Crimson Threnody

"Wahe up Maddy! It's Cwissmiss!"

Emmy squealed in delight and pushed me as I crawled from beneath my blankets much too slow for her taste. We ran to Mommy and Daddy's room, jumping and giggling on top of them.

"Silly girl!" Daddy grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder.

He didn't pick Emmy up too, but she didn't seem to mind. She just ran ahead of us.
When we reached the tree, Emmy was waiting for us.

Daddy handed me all my presents while Mommy made coffee. I was puzzled when he didn't give any to Emmy.

"What about Emmy, Daddy? Doesn't she get presents too?"

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Necromortis

Are you planning on continuing this, or is it a flash fiction type deal?

Either way, I enjoyed it. Nothing jumped out at me to jar me out of reading it (however short it may be).

I assume Maddy is schizophrenic?

~Christian

lin

Schizophrenic??????????? What would make you think that?

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Girl in Story

That's interesting. So short, but it still has me hooked. The only thing I saw that could be improved is the line "I slowly crawled from beneath my blankets excitedly." Using two adverbs like that sounds a little awkward to me.

Necromortis

I assumed that because her parents paid absolutely no attention to Emmy, they couldn't see her. I could of course be wrong, but that's the sense that I got.

~Christian

Crimson Threnody

Perhaps she is schizophrenic, perhaps she is psychic, perhaps simply a child's imaginary friend...

You never know ^.~
Doh! You are right, and I didn't even catch it. Two adverbs in one sentence and so close together ~shudder~

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