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04-04-2008, 08:50 PM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
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Love or Sexuality
This is kind of like "Which came first, the chiken or the egg?"
Should you let your sexuality determine who you love; or should you let who you love determine your sexuality?
__________________
Life is lighter when you shed your leaves,
better when you nurture your branches,
and more fulfilled when you strengthen your roots.
Last edited by Zorell : 04-04-2008 at 11:42 PM.
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04-05-2008, 08:09 AM
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#2
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northumberland, because Olly Buckle can't take a joke.
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,018
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You can't choose either who you fall in love with or your sexuality - unless you're a randy student who has a homosexual moment and in panic you decide you "must" be "bisexual" like so many of my mates appear to have done.
I'm perfectly straight but there are men I find attactive, and I make no secret of it. It's about being comfortable about your sexuality and open minded.
__________________
Much of the urge to ban is driven, just like Puritanism, by the fear that some people, somewhere, may be enjoying themselves; the rest by the terror of politicians and bureaucrats who fear that if they don’t do something, anything, we might begin to wonder why we pay them. Tim Worstall, (2007)
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04-05-2008, 08:12 AM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
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I see your point, but I've had so many friends who have never had realtionship of any romantic sort, nor shown signs of attraction, yet they're sure "which way they swing."
__________________
Life is lighter when you shed your leaves,
better when you nurture your branches,
and more fulfilled when you strengthen your roots.
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04-05-2008, 08:15 AM
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#4
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northumberland, because Olly Buckle can't take a joke.
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,018
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Same here - one mate never got past holding hands, tentatively, with his "girlfriend" yet insisted he was perfectly straight. No sign of any interest past a posessive need to have this one girl who everyone was after - a quiet, asexual girl she was too.
__________________
Much of the urge to ban is driven, just like Puritanism, by the fear that some people, somewhere, may be enjoying themselves; the rest by the terror of politicians and bureaucrats who fear that if they don’t do something, anything, we might begin to wonder why we pay them. Tim Worstall, (2007)
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04-05-2008, 08:21 AM
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#5
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Addict
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
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The funny thing is I think some of those friends are simply trying to avoid the opposite sex because of a bad relationship with a parent. I don't know all that much, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good reason.
__________________
Life is lighter when you shed your leaves,
better when you nurture your branches,
and more fulfilled when you strengthen your roots.
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04-05-2008, 09:12 AM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: London
Gender: Female
Posts: 217
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I'm confused by the topic. Why is it "OR"? Can't it be both?
__________________
ONE DAY I WILL LEARN HOW TO EDIT! 
CONFLICT! CONFLICT! CONFLICT!!!!
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04-05-2008, 11:15 AM
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#7
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA - Midwest
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorell
This is kind of like "Which came first, the chiken or the egg?"
Should you let your sexuality determine who you love; or should you let who you love determine your sexuality? |
I think you need to make your question more clear because I don't understand exactly what you're asking. |
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04-05-2008, 11:36 AM
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#8
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,558
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Quote:
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I think you need to make your question more clear because I don't understand exactly what you're asking.
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Now, Writ's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I didn't get it either.
I'm just kidding Writ. I just have a strict no-smiley policy, or I would use one!
__________________
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
-- Albert Einstein
"I am really only interested in a fiction of miracles."
-- Flannery O'Connor
Last edited by JosephB : 04-05-2008 at 02:29 PM.
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04-05-2008, 01:30 PM
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#9
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Addict
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
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What I'm trying to ask is if you should determine your love interests by your sexuality ("I'm ****sexual, so there's no way so-and-so's my type...) or if you should determine your sexuality by your love interests ("I've only ever dated **** so I'm ****sexual).
__________________
Life is lighter when you shed your leaves,
better when you nurture your branches,
and more fulfilled when you strengthen your roots.
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04-05-2008, 02:06 PM
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#10
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,260
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There are different kinds of love. You won't love somebody as a sexual partner if they belong to a sex that you aren't sexually attracted to. You can love them as a close friend but they don't make your heart race when they walk in the door or make you feel a longing to really and truly care for them in the way that you would for your girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. The love that you feel for them is a different kind of love to the one you feel for your friends and family.
That's the only answer I can come up with to your question - that's what it's currently asking for. I don't know whether you mean something different by it.
Last edited by Mermaid on the breakwater : 04-05-2008 at 02:08 PM.
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04-05-2008, 02:44 PM
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#11
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: London
Gender: Female
Posts: 217
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__________________
ONE DAY I WILL LEARN HOW TO EDIT!
CONFLICT! CONFLICT! CONFLICT!!!!
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04-05-2008, 02:47 PM
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#12
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,558
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As a heterosexual, I'm not going to "fall in love" with another man in such a way that my sexual preference would be somehow overridden.
Conversely, I'm not going to be sexually attracted to a man to the extent I'd fall in love.
I'm not saying this never happens, but for the most part, it doesn't work that way.
__________________
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
-- Albert Einstein
"I am really only interested in a fiction of miracles."
-- Flannery O'Connor
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04-05-2008, 02:54 PM
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#13
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Addict
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
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Okay, so you get that I am referring to a non platonic love interest. I was worried I wasn't answering the right question.
__________________
Life is lighter when you shed your leaves,
better when you nurture your branches,
and more fulfilled when you strengthen your roots.
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04-09-2008, 09:20 AM
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#14
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: East Coast, US
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,762
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I think most people have a general idea of who they're interested in 'gender-wise' long before they start dating. Usually, when the teen flirting begins, as nature and society dictates-you start dating members of the opposite sex. Curiosity can kick in for experimentation and then it's always possible to 'change teams' so to speak.
__________________
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
E. B. White
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04-09-2008, 09:38 AM
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#15
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: big sky country
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,152
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I let who I love determine my sexuality, in a sense, since I have loved members of both sexes (and married one of each, even) so I identify as bisexual, although I think the kinsey scale is a better way of looking at things than hard and fast labels.
I did use to have different rules on how open I was about the relationship depending on whether I was dating a guy or a girl, until I had my ghandi moment. "Be the change you want to see in the world"
and don't worry, JosephB, if the hinted at "fantasies with alan" thread gets posted, you can always fantasize that you and I beat woods and some other pro at best ball or that I watch the kids while you and the wife have a romantic getaway. 
__________________
Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum
Last edited by alanmt : 04-09-2008 at 09:50 AM.
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