Results 1 to 7 of 7
Like Tree3Likes
  • 1 Post By gerkintrigg
  • 1 Post By Outiboros
  • 1 Post By Druidus-Logos

Thread: The Wary Wolf

  1. #1
    Writer
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    39

    The Wary Wolf

    Jonathan Tiles passed through the deserted park on the way home from the pub, late one evening. His guts moaned with acidic resignation as his stomach swam on the edge of a vomity drunkenness that threatened to steady his steps with a vinegar flow.

    The moon was full in the blue sky, so the phone shining a bright, blue light off the wet grass, was unnecessary. He forgot that he should have been inside. The full moon had been predicted by the app on his iPhone. It had even howled at him this morning to warn him to beware of werewolf attacks - a joke that he found more ironic than funny. He was not worried about being attacked. Instead, he visited the local pub to consume as much numbing liquor as he could before he, himself, changed.

    Now that the insubstantial clouds moved out of the way of the wide, bright orb in the sky, he looked at it. It did not need to be in focus in order for the change to happen. There was nothing he could do; nothing he could ever do. The pain in his ribs stabbed hard and he doubled in agony, grasping his chest and howling loudly. His jaw cracked and stretched and his snout slathered and grew long, angry fangs. Not tonight, not tonight!

    He remembered as the hair grew on the backs of his hands everything that tonight was to be, meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time... But there could be no question of that now, surely. The hair pushed painfully thick fur through the eyelets of his shoes which ripped and tore the leather away from the rubber soles. He remembered why he had tried to numb the pain. Being drunk was helping a little, but when his bones stretched, he felt every inch and they all hurt. He was now free from human thought, free to be an animal. The alcohol running through his veins made him dumb and slow and he staggered home on all four limbs to his beige house that sat (mercifully) alone at the bottom of the hill. He fumbled for his keys. His doggy eyes finding it hard to distinguish the colour coded key fob that he used to mark the different keys for the door.

    There was noise from inside. He fell against the door and banged his head on the wood. There was a moments silence as the world span and Jonathon gripped the floor with each matted paw, trying to stay upright. The door creaked and a sliver of yellow light cracked the porch in two as the door opened with a sigh. Standing in the swaying doorway was Sarah, Jonathan's girlfriend. She was there already! What was he to do now? Her face twisted an ugly expression as she took in the horrifying scene of her boyfriend on the door step. She screamed and yelled, and reached for something to hit him with.

    "Your drunk!" she shouted and slammed the door.
    Last edited by gerkintrigg; 02-26-2012 at 08:03 AM.
    tputnik likes this.

  2. #2
    Apprentice
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    11
    To be honest your story left me feeling confused. Did he change at the end? Was it all in his head? If he did change does sh know about him? I think if fleshed out this story could be quite good.

  3. #3
    Writer
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    39
    No, the point is that all the girlfriend sees is that he's drunk... not that he's a werewolf. It's an exploration of the differences between Male and Female perception.

    I thought it was funny. Thank you for removing this delusion from my ego. )

  4. #4
    Scribe Outiboros's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    87
    If you want to make it more clear, you could always consider a few lines form the girlfriends viewpoint. I myself was confused a bit too, and was wondering whether he never changed or if he did and his girlfriend was totally cool with it.
    I understand it's hard to do a proper viewpoint change in such a short story, but you could always try.
    tputnik likes this.

  5. #5
    Writer
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    39
    Yeah I can give it a go. Thanks for the advice.

  6. #6
    Apprentice
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    20
    I agree with the other posters, a little confusing. But it's got promise.
    tputnik likes this.

  7. #7
    Apprentice
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    12
    I understand what you where going for here. If it where fleshed out a little more I think people would be able to better understand the situation in the story and wouldn't be so confused. None the less, it's written well... though I'm not one for modern day tech. in a "Werewolf" story but that's just personal taste on my part... Always been more of a Wolfman type Werewolf story person.
    Last edited by tputnik; 03-10-2012 at 07:11 PM. Reason: typos

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •