Thread: Why do women flirt?

Originally Posted by Mystery

Ahem, where do I start. Non adult people are valid for flirt science theorems but not valid for any other form of opinion(because they are immature, don't have a good view of things yet, see things immaturely etc).

I'm not exactly sure what this blather is suppose to mean. If the only people whose opinions are valid are those you consider mature, and who have a good view of things (according to whom?), then you've done a good job of setting up conditions where you can disregard the opinion of anyone who disagrees with you; because they must be immature, or not have a good view of things, right?

Flirting is not diametrically opposed to fun, people who flirt with people who don't want it, don't like it, or don't like them are no fun. Or do we bait fish with grenades nowdays?

When the flirting is done with intention to intimidate, or humiliate, as it sometimes is (note the word 'sometimes', the same word used in my previous post), one party may be having a great time, but the other is not. If you've never seen that done, experienced it, or done it yourself, you may not have a good view of things yet.

I also regularly ignore people who flirt with me, sometimes because I'm not in the mood(read - grumpy) and other times because I have someone I want to flirt with, they usually leave me alone. Don't confuse desperation and persistance with flirt.

The OP's question was regarding reasons for flirting, there are many.

Seeing as I started it all, I should add a personal contribution.

A married neighbour – she appears in some of my stories – was working with her home help one afternoon when I called in. Her husband was away working.

‘Sharon and I were talking just now,’ she said. She smiled wickedly. ‘We’re thinking of starting a cat-house. I suppose I could pencil you in?’

I mean, what does one do at a time like that?

"I'm sorry," OX replied, blushing, "I'm afraid I'd be far too busy managing the parking arrangements."

That's good. I like it. Unfortunately I am one of life's tortoises. I don't think quickly. I have never been one for the quick rejoinder. I need to go away and think on something for a day or so, to figure out how to handle it. This was what I did in the case in question, and eventually my neighbour came looking for me to apologise for being forward.

Many years ago, when I was working in a factory and the rumors of a layoff began to circulate, a couple of women started talking about the same thing. One of them told me they were sorry that there would be no position open for me. I quickly replied with an offer to do quality control. This was in the months before I met my wife, you understand.

Originally Posted by Terry D

Many years ago, when I was working in a factory and the rumors of a layoff began to circulate, a couple of women started talking about the same thing. One of them told me they were sorry that there would be no position open for me. I quickly replied with an offer to do quality control. This was in the months before I met my wife, you understand.

Just quality control? They didn't have a full-time job for a trainer?

In many ways I'm the same online as I am off. With the exception of a few characteristics. In person I really don't flirt at all with members of the opposite sex. There might be some rare occurrences where I do but as a rule of thumb I don't. I also rarely use the word "nigga." And I never - except in a few rare occasions - divulge my personal history (e.g., prostitution, drug addiction). This later I safe guard pretty tight. Out in the non-cyber real world that is.

I find women flirt because they want something. This includes if they are attracted to the man (possibly woman). I know women pretty well. I know them better than they know themselves. As a general rule. There are exceptions.

To be honest... I don't really like when women stare at me. I don't know if that is regarded as flirting by the people in this thread or not. But I've recently had this uncomfortable problem in a class of mine. On numerous occasions I have caught this young woman staring at me. The first time I caught her I thought it might be motivated out of dislike or hatred. But after catching her on many days doing this, I hazarded a guess it was motivated from something else.

I'm still thin but I've gained a slight bit of wait back. Maybe it's just water weight, I dunno. My chest, thanks be to God, is filling back out and for the most part has regained some of its previous shape. But more importantly I'm dressing very well today and have the most stylish hair style I've had since... forever. I get many compliments on it.

But the exterior can be deceptive. And I don't like females that know little to nothing about me flirting with me. I don't like to be touched either. Which for some reason, some women fill they have the right to do to others. Unfortunately, being male it's not socially acceptable to call sexual harassment. This includes repeated staring, which is deemed sexual harassment if done to a female by a male she does not find attractive.

Basically, women construct ideas in their head about the object of their desires. With rare exception they are not looking for a fully human person but a character in a narrative in some magazine they've read about. Well, this may be less true of impoverished women in developing countries that suffer the harsh realities of gritty survival from day to day. But in a developed nation like the United States I think - I know - it is largely true.

Of course, this does not bother most males. But I'm not most males.

In some ways I'm more akin to the male protagonist in the movie Good Will Hunting, where he bares some of his feelings in the break up scene between him and his girlfriend. Not to be melodramatic. But most teenage girls want to hear sob stories from males and most grown women want to hear only good things. As a rule of thumb. There are exceptions of course.

So, where women can be in drug recovery meetings and laughing cheerfully together about their former prostitution while actively on drugs, and how they don't want unknown males touching them or coming too close to them today, it is not an occasion for laughter for me. I'm 100% real I don't want you touching me. It might be laughter, social forgiveness, and Prince Charming down the road for them. For me there is only life. Darwinian life.

So, if a woman flirts she wants something. Whatever that something is. There is no purity in her intentions.

no no no the question should be: "why do women flirt with you give you their number then ignore you after you try to call them?"

Originally Posted by Ceremony

no no no the question should be: "why do women flirt with you give you their number then ignore you after you try to call them?"

They come to their senses?

how 'bout 'princess charmina'? She just wants to meet you because she thinks...do i need go on?

I'm a woman and I hate to flirt. I actually have concious thoughts about how to make sure I am not even seeming like I'm flirting when talking to the opposite sex. I had a friend in high school who flirted enough for me ...her ..the entire school. I think I started associating flirting with reckless and useless behavior. I'm a fun person and I'm carefree for the most part, but no flirting. I'm over it.

Flirting is an experience in and of itself that has to do with interacting with the part of another person that is kept underneath the surface. It is done using round about words, phrases, and gestures. It's like communicating with someone in the most indirect ways possible. The most important aspect is the eye contact, which is the part I find most difficult. I flirted when I was younger, not as much now. But I said all that to say, it can be a sport.

I do agree though, that a person's hurt feelings are at stake

Originally Posted by wakingaugust

I think I started associating flirting with reckless and useless behavior.

Me too, and i love flirting. because its reckless and useless, not all behaveiour has to be useful.