Patients,*nurses,*doctors,*and*se curity*were*beginning*to*glance*at*us.*"Good,"*I*s aid,*"I*want*everyone*to*know*what*a*bastard*you*a re."*

"You*little*brat,"*he*said,*lunging*at*me,*fist*he ld*out*in*front*of*him.*I*ducked*and*called*out*to *grandma,*who*slipped*into*the*room*where*my*mothe r*was*and*locked*the*door*behind*her.

"Open*the*door*you*old*witch,"*father*barked.*Secu rity*crept*closer.*

I*heard*a*small*succession*of*blips*and*beeps*comi ng*from*the*machines*that*towered*over*my*mother's *hospital*bed.*

"Doctor!"*My*grandma*screamed.*

My*mother*died*that*day,*her*final*moments*defined *by*anguish.*Father*would*not*allow*us*to*hold*her *hands*in*ours,*to*speak*the*last*words*she*would* ever*hear.*He*would*not*even*allow*us*to*see*her*a s*life's*last*embers*departed*from*her*eyes,*which *my*grandma*had*once*said*flared*with*the*flames*o f*life's*passions.*She*died*alone.

As*I*mentioned*earlier,*on*the*way*to*my*mother's* room,*I*had*developed*the*first*symptom*of*a*condi tion*known*to*all*of*Ame*as*the*Ache.**

The*Ache*is*just*a*colloquial*term*for*something*c alled*Uchiwa's*Disorder.*It's*first*symptom*is*a*h eadache*that*never*goes*away.

In*Ame,*We*are*taught*from*a*young*age*to*look*upo n*difference*with*suspicion*and*hatred,*and*we*are *taught*that*anything*that*strays*even*remotely*fr om*a*rigid*set*of*norms*is*dangerous*and*must*be*e liminated.*"Those*who*are*different*are*an*afront* to*the*values*of*the*great*Republic*of*Ame,"*we*re cite*every*morning*before*class.*

And*the*Ache*is*the*most*dangerous*difference*of*a ll,*we*are*told.*The*government*insists*that*the*A che*is*the*root*of*every*mental*problem,*the*litte *voice*that*resides*in*the*head*of*every*rapist*an d*murderer*and*criminal.*We*are*also*told*that*the *Ache*is*detrimental*to*the*health*of*those*around *the*Acher.*If*someone*even*suspects*that*a*friend ,*coworker,*or*relative*suffers*from*the*Ache,*the y*are*encouraged*to*turn*him*or*her*into*the*autho rities.*Noone*is*sure*as*to*what*happens*to*the*Ac hers*after*that.

For*the*first*three*years*I*possessed*the*Ache,*I* remained*in*ignorance*about*it's*true*nature.*But* I*saw*society's*intolerance*towards*Achers,*and*I* knew*that*it*had*to*be*concealed*it*from*everyone. **

Considering*that*the*Ache's*only*physical*manifest ation*was*a*constant*but*mild*headache,*my*physica l*discomfort*was*easy*to*hide.

But*the*Ache*was*something*more*than*just*a*perman ent*migraine,*as*I*learned*when*I*was*sixteen*year s*old.*There*was*a*reason*why*the*state*had*practi cally*dedicated*itself*to*the*elimination*of*indiv iduals*with*the*Ache.

I*had*skipped*class*that*day,*as*I*often*did,*to*w ander*around*the*city.*There*was*something*strange ly*tranquil*about*being*completely*alone,*having*o nly*my*own*whims*to*guide*me*through*Ame's*winding *streets.

But*that*day,*I*wasn't*alone.*

Her*name*was*Linh.*Like*myself,*she*was*also*somew hat*of*an*outcast.*Her*quiet*nature,*coupled*with* her*unusual*eyes--*her*pupils*were*dark*pools*of*lavender--*ensured*that*she*recieved*her*share*of*scorn.*I*m et*her*in*the*eighth*grade,*and*over*the*course*of *those*three*years,*she*became*the*closest*thing*I *had*to*a*friend.*

We*could*walk*around*for*hours,*saying*nothing,*ju st*appreciating*each*other's*company.*Everything*w e*needed*to*know*about*each*other*lay*in*that*sile nce*that*wasn't*really*silence*at*all.*We*had*an*u nspoken*dialogue*and*that,*I*figured,*was*special. *I*mean,*it*had*to*be,*because*I've*been*chasing*i t,*still,*for*all*these*years.

And*that's*not*to*say*we*conducted*our*whole*relat ionship*in*mute.*We*talked.*A*lot.*Her*words*were* charged*with*a*kind*of*optimism*that*was*unusual,* especially*considering*the*things*that*life*had*su bjected*her*to.*Meanwhile,*I*was*a*sullen*kid,*aff licted*with*a*kind*of*existential*spite,*and*findi ng*every*reason*to*hate*my*own*existence.*She*kind *of*saved*me*from*that.*As*I*I*had*scrawled*on*a*d esk*one*time,*she*was*the*ray*of*sunshine*that*dar ed*to*peek*down*from*above*a*veil*of*storm*clouds. *Even*though*she*had*seen*her*share*of*death*and*o f*loss,*she*refused*to*let*her*optimism*waver*in*t he*face*of*such*a*reality.*She*lived*for*the*hope* that*one*day,*life*would*pay*her*back*for*all*her* suffering*in*happiness*and*joy.*She*was*a*constant *reminder*of*the*enduring*nature*of*hope.*She*had* faith*in*life,*in*herself,*and*she*made*me*want*to *have*faith*in*myself.

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Here,*it's*normally*rainy,*but*that*day*was*one*of *the*rare*instances*when*the*sun*would*hang*high,* unobscured*by*the*teary*grey*clouds*that*normally* populated*Ame's*skies.*As*pale*pink*apple*blossoms *danced*around*us*in*swirls,*I*felt*content*for*th e*first*time*in*a*while,*and*I*remember*hoping*tha t*Linh*felt*as*infinite*as*in*that*moment*as*I*did .*

I*had*wished*the*sidewalk*we*were*walking*on*would *stretch*out*forever,*or*at*least*that*the*rest*of *the*day*would*turn*out*as*perfectly*as*those*few* minutes.*But*of*course,*life*didn't*work*that*way* for*people*like*us.

As*we*turned*the*corner,*I*heard*an*explosion.*I*l ooked*behind*me.*One*of*the*apartment*complexes*th at*bordered*the*street*had*been*reduced*to*a*smold ering*pile*of*rubble*and*ash.*Smoke*rose*in*thick* inpenetrable*columns,*smothering*the*suns*rays*in* soot*and*debris.

People*came*rushing*out*of*their*homes,*pouring*in to*the*main*street*in*a*frenzy.*The*air*was*thick* with*fear*and*with*the*smoke*that*was*quickly*engu lfing*the*street,*shrouding*everything*in*a*cloud* of*black.

Suddenly,*a*group*of*men*wielding*guns*and*wearing *black*uniforms*emerged*from*a*few*cars,*and*began *firing*indiscriminately*at*the*people*trying*to*e scape*the*chaos*that*was*unfolding*behind*us.*

Another*explosion.

"Let's*go!"*Linh*grabbed*me*by*the*wrist*and*we*ra n.

A*gunman*broke*away*from*the*others,*who*were*clus tered*in*the*centre*of*the*intersection,*and*start ed*pacing*towards*us.*"Stop."

He*came*closer*and*closer.*Sliding*his*index*finge r*over*the*trigger,*he*squeezed.*I*heard*a*piercin g*crackle.*He*had*fired*s*bullet*that*had*grazed*m y*right*arm.

That's*when*it*started.

A*tingling*sensation*sprang*up*from*somewhere*deep *inside*of*my*abdomen*and*shot*up*to*my*head.

As*soon*as*that*tingle*reached*my*head,*I*started* to*feel*as*if*I*was*drifting*away*from*myself.*I*w as*there*physically,*but*I*felt*as*if*something*el se*had*usurped*my*conscience*in*directing*my*actio ns.*Something*primal,*something*instinctual*had*ta ken*over.*I*wasn't*there*anymore.*I*wasn't*in*cont rol.

"Izuna!"*Linh*shook*my*arm*violently.*"We*have*to* get*out*of*here."

The*part*of*me*that*had*been*torn*from*my*body*was *watching*reality*play*out*before*it*actually*happ ened.*It*was*as*if*what*was*happening*was*mimickin g*what*I*was*seeing*in*my*mind.*In*my*head,*I*had* heard*the*guard*whisper*something.*"You."*Seconds* later,*I*heard*that*same*"you",*muffled*and*distor ted.

I*closed*my*eyes,*and*I*saw*the*guards,*unmoving,* while*lumbering*throngs*of*people*were*trying*so*d esperately*to*escape*the*madness*in*the*background .*

I*looked*around.*The*gunmen,*they*weren't*moving.* With*their*black*clothing*and*masks,*it*was*almost *as*if*they*were*shadows*frozen*in*place,*sufferin g*the*same*disconnect*as*I.*

"Izuna,*please!"*Linh*pleaded*with*me,*tears*strea ming*down*her*face.*She*tugged*my*arm,*but*all*I*c ould*do*was*fall*to*my*knees.*And*even*then,*she*t ried*to*pull*me*out*of*my*kneel.

"No."*It*was*my*voice,*but*I*hadn't*said*it.*

Another*explosion.*She*looked*back.*The*black*smok e*had*spilled*into*the*intersection*and*was*creepi ng*ever*nearer.*She*looked*back*at*me.*"I'm*sorry, *Izuna."

She*ran*past*the*gunmen*and*into*a*crowd,*emerging *at*it's*head.*I*could*have*sworn*that*she*turned* back*then,*for*the*briefest*of*moments,*to*give*me *one*final*glance,*before*losing*herself*again*whe n*the*hordes*of*fleeing*people*began*merging,*and* fragmenting,*and*colliding.

"Linh,*don't*leave!"*I*screamed,*but*no*words*esca ped*my*lips.*Nothing.

I*tried*moving*my*feet,*but*they*too*were*unrespon sive.

The*feeling*that*my*mind*and*my*body*were*no*longe r*tied*together*by*a*physical*self*persisted*for*a *few*more*seconds.*Then*I*realized*that*my*conscie nce*had*forced*it's*way*back*into*my*body*and*that *I*had*regained*control.

I*blacked*out.

I*awoke*hours*later*in*the*hospital,*my*father*at* my*bedside.

"How*dare*you.."*He*hissed.*"You're*one*of*them..* an*Acher."

A*million*questions*were*swimming*around*in*my*min d*at*that*point.*How*did*he*know?

"Those*police*officers*told*me*everything."

I*knew*it.*It*had*been*the*Ache.*The*Ache*had*allo wed*me*to*paralyze*those*gunmen.*But*it*had*also*t aken*my*consciousness*from*the*body*whose*actions* it*governed.

That*was*why*the*state*had*committed*so*much*money ,*so*many*lives*and*resources*to*their*efforts*to* suppress*Achers.

We*were*dangerous.*

It*turned*out*that*those*explosions*had*been*the*r esult*of*police*action*against*an*'Acher*militia'* group*who*had*apparently*planned*to*overthrow*the* Ame*state.*The*police*said*the*buildings*that*had* exploded*were*safehouses*for*the*'Acher*militia',* and*that*the*magnitude*of*the*explosions*could*be* attributed*to*the*fact*that*there*were*bombs*in*th em.*These*bombs*had*supposedly*been*prepared*for*u se*on*the*Ame*public.

The*gunmen*had*apparently*been*part*of*the*'Acher* militia'*who*had*began*firing*into*the*crowds*in*d esperation,*a*last*ditch*attempt*to*inflict*death* and*suffering*on*the*society*that*they*hated*so*mu ch.*
*
A*few*days*after*the*incident*after*I*was*discharg ed*from*the*hospital,*I*was*sent*to*the*sanitarium *in*Hokada*Prefecture.

I couldn't even get past the first paragraph... And I like to read.

I like crazy... this fails.


Without punctuation, people like me are free to run around wearing peoples heads as hats. No one wants that.

2788 asteriks if anyone was curious. I recommend pasting story into word and find replacing them all with spaces. Anyway, the first part of the story was interesting, but you really lost me after:

"As I mentioned earlier, on theway to my mother's room, I had developedthe first symptom of a condi tion known to all of Ame as the Ache. "

The transition here was too hard for me to make. I had this whole idea in my head of the situation and I suddenly find out that we are in another world. I would have used the call to the office as an excuse to introduce the differneces between the worlds. Also, (and please forgive me but I didn't read much past the aforementioned sentence) I would have introduced the prejudice against the MC ealier when he was in the class room.

Just how I would do it. Like I said, you had me interested at the beginning, minus the asteriks of course.

What's the thinking behind the asterisks?