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GuitarHiro97

Advice?

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Hey guys,

So yeah... last blog post was a bit of a bummer. Things have gotten a bit better since then. Not great, but not terrible...more like tolerable.

Anyways, lets cut to the chase. I'm thinking of leaving Texas Tech and quitting my Computer science degree. Yeah, I know, probs a dumbass move BUT I'm not 100% quitting school. I'm actually thinking of trying to get a pharmacy tech certification or study basic level computer forensics stuff at a much smaller and cheaper community college. Hopefully after that I can find a better job and decide from there if I wanna get a better degree.

Why?

Mainly cos I'm failing all my classes this year. I feel like I have and will be wasting money by continuing here. Texas Tech is a 4 year university with the typical 4 year university tuition. Not exactly easy on the wallet. I keep shoving the blame for my failure on depression and stuff but I have a sneaking suspicion that academic stuff just isn't my thing anymore. Maybe I'll do better with a more career-oriented course.

Right, so now that's outta the way, here's an even dumber idea. I'm thinking of getting an apartment with my boyfriend.

Trouble is, he isn't from america. He's already going to a nice university in the UK and studying what he wants to study. BUT he thinks it'd be worth it to move to the US and study here with the added benefit of me being there. Thing is, he'd be giving up seeing his family and on continuing his current degree plan. He WANTS to do it, and so do i, but I feel like he'd be better off staying in the UK.

He really is a great guy. Probably the best I've known. But I don't want him ruining his life for me. He deserves so much better. As much as I'd like to be able to see him more often, he shouldn't be putting his education on hold for me. And I shouldn't for him. I've made sure he knows that. I'm doing all I can to find a solution that works for us both but it's not easy. Mainly cos our areas of study are so different.

So that was the negatives of that, but, wait, there are a few positives.

One being that we would be able to actually be there for each other. During the time he visited I noticed that both of us were considerably happier and less stressed. And a lot more motivated too. So, I think it would be good for us to be geographically closer.

The second being that his goal is to become a US citizen. This would help him start the naturalization process earlier than he originally planned. Plus, in Texas, he'd be able to qualify for in-state tuition after a year. That'd make any Texas-based colleges and universities cheaper for him.

Third is that community college would be a lot cheaper. For both of us. He is currently paying for his tuition himself. As for me my parents say they're gonna pay for my university but I know they can't possibly afford it. Not at 4 year university prices. This would save them a lot of money, even if it all went bad and I failed that too.

Anyways, I figured here wouldn't be such a bad place to ask for advice. You guys have a lot more life experience than me and are probs a fair bit wiser. What do you think? Got any advice? Is this a dumb idea? I wanna know.

Thanks,
Hiro

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  1. Smith's Avatar
    My suggestion would be to think long and hard about why you are performing poorly.

    If it's actually because it's something you simply don't want to do anymore, then yeah, stop wasting your money. Follow your plan to not only go somewhere cheaper but to study something that you're more comfortable with.

    If it's because of your depression, well-- I'm not going to spend a bunch of time pretending I know more than Jordan Peterson. So I think the video below might be of interest to you (it's 8-minutes long):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8&t=12s

    And finally in regards to your boyfriend, I can't make that decision. You know how you feel, and he knows how he feels. It would be a big move and so you need to be completely confident in yourself, and same for him. That will prove the best chance of it working. It seems like you've given it a lot of thought already and that's a good sign.

    In other words, it isn't always clear what the right choice will be. But maybe sometimes we need to think of things more in terms of what's the "best" or "least-bad" choice.
  2. Theglasshouse's Avatar
    You could always continue later on. It's not usually a good idea to quit completely, I mean you could postpone it because money is money spent. Even if you had those issues, I'd think if you paid all that money it would be a shame to see it all go. Besides, if you do a masters degree in the future, and if you are worried about employment, maybe you can study something specifically so you can be your own boss (to my knowledge grades won't matter with proper experience and a good recommendation because it is a degree from a university that is in demand and besides you can learn what could shape the future such as mobile technology. It is probably a self-image problem you have (but you can do it if positive and forget anxiety) but set realistic goals to study 3 hours per subject). Take fewer courses too. I know you are probably a better student than you think. There's no shortage of jobs for that degree. When you recover from depression decide to try again is my advice. But be 100% sure you are not depressed. Also, try to make sure you study in a way to retain your information. Critically thinking is also important. Know how to take notes, get someone to help you. Restart the semester at some point in the year, things can always get better. Study with someone who probably has a degree in that area. Know the objectives the teachers want you to learn. Ask what are the most important topics and why. Use technology to record classes. Make sure what kind of learner you are and take advantage. Visual learner? Learn by seeing them get help by using technology. Need to learn by teamwork? Explain to a colleague your situation, and adhere to the honor code(work together), and make sure you can give help on explanations and notetaking. Math is visual for the most part. If you have some problems studying because of a disability get special accommodations sometimes they are not detected on time. I have one disability. Use quizzing assessment strategies. You could also have some colleague make study questions for you as a favor or paid. As in what is the general idea in each topic.

    Be prepared to study by learning what the expectations are for the course. Assessing and checking you know the answers by way of looking for extra information or going to the library can help you learn more in depth about the topic if scarce information exists or is difficult.
    Updated April 21st, 2017 at 12:45 AM by Theglasshouse
  3. kaminoshiyo's Avatar
    Not much I can say... Your life, your decisions. I can only give you really general advice.

    Be honest with yourself. Honest about what you want, who you're with, etc. Are you quitting because you don't like it or are you quitting because you believe you can't see it through? Is this person you are bending your life around really the person you want to be with, or are you compromising in some way with yourself or the other?

    Being really honest with yourself- even if painful- can help you make some good...though painful...decisions.

    Be very honest with yourself. Don't be afraid to try for the things you truly desire.