Okay, so I wrote this short piece in order to gain to critiques. I'm not looking to continue this plot currently, but may well do so in the future. I'm basically looking for critiques about the writing style, the scene setting and character core. I'm just wondering what you all think. I was trying to steer away from purple prose and over-descriptiveness. Any way, thanks in advance to any body who took the time to read; if you took the time to reply, I appreciate it more than you know.
It was kind of rushed, so I apologize for any nuances in the script.
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A sea of unforgiving night swept across Zarmara. Cracks of thunder exploded across the sky, illuminating
the barren, frosted terrain. Felsway, a gigantic mountain overlooking Zarmara, posed as the grand centrepiece. Tu-mir stood atop
the great summit, in anticipation.
"It's too late for you now, Tu-Mir" spoke a hoarse voice, rising from the black depths.
"You shouldn't have come" it continued "A grave mistake on your part, you foolish old-"
"You've always been one for theatrics, Gelar" Tu-mir said, cutting the voice off abruptly; his vocals stating a strong and forceful
nature, clear, in defiance of the reverberating ambience.
"Quite the comedian, aren't we?" Gelar scoffed.
"Look, I've not come here for a slinging match. You know why I'm here!"
The ground crunched as a menacing figure stepped into the moonlit arena. His dull armour contrasted greatly to
that of Tu-mir's, which was designed for movement, far lighter than the bulky dragonscale.
"So, what are we to do? You refuse to back down, in your pathetic display of misguided pride, Tu-mir." Gelar clawed his stranded hair out
of his ink-black eyes. He was much more impressive in size than Tu-mir; his length was at least twice a man's, his width
that of an immense boulder.
"You have disgraced our House. You have disgraced our Order, and now you disgrace this sacred place!" Tu-mir asserted, glancing up at
the wretched being opposing him, locking him in sight. "I am not one for violence, but your type respond to nothing else!"
"You are weak. You reak of the stench of it!" Gelar jeered.
"Enough of this!" Tu-mir stretched his arm out, grasping the decorative hilt of his warhammer. He pulled violently, gripping the huge
mace with both gauntlets. Thrusting forwards in fervourous momentum, Tu-mir bolted across towards Gelar. Twisted heavy plate crashed
as Gelar reacted, unsheathing a great hulking mass of razor-edge. The two warriors clashed in a moment of rampant volatility. Gelar
threw his blade in uncontrolled and undisicipled rage, his substantial size making even a warrior of Tu-mir skill suffer. Tu-mir
defended against a devastating blow, but with little success. The Blood-Sipper sliced through his chestplate, tearing a finger-sized wound into his collar bone. Tu-mir grimaced, letting out a yelp of agony. With all of his energy, he pushed upwards with his mace, attempting to stop the blade penetrating any further.
"My blade has tasted blood" Gelar panted, "Ahh the great Tu-mir, how you disappoint!"
"Akra-as Simuoi!" Tu-mir bellowed, shoulder dashing the giant. Tu-mir's hammer, Skeldori, lit up. Symbols glowed across the shaft,
the head releasing a blinding white. Gelar jolted, slicing the air aimlessly. Acrobatically dodging swing after swing, Tu-mir jumped, evading a final attack. With all of his remaining energy, Tu-mir blazed Skeldori through the grawing howls, delivering a
fatal, bone-shattering blow to Gelor's temple. The huge lifeless body quaked as it fractured against the frostbitten face of Mount Felsway, a river of black polluting the crisp silver. Tu-mir fell to a knee. A bolt of pain shot through his torso as he touch the gaping wound. The old warriorraised to his feet and approached the edge of the verticle cliff-face. The war of Felsway had been costly, for both armies; their bodies littered the ice deserts of Zarmara.
"You are safe for now Felsway" he sighed.
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EDIT: I've fixed some spelling and grammar mistakes. Bloody awful mistakes. :X