Thread: Edit my paragraph?

The days seemed to get only longer for Max. It got colder, and the memories of last year haunted him. Now that Max was 18, he felt wiser than last year, though every now and again he would scare himself. The last time he smiled was in September, when he defeated the first follower. Other than that, not even a smirk crossed his lips.

Originally Posted by magmafly

The days seemed to get only longer for Max. It got colder

This seems a bit contradictory since when the days get longer (near summer) the weather becomes warmer, not colder. Otherwise it makes sense, although I don't really know the context.

The days seemed to get only longer for Max. It got colder, and the memories of last year haunted him. Now that Max was 18, he felt wiser than last year, though every now and again he would scare himself. The last time he smiled was in September, when he defeated the first follower. Other than that, not even a smirk crossed his lips.

"than last year" seems redundant.

And smirk doesn't fit the context of "not even a..." because smirking isn't subtle but strong. It could just be "Other than that, not even a hint of happiness".