ampersand

Will a woman forgive a man anything? I realize the question may sound patronizing and cliched, but I've gotten away with cheating (ex-girlfriend), manipulating (friend from college years), blatant lying (wife), and most recently, public humilliation (former boss). They all readily forgave me when I asked them to.

Pablo Picasso called women "machines for suffering". Someone recently told me "the heart of a woman is like the ocean in its depth". What is it about women that makes them so willing to give a man another chance?

stephanie

I wouldn't so much base it on gender, but more of the specific individual. I can forgive someone in some cases, but in other cases I can't forgive someone. We (women) are not just these little forgiving, obeying puppets. Some of us are bitches when we have to be and some of us are bitches when we want to be. Not all women are willing to give a man another chance. I think it just depends on what that individual (the woman) is all about.

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The Pride is in The Pain that leads to The Strength

nae411

Personally I think we or I will forgive until we no longer believe in you. One time to many and it automatically gets old. When I get to that point, it's just over. Not one more word will change my mind. Don't know if other women are the same.

Nae

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cbrmale

Ampersand,
Interesting thread. I am in awe of the way the present and past women in my life are blessed with seemingly endless patience compared to us men. I don't know if it is the way women 'are' or the way they are brought up. Maybe most women have this patience and forgiveness because many will become mothers one day.

To quote Pablo Picasso is perhaps a little dated. He was born in the 1880s, women's expectations in his lifetime were very different to what women would accept today. I do not know if he was referring to the women in his life, or women in his lifetime. Either way, things have changed.

I try not to take advantage of my woman's propensity to forgive, I try not to give her the need to forgive me. Instead I just bask in the unconditional love she brings to my life, knowing that I have a life that is extraordinarly happy.

I know the reason for her patience and forgiveness is because she loves me, and she knows I love her. I expect that if I were to push things beyond boundaries, the love and forgiveness would run out. In short, she will give me chances until she cannot give me any more.

TsuTseQ

Congratulations ampersand, it seems these women are willing to do what you are not -- show basic respect and kindness to another human being.

They may have forgiven you, but they likely haven't forgotten. Should you continue to behave this way, I'm sure it won't be long until you're kicked to the curb like a dog.

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Hodge

There's more garbage in the ocean now than there is plankton, the most plentiful oceanic organism (by weight AND quantity).

So really, even if "the heart of a woman is like the ocean in its depth," if you pollute it enough you're screwed anyway.


Also, I really hate topics that involve supposed differences between men and women that aren't physical traits or scientific. As evidenced by the above, how forgiving a woman is depends on the woman -- generalizing a gender is stupid.

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Science

silverwriter

What is it about men that makes them so willing to give a woman another chance?

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The Space Cowboy

We all (men and women) just want to get laid.

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Hodge

Speak for yourself.

Mishka

I don't forgive. Once chance and you're out with me.

xx

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I'm smiling, that alone should scare you

Genuine, no-holds barred, thought provoking critique welcomed!

Fantasy of You

Nice first impression you gave me there. Generalising is for idiots

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martysings

It definitely depends on the woman. My Mom's forgiven me for a lot of crap, but my ex-girlfriend wouldn't even forgive me for something I didn't do.
I think that even if sex wasn't so great, people would still try to get along, but you're right, that is a big factor.

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"All the glory when he took our place, but he took my shouldes and he shook my face, and he takes and he takes and he takes..."
-Sufjan Stevens (Casimir Pulaski Day)

stephanie

I disagree. You can go out and fuck anyone. I think if a woman forgives a man easily for something like cheating and a man forgives a woman easily for something like cheating, it could be because that person doesn't want to be lonely... not because of sex.

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The Pride is in The Pain that leads to The Strength

martysings

"a big factor", not "the only factor".

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"All the glory when he took our place, but he took my shouldes and he shook my face, and he takes and he takes and he takes..."
-Sufjan Stevens (Casimir Pulaski Day)

Hakeem

Yes indeed.

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"The great art of life is the sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." -Lord Byron